Back To Square One

Two years ago I left "Teacher" aside as I fell head over heels into the most crazy, intense, love affair of all time. So intense, that I found myself:

1. Working in the adult industry, on my own accord, but pretty much supporting both of us. I have learned a lot about various fetishes and kinks the past two years, more than I ever knew.
2. Becoming addicted to opiates. Now mind you, I took them pretty much recreationally, but as they were readily available, I took them enough to become quite a pillhead. Funny how I wanted to numb the pain when I am ultimately a pain slut.
3. We had amazing sex, incredible sex and then those painkillers took hold of our lives and our libidos. Anyone who takes opitates regularly has the sex drive of a snail.  It was a very sore subject, and cause of a lot of fights and tears, but I fucking LOVED him. But often times I'd lay there thinking, "OK, I am in the prime of my life and I'm not getting fucked often enough" He offered to let me go outside the relationship to fuck around, but see, I am fiercely loyal. I couldn't. I didn't.
4. Our BDSM adventures were sporadic, at best. He did it for me, when we did do anything. Also, when it got brought up, we'd be loaded and then realize it wouldn't be a SAFE thing to do.
5. I did continue to write, but freelance.
6. Amongst the chaos was a lot of good times. We were just volitle. We barely scraped by. Barely.
   No car, food stamps. I am staying on a friend's couch right now. It's going to take a lot of hustlin' to get back to where I can work again, live again.....
7. I became so despondant and depressed, I, one who was previously a social butterfly started hiding out.
8. THIS IS THE BIGGIE: I had a failed attempt at sucide. I am glad I failed. But the pain that was inside me, the fear, everything became too much.  I am happy to say I am very much on the road to health, taking care of myself.
9. There is more to this story, but while I still love my EX very much, we finally realized it was important to my mental health for us to break up. A week ago, I couldn't haven't written this much without crying. Now I am feeling glimpses of freedom. Glimpses.

SO, where does this leave this freebird now? I still keep in touch with Teacher, it had been sporadic these past two years. I think partially because he said from day one my life with my EX was doomed. But I had to learn on my own I guess.

I want to learn to take care of myself, but I do, when I get my life sorted out, to find another Dom, one that is in my age range, no offense to Teacher, but I want a Dom who might enjoy the same music and movie as me.

Actually this is what I want:

1. A full time Dom. Is it possible THEY can be my lover, love of my life, husband and
2. A female slave of my own and
3. A male sissy service slave to come do the cleaning.

Dream on? Maybe, maybe not.

Until I really get back into the swing of the lifestyle I might not be posted as often, but I wanted say I am back!!!!

Different Strokes

By the time I headed home from work last night I was wound up to the point where if I was a dude it would be either fuck or fight. To say I was in a foul mood would be an understatement. Between a weekend full of various car related debacles, family bullshit, and throngs of bargain crazed customers I was mentally and physically exhausted. Add a visit from "Aunt Flo" and well it is amazing I didn't spontaneously combust. It was one of those rare times where I actually wanted my weekend to end so I could start fresh.

Poor Teacher has had to deal with me being a basket case since the fiasco in Atlanta and all the garbage that I threw in the basket afterwards. Being the excellent Dom that he his, he knew exactly what the medicine I needed was to recover.

He gave me ample time to calm down after work, but I still was on edge when he opened the door to my apt. Naked, wearing some new peep toed platforms, I didn't feel as sexual as I would normally. It was like all the anger and angst had coated me with a film and rendered me lackluster. As he unpacked his bags though, I felt my tension subside a tad.

I brought out my shiny new gag for Teacher to buckle around my head Once it was secure in my mouth, I had a few moments of panic that I don't think Teacher saw because he was still getting his tools together. Being gagged always makes me a bit scared. Being highly neurotic I think of shit like that I'm choking on my own saliva. I have to remind myself to focus on breathing through my nose.

Once he was all settled, Teacher slipped a new leopard print blindfold over my eyes and had me put my arms behind my back to cuff and clip together. I think it was because I was still in panic mode, but I couldn't seem to bend over correctly for him to hogtie me. I kept collapsing and falling over. I started to think he'd just say "Fuck it" and leave. As they say in certain circles, I was a hot mess!

Finally I had my shit together, bound and in position I felt the tickle of the tip of little strand on the top of Teacher's crop. Those pleasant tickles didn't last for long. Teacher whipped my ass like he had never done before and I screamed into the rubber ball.

Switching from the crop to the suede flogger mighty wallops felt across my ass and back. My ascent into subspace began. I started wondering if I could take it. It seemed like forever and my skin was fresh.

Out came the dragon tail, and they don't call it "Dragon" for nothing. Stupid me moved at one point while the leather was flying and a blow destined for my ass instead went right between my asschecks striking my pussy. If I was able to I would have flown across the room. Back to the flogger and I was at that point where my ass was numbing and I was flying.

Teacher crouched down next to me and whispered into my ear, "The paddle is going to let you fly X to where you belong" and as he laid the paddle down on my ass, I grabbed his free hand and he let me hold on to it as he spanked the fuck out of me. Now it is moments like that when the pain is juxtaposed with the tenderness of his loving hand that make me feel so utterly close to my Dom.

I am unsure exactly how long I was under, but I felt myself collapse like jelly. For those of you reading this who have never been in subspace, what I can tell you is, imagine if you will falling asleep while having your teeth drilled. Maybe that is not a good analogy, but basically I was feeling no pain whatsoever and only mildly cognizant of what they hell was going on. All without drugs, which as someone who likes a good chemical buzz, is fucking amazing.

Teacher got me out of my haze with some strong slaps with the flogger and worked back up to a bare handed spanking from hell. In the midst of all of this, I was bleeding from my cunt which did not dissuade Teacher from driving his hand up to reach my g-spot. My pussy muscles contracted and I trapped his hand like a fucking boa constrictor as I came around his fingers.

When it was all said and done, it looked like a crime scene, both of us and the sheets covered with blood. Now I was more out of it than I can ever recall after a session. I even felt a bit nauseated which I thought was odd, but then I read something similar on another site today so perhaps it had something to do with all the adrenaline from both the spankings and me being so angry earlier in the evening.

Teacher and I spent a lot of time talking afterwards. "I feel bad that I don't want to fuck Teacher"
"I know"
"You're not mad are you"
"No"
"If I wanted it X, I would take it"

He's so good to me, he knew that it was the pain not the sex that was necessary last night. I never ever ever want to be half-assed in bed, an unenthusiastic lover. Teacher knew that it was necessary for me to have closure for the rough week so I could relax refresh and move on.

I slept like a baby.

About Fucking Time

My gag that has been back-ordered finally showed up in the mail yesterday. After a rough as hell weekend, I am so looking forward to getting the living fuck beat and fucked out of me. It has been a week since I've had either. My libido was scarily low, as was the rest of me. I'm ready to rock. I'm ready to gnaw the new rubber ball into pieces. When it is all said in done, I hope it looks like a used up dog toy.

I tried it on when I opened up the box. It is just not the same when you put on your own gag, I felt like I was trying on a Halloween costume. But tonight, when Teacher comes over it will feel perfect.
That I know.

I have a long ass day ahead of me, but no matter how exhausted I am when I get home I am going to be waiting for Teacher with open arms and open legs.

The Damsel In Distress Is Back

Being a "Damsel in Distress" has been a recurring theme in this blog. Mostly as fantasy fodder, and I've even deduced it might be part of my sub puzzle.

Sometimes, though, being a distressed damsel is a total drag, like when it is reality based vs. fantasy. For instance, since I've returned from Hotlanta Teacher has had to "rescue" me several times.

First Time- Your oversexed blogger lost touch with reality over the last couple of weeks and forgot to pay her electric bill. Now normally she IGNORES her bills, but this time she honestly forgot. While waiting for the eclectic company to come turn on the lights, Teacher came over and kept me company. Which leads me to...
First Time Part 2 -The forgotten electric bill brought me negative in my bank account and I was subsequently hysterical that I was not going to be able to get to work on fumes. Teacher filled up my tank.
Second Time - A few days later I apparently left my lights on while at work and Teacher once again drove to my rescue to help me jump my car. This episode ate up a whole bunch of time we had alloted to play. Teacher has been very adamant about me getting to bed on time to be ready for work.

None of this is sexy whatsoever. But when we got back to my apartment, and I sat there gnawing on a chocolate bar Teacher brought me, I told him, "You know before I would have called 'Bob'(my platonic male bff)" .
"No you call me."
"Not now Teacher, but before we met."
"I know that X, but you always call ME first. Understand."
"But of course Teacher" He pulled off a string of caramel that was hanging from my lip and kissed me. We have been discussing his ownership of me. By default he has become my first contact for,well, anything, but I guess I need reminding sometimes.

I was kind of upset that we didn't have time to play last night as it was the first time I felt remotely sexual since last weekend's episode, and well I know I am truly deserving of some punishment. Still, I went to bed comforted in knowing that our relationship has, like the dogwood tree outside my window, blossomed this Spring.

Sex 2.0 Part 2 -Tears and Trauma

I felt like it was taking me forever to get ready for the Fetish Ball. Giving up on my false eyelashes (I've only inherited the liquid eyeliner skill gene), I asked Teacher if he was irritated by me taking so long.
"Not at all, this is your coming out party."
"I've always wanted to be a debutante! Now I'm a dirty deb!" This was going to not only be my first time going out to a Dungeon with Teacher, but actually going out and socializing with Teacher. We've gone to dinners and hotels, but never mingled.
"I went to sex school all day and now I'm going to the dirty deb ball!" I had taken to calling Sex 2.0 "sex school" while reminding Teacher that he was a lucky Dom for having such a hip sex nerd for a sub.

We both looked hot. Teacher rarely sees me in clothes,much less dolled up. As we rode to the club I became very nervous. "Just in case Teacher, my insurance card is in my wallet." I puffed on my cigarette. "Also, I'm a hyperventilator when I'm nervous."

Now I'm not going to be brutally honest here, it was not even remotely what I had expected in my own little personal fantasy of Atlanta's kinky and swinging elite. "Teacher, there is not one man here I'd want to put his dick in me!" The event was a fetish night hosted by a local swinger's club, so the night was definitely more swingeresque vs. fetish. I only saw one scene of some old dude getting his ass beat by his Domme. There were, though, lots of foxy women in the crowd.

A woman I will call "Donna" who attended the conference particularly caught my eye. She must be in her early twenties, she reminded me of myself when I was in the hardcore (punk)scene with her short hair and Doc Martens earlier in the day, well when I saw her in the club she was glowing in a short miniskirt with her gorgeous tits hanging out each with a clothespin on them.
She told me she got spanked for the first time, "Girl, you know those clothespins are going to sting like a motherfucker when you take them off!"

She kept them on for a cute boob contest. The winner (I don't know who it was really)in my opinion was Lumpesse who not only flaunted some gorgeously humongous boobage, but Twittered on her cellphone as she danced around. If that is not a dedicated blogger, I don't know what is!

Anyway, so Teacher and I explored the various rooms. There really was no action other than some people milling about. The music was blasting, so it wasn't really fit for any serious scening, but it did not stop us from trying out a cool spanking bench. One and long a gymnastic horse. I climbed right on top, hiked my dress up and Teacher when to town spanking my ass.

Well JUST when I was getting into it, I heard a voice. "She's really into it"
I looked up and saw a young black dude with a drink in his hand literally right next to my face
Teacher spoke up, "Back off!"
"I just want to know if I can join in."
"Get the fuck out of here!"
The guy kept flapping his gums, and Teacher got increasingly pissed. "This is a scene do not interrupt."
I'm assuming the guy was totally ignorant to what the hell was going on. The club let in single guys, and there were a bunch of young thugs dudes in hoodies and baggy pants. He left for a few minutes and then he came back in and Teacher piped up. "I told you to get the fuck out of here."
"I thought if I was quiet I could come back in."
The piece of shit then had the nerve to come up right next to me, I looked up again and just saw his crotch, "Can I put my dick in her mouth."
I was so fucking pissed and Teacher was, as I write we can't recall what was said, but the fucker just ruined the evening. I just now found out that Teacher, my commando Dom, had his knife out ready to castrate that guy had he had made a move on me. Honestly, I was scared there was going to be a shoot-out at the OK corral.

Little did I know right then that he had ruined more than the scene.
Teacher and I attempted to move on, but it became apparent that it was just a sucky party. The rest of the 2.0 crew was leaving as well. I must note that this crappy party had nothing to do with the amazing people who organized the event, it just so happened to fall on the same day.

We considered going downtown with everyone, but I was horny and realized I just wanted to play with Teacher. "Let's just go back to the hotel and have some fun. There was no argument there.

Back in the hotel, Teacher erotically undressed me, something I totally love considering I'm usually greeting him fully naked. I felt so sexy and loved.
"Get on your hands and knees X!"
I did and he started barehanded spanking me. The more he spanked, the more I got agitated, but mind you my mind was clear. I was focused on what was going on between him and me. My ass started to numb and I headed into subspace, but I was cognizant enough to be aware of a ball of anger building. I wanted to be cuffed right then. Teacher brought out the beautiful blue flogger and started flogging my ass and then my back, as the flogger strokes lessened, I blurted out "Teacher cuff me!" He didn't get mad at me topping from the bottom, but as he rifled around in his bag for the cuffs, I remained on my hand and knees and it just fucking hit me. "I hate that mother fucker! I hate him!" I was thinking of that asshole at the club who wanted to put his dick in my mouth. The more I thought of it, the more violated I felt, and then I just got fucking hysterical.

The asshole had awakened dormant skeletons of past violations. Yes that is plural. Once upon a time I had been molested, gang raped, drugged and sodomized, raped and sodomized, and fucking just plain old taken advantage of while in a drunken blackout.

I broke down.
"I feel so violated!" I did. I did. I was crying, blubbering, and wailing. Every ugly buried feeling about those situations surfaced. "I want to fucking go back there and find that piece of shit Teacher and kill him!" I felt his ugly ball of emptiness and hate in my chest.

So that guy had not only ruined my scene, but ruined my evening. He also ultimately ruined a night Teacher had been looking forward to after a horrific week. Being intimate was out of the question at that point.

Needless to say, Teacher consoled me and was concerned. He questioned if it was safe for me to participate in BDSM. I reminded him that it was not him who brought me to that state but the awful man . Even through my own tears, I felt concern for Teacher.

I do think it is safe, if not safer. I was able to release a lot of stuff that obviously has been weighing me down. I've been in and out of therapy for years, but even to this day I haven't been able to get to the level where I can recall much less discuss all the hell I have been through.

A few moments ago I just told Teacher he could read this if he wants, but he said he didn't think he could.

One thing I mentioned to him last night was stuff I had read that when you're in subspace anything can happen.

Still despite that shitty episode, I have enjoyed my weekend with Teacher.

Fuckmeat

I've attempted numerous times to try to condense my last two weeks of debauchery into one big dirty post. It is impossible. Had I been smart, I would have posted daily, but alas I didn't. I give up. I'll just start in the middle.

With Teacher's blessing, I've been fucking around with Mark, quite a lot. The dude is fucking crazy, but that makes me want to fuck him more.

The second time we fucked, things were much more active than our inital session.
He, unlike Teacher, is not very much into foreplay, but that said somehow it is ok with him. He makes up for it in dirty talk and a big cock. He gnawed all over me, the back of my neck, my chest, my ears as he fucked me from behind. The same night he slapped me across the face as he fucked me, he also slapped my tits, and held me down in a chokehold as he fucked me into a multiple orgasmic frenzy. The most bizzare thing happened though, it was not the chokehold that made me lose my breath, at some point during this rough session, i lost my breath and blacked out for a second. I chalked it up to the most active fucking I've experienced in ages coupled with some intense orgasms. When were through the windows in his bedroom were fogged, we were drenched with sweat, and both our eyeglasses fogged up when we put them back on. I woke up the next morning sore and black & blue. My tit still has a bruise the size and color of a liver.
====
"Come over and let me eat your pussy before I play." Mark is a musician. "I love going out smelling like cunt." Not only did he go down on me, but proceeded to fist me, my first time experiencing this. It didn't take me long to come, my muscles clenched his entire hand almost instantly. "I'm not going to wash my hands." As he played that night, I sat there watching with a smile, knowing that as he sang the essence of my cunt co-mingled with his sweat. He dragged me back to his place that night and proceeded to fuck me once more.
====
"All I ask X is that you ask my permission to go see Mark," Teacher said to me last night. I have yet to lose my Vanilla guilt programing. "May I go see Mark Monday night?"
"Yes you may"
Tonight our sex was nothing to write home about, but I was able to get him off via a blow job and as I swallowed his cum, I felt satisfied knowing that I had suceeded where apparently many women had failed before. I always am afraid I'll lose my blow job chops. If I didn't have a mouth full of jizz, I would have let out a sigh of relief
___
"Fuckmeat" Teacher called me the other night. He's enjoying me catting around. Tonight he asked me "Do you feel like a slut?"
"I always feel like a slut."
"I guess I'd be more of a slut if I fucked both of y'all the same night."
"I can come over." Oh fuck.
"Ha!Ha!" he laughed. He knew I couldn't handle it tonight.
"You know what Teacher? What would be probably the most slutty if both you guys gave me a creampie the same day. Now THAT would be slutty."
_______

"Sunday night your ass is MINE." Teacher informed me the other day.
I was fine with that. Sundays have been our night for a long time and I missed him terribly.
We spent a lot of time discussing my current dalliance, and well folks in the midst of our conversation, Teacher let out the "L" bomb! Yep, he didn't say "I love you x" directly, but in the course of discussing something. "You just said you loved me!" I kissed him. "You know I kind of knew you did, but was never expecting you to say as such and I figured that was OK."
Teacher showed me his love via a barehanded spanking after fucking me to orgasm. I was already exhausted, so that coupled with the orgasm the pain of the spanking dissapated very quickly and I ended up in a very sleepy-state like subspace. I would not be surprised if I was drooling. When Teacher was trying to rouse me from la-la land I had a hard time making a complete sentence.
----
Fucking has other benefits besides orgasm. I have also lost almost 10 lbs the last two weeks. I have felt incredibly sexy, and have enjoyed feeling the increasing tautness of my ass and hips. But, I am incredibly, incredibly tired. It has been hard to keep up with my basic stuff-like my blog, laundry, and even my tv shows! But the laundry and the tv can wait, my blog is much more important.

The Other Lover and My Love

Lots and lots of catching up to do my readers.

So not long ago I met a guy I'll call "Mark" at my local hipster watering hole. He caught my eye the minute I walked in, it wasn't that he was ultra hot, but that he had some some unique glasses and just a very rock'n'roll aura about him. Having slept with my fair share of musicians, I have a good radar for these types of dudes. Of course at the bar as I was at, anywhere I turned I was in spitting distance from some musician or another.

I mentioned to one of my girls that I thought he was cute, and she suggested I tell him I like his glasses. I poo-poohed the idea and went back to my cocktail, and my evening. Later on I turned around to see him walk by and flashed him a smile, and quickly turned back around. A few minutes later he came over to me "I like your glasses," he said I too, wear some pretty non-conventional frames. Ends up he's a new dude in town.

From the first word it was obvious that he was a slick motherfucker, with major game. After some quick chit-chat getting to know one another, it ended up that we had numerous friends in common. Our social microcosms, despite being 1000s of miles apart overlap. So he flirted with me as I sipped on my drink, "can I get your number, we should hang out sometime." I honestly hesitated, as Teacher was the first person I thought about. I knew giving this guy my number could feasibly lead me to some trouble. Before he left, I had slipped of my glasses and he commented on my eyes, "They're the color of sweet tea." Awww. "Your have pretty lips too." Before I had a chance to thank him, he gave me a quick kiss on the mouth and ran out the door. I swooned the whole way home.

Meanwhile, my girlfriends took it upon themselves to tell me that they thought he was bad news. I, though already knew that from some of the information he gave me about himself and his troubled past. That made me like him more.

Guilt overwhelmed me for having any sort of feelings for another man besides Teacher. The next day I told him "There is a guy who wants to hang out with me."
"Go for it."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"X, you are a young woman. I can only give you so much of my time. Go out with him, you have a lot in common."
"Really Teacher?"
"Have fun. Now if you start want to having a relationship with him, that is an entirely different issue."
"But Teacher, you know if you did the same thing I would be fucking livid. You know how I am."
Have I mentioned Teacher has a fat cow that refuses to go to pasture? She's no threat, just on my time. I'm her threat.
I just didn't' want to set myself up to be a hypocrite.

Now while I heard everything Teacher said, I still couldn't wrap my little mind around it, much less I was in a relationship where I could even bring another person up. Still, I didn't have the ovaries to tell him that I was going to see him the next day and made up some ridiculous story about bowling.

Mark texted and called me the next day. He's a high strung guy, not the insightful listener I have found Teacher to be. But then, this was not going to be about talking I had a feeling. Once my girls got wind that I was going to meet up with this dude, they started razzing me about how I was going to hop into bed with him very quickly. Instead of arguing that I wouldn't, I opted to let my freak flag fly and told them "you're damn straight I'm going to fuck him." They know I'm a slut, but not to the extent of my sluttery.

I'm not in high school my readers, I'm a grown woman and this is my sexual prime. I never want to look back with a withered cunt and an estrogen patch wishing I had enjoyed myself while I had the chance.

Bowling, I did not go. But I did go meet up with Mark. Our chit-chat was minimal. He put on some loud tunes, and threw me down and kissed me. As I told Teacher, it was not the sweet soulful kisses I get from him, but purely animalistic. It was also a tad awkward as we didn't really have any "getting to know you" here's how I operate action. It was zero to 60 in under a minute.

He gave me a few moment to admire his tattoos, and then started ripping off my clothes.
"I'm totally into big asses and big tits," he growled
"You're in right place my friend" I said looking him right in the eyes. He pulled my bra down and admired my breasts. "Those are some gorgeous tits" I, once again, thanked my two girls silently.
"I want to eat that sweet pussy of yours darlin," and he pushed me down on his bed, and pulled my panties down, tossing them aside.
He went to work, parting the lips of my cunt, and properly pulling them back to reveal my taut clit. With skill he licked and sucked, and darted tongue in and out, fucking my pussy with his tongue for quite some time. I had just started digging it when he stopped. "Baby, I love eating you pussy, but right now I just want to fuck. I'm going to eat you out some more later."
"Actually first I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours."
So right then my vanilla cone fell on the floor and got dirty. Hmm, I thought, this might be more interesting than I thought.
He pulled his jeans off. I was not surprised that he was going commando, as it seems to be de rigueur for all the pervy rockers I've ever fucked.

Mark had a very ample sized cock. Very. It was thick, long, and smooth. Not too veiny. In retrospect I guess he did shave around that area, as the rest of him is pretty hairy, but not in a gross way. He is much shorter than Teacher, not buff by any means, just a regular dude, but definitely with sex appeal.

Being the cumslut that I am, I willingly opened my mouth to for the first taste of this new cock. He held my head still as he drove his thickness in and out, ultimately subsiding to let me do my work. As I worked him with my tongue, I thought about my training with Teacher. How lucky this dude was to have a slut as skilled as I was sucking his dick. I gagged as I attempted to take him down my throat, and I could tell he loved the show, groaning, looking very satisfied.

Where the segue way from sucking cock to getting fucked is a blur, but I know I ensured he put on a condom, as Teacher and I have been fucking bareback since forever. Also, I know I was on all fours as he drove his cock into me for the first time. "How do you like that cock, you filthy bitch?" I could do nothing but gasp as his size made my cunt ache.

So Mark is fucking the shit out of me, when he stops and spanks my ass. I yelped. He spanked me again. Not a tap or a smack, but a big old wallop. My actual words have escaped me, but I know I told him how much I dug being spanked.
"You like it rough huh, X"
"Mmmmm"
He proceed to spank me, then fuck me, spank, and fuck. I started to lean down on my arms when I felt my head being yanked up by my hair. Oh yeah!
With both hands he held onto my hair, pulling my head back as he pounded into me. As I started to come, I must have been loud, because he pushed my head back down. "You've got to be quiet" (due to his living situation.)
Of course being me, I didn't mind having my head pushed down as he fucked both of us to orgasm, it just made it even hotter.

We were a sweaty mess afterwards, smoking, and he said "So you liked this spanking, huh" Oh yeah, mind you this cat is still hard, I'm trying not to climb back on him.
"Yep."
"I always end up with the submissive ones."
My mouth just fell to the floor. Mind you this dude has no idea that I am anyone's sub, no word of BDSM has been spoken. I don't even think he's officially a lifestylist, but as Teacher said, just a kinkster.
"Why do you think that is?"
"I'm just a dominant dude." That I don't know exactly, as he's not stereotypically macho, but he no wallflower either.
Still, I don't mention my whole story about being a sub, I just let it be. In case you have not been reading this blog long, or may not remember, part of my finding Teacher was inquiring about how anyone would know a sub is a sub, like on the street. This once again just confirmed to me that I'm truly acting upon my nature.

We went for round two. Knowing, though, this time my proclivities, Mark was a bit rougher. This time the spanks were harder, the hair tugged on a bit rougher, his thrusts stronger and he even slapped my face, which caught me off guard, and I liked. Though Teacher has never done as such and I don't think it is his style.

When the evening was over and Mark walked me to my car, he said, "So you're into kinky sex huh."
"Yep"
"Maybe next time I can tie you up. Would you like that?"
I just smiled.
--------
So I'm all sated, having enjoyed myself, but the whole night I was in mental torment. Teacher had said it was OK for me to hang out with him, but never did mention me fucking him. Then I started thinking about what he'd think about Mark tying me up. I decided that it that was brought up I was going to tell Mark that right now I only trust one person to tie me up. I would to need to truly find out this guys experience with this. I don't need to lose any limbs.

When Teacher came by the following night I came clean. He chuckled and was not one iota upset with me. "I want you to enjoy yourself X. I am very proud of you for being a slut."
I couldn't believe my ears. We had some pretty heavy conversations about the whole thing, and yet still I was feeling utterly guilty.

"I want to write about my experience in my blog, but I don't' want to hurt your feelings."
"You won't X. There is nothing you can do to make me take away your broadband connection."
We cracked up. I'm using his computer and Internet service.
"So I can be explicit."
"I want you to be."

I had to be 100% honest.

I uttered something I have yet to say to him.
"Teacher, I have to tell you something I swore I would never say to you first and I don't' want you to feel obligated to reciprocate."
"OK"
"The whole reason why I am in turmoil about this is not only because I respect you, but because..because I love you." I think I was holding my breath. "I think you already know that but I never wanted to say that."
"I always took your word "adore" as carefully chosen.

He kissed me and hugged me, and all was good in the universe.

Ain't Nothing Free

Money, it is the bane of my existence. Oh I love to spend it, but it is beyond me to manage it. I've been taught the process of budgeting, saving, etc. numerous times but I still always seem to find a way to slither down into the putrid hole of debt.

As much as I hate being in debt, I hate asking anyone for money. To do so is to admit I'm a fuck-up, if anything admitting it myself. To owe someone you know money is a whole lot different ballgame than say, owing a bank. But desperate times make for desperate measures. One thing I've never done and never wanted to do is to borrow from a boyfriend.

Today I broke my promise to myself.

He sat in the lot of the gas station in his sleek ride, hair in pony tail, cigarette in mouth. I pulled up beside him, happy to see his face, but I considered crawling over to him. I felt too low to walk.

"Here's your money X," he handed over a check to me. As lowly as I felt, I felt utterly thankful that I would be able to pay off the party that was harranguing me. Of course I was still in debt, but now in debt to Teacher. We had already made plans for my repayment out of my next paycheck.

I opened my mouth to thank him, and he snatched the check right out of my hands.

"You thought it was going to be that easy X?"

I was a tad dumbfounded, but mostly scared.

"You're going to learn from this loan my sweet," Teacher exhaled smoke out his window and took a long hard look at me. Me, well I was gnawing at my lip trying not to tear up.

"I now have a mortgage out on your pussy X," he cackled in such a way I was starting to wonder if this was the same Teacher who held me against my door last night and spanked the shit out of me and then cradled me in his arms for the rest of the evening.

I worked up the courage to speak up. "Teacher, I thought we had already made plans for me to pay you back."

"That is true X, but that is in regards to the financial debt. See, you also must repay your debt to me for your utter slackness, I've spend a lot of time trying to train you X, and well I'm very disappointed that you have been so..hmm..sloppy with your finances."

I felt my face break out in the heat of shame.

"I'm so fucking sorry Teacher. Honestly. Sincerely. You have no earthly idea how mortified I am at this moment, much less mortified that I had to even ask you."

"Now I will give you a teeny bit of credit for coming to me first, as your owner you are ultimately my responsibility. Imagine, if you will, a dog that has decided one day they were never housebroken. The owner comes home from work, ready to walk his pet and there on the floor is a sight he has not seen since the dog was a puppy--a big puddle of pee. Now he doesn't even have to say anything to the dog because the dog already knows he was wrong and is cowering in behind the couch. Still, he's pissed off it has been a long day. Now he could do a few things. The dog's master could clean the puddle, reprimand the dog and go on with his evening OR decide that this dog was useless and give him away, despite all the time invested in the training and building of a relationship with that dog."

I still was chewing on my lip. It was increasingly hard to look Teacher in the eye.

"A master worth his salt would keep the dog and figure out the cause of the dog's poor behavior, and strive to correct it. A shitty master would just give up, get rid of the dog and find a new one."

A new dog?! A new sub?! No!

"Teacher I think you are a master worth his salt and I know you wouldn't just toss me out."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are. I'm not just saying that. I know you believe in me, otherwise you would not have taken me on. Still, I do want you to know that I will do everything I can to rectify my shitty ways."

"Are you truly worth my trouble X?"

"Yes Teacher Sir, I am." I was so humbled, I could barely get my words out.

"Now if that is the case, I think you can start repaying me today."

"But Teacher, I don't get paid till Friday." My quick reply made it seem as if I had not listened, but I did, I was just so nervous. I could see in Teacher's eyes he was getting a bit perturbed. He doesn't hide is irritation very well.

"That is not what I was talking about X, " he said putting his face so close to mine that I instinctively started moving backwards my head almost touching the passenger side window.

As I opened my mouth to reply, Teacher grabbed a fist full of hair.

"THIS is what I was talking about my dear sub," as he spoke he unzipped his jeans and unleashed his cock, which was just as hard and angry as the rest of him, red and purple and veins bulging. He pushed my my head down, his fingers entwined between my brown locks, onto his prick.

I didn't fight it. I'm sure some would, but then we're talking about me, a sub who derives pleasure from being sufficated by cock stuck in her airways.

"You little fucking whore X, you're going to fucking take all of me in that mouth of yours"
He didn't give me a chance to wrap my tounge around the head of his cock because he was fucking my throat, my head banging against the steering wheel, totally oblivious to the fact that we were just in a busy gas station parking lto.
I'd have a second to breath and he'd ram himself right back in. Drool and tears soaked both Teacher's jeans and my chin.
My panties were soaking as well.
"You are going to pay back every fucking dollar X, whore or no whore, you got me?"
I made an attempt at replying which probably sounded like "waawaaawa."
"Got me X?"
"wawaaa"
"I can't hear you X speak a bit louder!"
"WaWAwaa" it was impossible to speak with cock slamming into my palate.
"Louder X"
"WaWAAAAA" I didn't have to try much longer because he shoved his cock down my gullet and let go a hot stream of cum.

Usually Teacher takes his time on the recovery end of a sex act, but today was not a normal day. He zipped up, handed me the check, kissed me on the forehead and said "Get your ass out of this car and go pay that goddamn bill"
"Yes, Teacher" I obeyed. It if is possible to do the walk of shame in less than five feet, I most certainly did it.

When I got back in my car I looked at the check. In the notes section he put "CMSLT"

Maybe I should have gotten an advance on my taxes.

Nah.




original erotic fiction by subnouveau based on some reality. some.

Be Careful What You Wish For

"X be careful what you wish for," Teacher said with smirk. Well I don't know if he was smirking because we were on the phone, but he certainly sounded like he did.

He took my BDSM wish-list to heart. In a few weeks we will be having a little fetish fête with another Dom and his slave. Sounds good on paper, but having never been in such a situation I would be a total liar to not say I'm not a bit nervous. But I'm excited. Very excited. So much so that it has been the main topic of all my masturbatory fantasies since he's shared his plan with me.

I have not been with another MF couple in a vanilla situation either. I have been with two guys at one time--thank you Jack Daniels! I did have a MFF threesome but it was a coke fueled evening and it ended up being more like me and the dude and the chick passed out.

Anway, this situation is going to be different on many levels. One it is planned. Two I'll be sober. Three, and most importantly, I will be involved as a submissive.

Teacher and I have yet to play in public, much less with another couple. I have also yet to mingle with those in my local kinky community, so this two will be very interesting for me to see another D/s couple interact.

One thing I have given much though to and have brought up to Teacher is protocol and my behavior around the other couple. He and I have our own thing, and I think he's possibly more lenient with me than the other Doms I read about. Part of this I think is that he knows my nature is like one of a young calf trying to stand up for the first time on wobbly legs coupled with Mr. Magoo and perhaps early-onset Alzheimer's. Imagine if you will a three-year old running around, switching from toy to toy to toy wreaking havoc and finally the mother yanks the kid and tells them to sit down. That my readers is me. Now as I write this I'm sure I'll have hell to pay for saying he's taken it easy on me.

Now I told Teacher I want to know exactly how to behave, as I want him to be a)proud of me as his sub and more importantly b)I know I am a reflection of him and I want to make sure he is regarded as the good Dom that he is. He told me that he had already planned to have that discussion with me. Good to know we're on the same wavelength.

So I'm certain he and this other Dom I'll call, hmmm, Mr. Spank must have something up their sleeves. I mean, I know I would. Considering the competitive nature of men I would imagine I might be in for some intense pain, major mindfuckery, and God willing a mouth full of pussy and cock.

Speaking of pussy and cock, I must say that I'm mostly aroused by the thought of possible interaction with the other sub. My current fantasy has us tied together in such a manner that our cunts are smashed together, clit touching clit, making it virtually impossible to not come. I've thought a lot how I will handle it if Teacher fucks that woman. I think I can deal with it as this is not a local situation. Somehow that makes it OK with me. Not to mention that her man will be there. I think a single chick is where I'd be threatened. I am also a bit of a voyeur so just getting to see live and person some beatings and fuckings seems like a total party to me. Being fucked by the other Dom at this point is not really on my mind. I would though, be interested in an attempt at some good ol' dp-double penetration.

I think I watch too much porn.

photo from wiredpussy

Empowerment Through Pain

Zoned out and finishing up my last post last night when I heard the front door being opened.

Teacher.

I was still in my writing head space and nowhere near being in sub mode, in fact quiet the opposite. Having not realized how much time had passed, I did not even had a chance to get myself into position. While Teacher said he didn't mind, I missed an opportunity to start to relax.

As I watch him unpack his case and lay lengths of rope down on my bed it became evident that I was very keyed up and not ready to play. Teacher must have realized this as he sat down and patted the space next to him for me to sit. He lit us both a cigarette. We discussed my BDSM wishlist, he told me things that surprised him --knife play to the point of drawing blood, to things that are possible in the near future -group sex.

Teacher had me stand up and put my arms behind my back, and he started to bind my arms. "Ummm..No."
"Huh?"
"X, I know you want to wear the opera gloves, but your proportions are not going to allow this to happen. Those are for people who can put their arms behind their backs and touch their elbows."

I pouted.

"We'll do this with your arms up." I held my wrists out and he coiled the ropes in a way I had not seen him do before. The rope went around my wrists, around my thighs, and around my ankles, with a long strand that separated my labia around to my ass. "Are you doing Shibari Teacher?" As I felt like I was starting to look like I was being bound in a macramé plant holder. He laughed, and went on to explain that if he did what it would look like. From his explanation I am under the impression that it does not seem like something he'd be into, he's more into the practical than artistic.

Still, I felt beautiful in the ropes. Teacher had me get on my knees with my hands outstretched with my ass handy for him to destroy.


Life has been rough and I had been clamoring to escape myself to such an extent that I must have dove right in. From the moment I felt the first sting of his hand against my flesh I was an entirely different being.

Teacher rotated through a battery (no pun intended) of his pain tools, from this gorgeous blue suede flogger to the crop to the fucking viper tongue interspersed with bouts of drumming on my ass like John Bonham circa Physical Graffiti.

The suede flogger fell with such a thud that there were several times that I almost though he was using his fists, but as the strands fell across my back a quick wash of relief filled my soul. Just as I started to enjoy the thwacks of blue suede Teacher employed the stingy evilness that is the viper tongue.

I was not gagged so I moaned and cursed, "Goddammit" was the word of the evening. Neither was I blindfolded, but my eyes were clamped shut. My sense of smell for some reason was in overdrive. The ropes on my wrists smelled like a hardware store with a top note of fresh paint. Like a huffer with an aerosol can and a paper bag, I inhaled the rope scent. Bondage after all is my drug.

Teacher was truly whipping, flogging, beating me like he has never done before. Using my safe word occurred to me, but apparently it manifested in me squirming away from his strike.

"Keep your ass still X!" Teacher commanded. I did as told for what it seemed like forever, and I focused my damnedest on not moving. I don't know if Teacher stopped, or I flatted down on the bed first but I just lost it, completely hysterically crying:

"I can't do anything right," I wailed.
"That is not true X," Teacher said pulling me into his arms.
"No, I can't do anything right Teacher" Oh man I was hyperventilating. When I have a bout of hysterics I don't fuck around.
"What are you talking about?"
"I..moved my ass and you told me not to move my ass."
"X, I told you to lay down" Apparently he had told me I could move my ass, but those cries of self-loathing were in all actuality in reference to my anger at my current situation. We both knew that. Teacher knew I needed the catharsis and he took me there, and then like a good Dom he both soothed me and then took advantage of my vulnerability.

Teacher, as I have often teased him, is prone to dacryphilia . My tears brought forth a hard cock as he worked on soothing me.

As my tears dried he worked on pumping both nipples with the syringe pump and the attached the chain tweezer clamps to either one. With a set of alligator clamps he attached one to one of my pussy lips and held on to the other side of the clamp, pulling on them as he worked at sucking on my extremely erect and sensitive nipples.

The more Teacher licked and chewed, the wetter I became. He released the clamps and started kneading my entire pussy. Once again I learned a new thing about my body, as he squeezed at my cunt like it was a ball of dough, I felt my orgasm arise from not clit central or even within my vagina, but from the outside, specifically the center of my mound. Holy crap even as I write this I am feeling my cunt twitch, as it was such a deliciously intense feeling and one of those orgasms that is not just a quick pulse, but a full-on explosion that renders your entire being utterly in ecstasy.

I was still coming as Teacher stood over me and shoved his thick cock in my mouth, greeting my tongue with a taste of pre-cum. As I was laying on my back he chose to fuck my mouth versus me sucking on his dick. Having your face fucked is so fabulously filthy isn't it? He slammed his meat in and out of my mouth, taking stabs at insides of cheek and back of my throat, while his balls slapped against my head.

Just when I though he was going to unload he flipped me over, dragged me towards him and stuck his cock into my puddle of wetness. Teacher felt harder than normal, or perhaps I felt tighter than normal, but all I know is I loved the fullness of him as he lay into me.

He must have felt my cunt starting to contract..

"Come on my cock you slut" he growled, pulling on head back, still fucking away.
"Come on my cock!" he commanded and then paused to feel my cunt muscles twitch. The dirty talk and the idea of my muscles grabbing onto his dick made me orgasm as told.
"That is a good girl," he said grinding into me, scratching at the rawness of where he had beat on me. I was on the cusp of coming again when he took that final plunge, all the while holding my wrists down to the bed.

I love to feel my baby come, I truly do.

When all was said and done, I looked down at the wreckage on my floor and saw the paddle. "You didn't use that did you?"
"No"
"I didn't think so, thank G-d." As much as I like being spanked and whipped, I'm also starting to honestly hate some of these implement. "You know Teahcer, that flogger, it made me feel like I was walking through a car wash with all those flaps and brushes smacking me."

..........

Today I was able to tackle my visit with EVIL without crying. While I dealt with Satan & Co., I felt the heat on my ass from my beating and I felt a whole lot stronger than I would have ever imagined.

My BDSM Wishlist

One thing that I think makes BDSM so appealing is the endless possibilities for play between partners. You always see advice columns suggesting vanilla couples "spice things up" and even do some light bondage with furry handcuffs of course. But from what I can tell so far, those of us who are of the kinky contingent are rarely boring. I get bored VERY easily and I think that is one of numerous reasons I love this lifestyle.

There are so many things within the realm of BDSM that I, as a sub, have yet to experience. I know that I am to be patient, though it is my tendency to be otherwise.

Still here is a list of stuff I hope to experience in the future, I don't know if I've shared all these with Teacher or not:

• Suspension - now here I honestly don't know what I'd be getting myself into. I have a terrible fear of heights and falling. Still, the idea intrigues me. Every account I have read makes it seem quite mind blowing.
• Complete sensory deprivation. No Limit Slave had a great post this week about her experience. Once again I think It would challenge some of my deepest fears and I am at the point where I can trust Teacher to take me through this.
• Hot wax play
• Public play - dungeons, doing tasks in public for Teacher, being made to wear certain things
  
• Group sex, though I must admit most of my fantasies around this are more of the lesbian ilk. But, under Teacher's watchful eye I could handle another dude providing he wasn't gross.
• Latex/PVC -I just like how it looks and think I'd like to at least wear some one night
• Fisting - Teacher I don't think is keen on this as I am, he has mighty big hands. Maybe I am wrong.
• More verbal humiliations. Which if you guys even had an inkling of my bullshit that I am going through right now would seem utterly absurd.
• Different forms of bondage -I love those behind the arm Opera gloves. I think I'd like to be tied up and left alone for awhile.
  
• Needle and more knife play, perhaps to the point of cutting.
  
• Some more extreme play in general, water, electric who knows.
  
• I wish to relinquish more of my control over to Teacher. I am at a point where I must escape myself more than ever before.
  

What items are on your BDSM wish list?

photo from waterbondage

VD

Two days early, but this picture I got as a comment I had to share so you guys can share with your amour.

Bound, Gagged, Smacked, Fucked

Dueling cases of colds did not hold me and Teacher back from meeting up last night. Amongst boxes of Kleenex and bottles of Nyquil, we made room for some action. As I write I feel like utter ass, but I'll tough it out long enough to share the goods.



Things changed up a bit from my previous post, as we ended up running some errands and well, that involved me dressing up to go out in the cold, but when we got back, he had me undress, put on my corset lace boots and stand up on my knees. Candles were lit and we were quickly back in the mood.



He attached cuffs to both my wrists and ankles, and then connected those so I was linked together but still facing straight ahead. Taking two neckties he had left at my apartment, he applied on to my eyes as a blindfold,and one as a gag. As I did mention, I put on some of my music, and he was cool with it, as he said it was for my pleasure. (I am sorry I can not divulge the band name, as they're pretty obscure and I've been ranting about them to my friends, but let's just say it's some doom metal). Go figure though, I don't really recall hearing the music other than the noises in my own head.



Teacher started out by lightly flogging my tits. He really hasn't flogged my tits much, so this was a new sensation. I must have liked it because I recall sticking my chest out for more. Blindfolded, I honestly fell into subspace pretty damn quickly. I felt myself go a bit limp, that was until he started flogging my back and ass with the Viper Tongue. That damn thing feels like 101 bees stinging all at once and all I know is I started moaning to the point I almost felt I was going to speak in tongues. I had never heard this sound come out of me before, I wasn't crying or yelling, but one long extended groan. How long he flogged, who the hell knows, I know my ass was almost numb when he roused me from my state by scratching down either cheek, at that point I kind of wanted to stay where I was in my head, but he wasn't having any of that, he unbuckled my wrists as they were apparently changing colors, and had me place my hands on the bed with my ass facing him.

I heard the click of the lube bottle open, and then a cold slick of the lube was applied to my asshole. It had been awhile since we've had anal sex, but I was prepared as I would ever be. He took his time working his cock into my anus, and then fucked me oh so hard. Teacher, was talking dirty to me, I wish I can recall what he was saying, because he's normally not a big talker while fucking me. That said, I knew he was enjoying himself immensely. Something happened with me though, I think I got so detached while being flogged, that I just couldn't, or possibly didn't want to get off. No particular reason, I think I knew I just didn't have it in me. Being sick and then going into subspace was a lot on my body. I didn't dislike it, I think this session was just not sexual for me, and Teacher told me later on that that is OK. Meanwhile Teacher got out the flogger and started whacking my back. That, I did enjoy, it is almost like a massage for me as I hold all my tension in my neck, back and shoulders.

When Teacher came in my ass, I curled up next to him, still bound at the ankles, gagged and blindfolded. He took off my blindfold and I just started sobbing. "I don't know why I'm crying!" I muttered.

"You don't have to have a reason X" and he held me for a long time. "I can't imagine anyone doing what we just did and just leaving the sub," I said to him.

"That would be rotten, this is aftercare and it is very important, plus I like lying with my little X (insert his pet name for me)" I then told him how I read about aftercare prior to us meeting and how I was terrified that I'd meet someone who would just leave me high and dry, like many men, albeit Vanilla men, had done before.

Sometimes I think all my posts might seem the same, but I know they are not. Each time we do what we do, it gets to be more intense, more of a mind fuck.

It wasn't the smartest thing in the world to play while we were both all sniffley, but I am glad we did.

painting by trevor brown

Viper

When I got off of work, I called Teacher as I always do and he was not there. Instead of thinking that he was probably working on his project, I started obsessing that instead he was with my arch nemesis. The more I thought of it, the angrier I got, even though I knew that I was more than likely full of shit. We didn't have plans for the night, so I decided that the healthy thing for me to do was to just turn my phone off so I would not obsess about him calling me. I did as such, and busied myself with Internet crap for at least an hour. Around 11:30, I turned the phone back on, he had called and sounded a bit miffed, as he had planned on seeing me. Immediately, I rang him and he said he'd turn around and come over. Still, to me, he sounded disappointed.

After he hung up the phone, I ran to my bedroom, tore off my clothes, and put on my new boots. Dressed, or rather under dressed, I ran around lighting candles and dragged a big cushion to the foyer. I called him back, "The door is open." Usually this is a prearranged situation, as I have mentioned previously he's instructed me to leave my door unlocked and be ready to present myself. This time I decided to do it on my own volition.

There in the darkness, in front of my door, I kneeled in my presentation position until my feet went numb, then I rearranged myself on all fours and just practiced breathing. The breathing allowed me to unwind a bit and I began to feel at peace. When my knees grew weary, I went back to my presentation position. How long I sat there, I am unsure, but when he opened the door, I could not help myself but look up. Teacher looked shocked to see me as such, as he did not request me to do so. He put his keys down, and crouched down to my level, and lifted my head up by the chin and kissed me. Immediately I started sobbing. It was one of those moments where my submission felt tactile, real.
"What is wrong X?"
"I...," I stammered through the tears "I don't know."
Honestly at that second, I was unsure myself. He led me to my room. I hugged on him for a long time, feeling so safe against my baby's chest. "I guess I felt like I disappointed you, not being available." He laughed. I told him the truth, how I had turned off the phone and why. He knows how I feel, and how I obsess about things, so I think he understood. I am such a stereotypical emotional woman at times it makes me want to puke. It ended up that he had a very rough day, and that is why he sounded so weary when we had spoken.

So we hung out for a long time smoking and talking, oh yes, he loved the boots! Then I remembered what I had hanging amongst my belts. "Ooh, I have something to show you!" I wiggled my way over to the closet,"I got something new to review. It is called a "Viper's Tongue" and I added my own snake hiss sound-effect that was more amusing than sexy. "I'm going to need your opinion as well since you'll be wielding it, not me."

I handed it to him, and silly me since he didn't have his case with him, I just assumed he'd probably take a few swings and we'd really use it another time. So I got myself on all fours and stuck out my ass for him to test out the Viper's Tongue. Before I go on, I must note that since we've met I've only experienced a leather flogger a few times as his stuff had been stolen not long after we started my lessons, so really most of my leather/flesh experience has been from the riding crop.

So my ass is out and I have no idea what to expect. The few initial swats at my tush were tolerable, but quickly went to me feeling like my ass was on fire. Back and forth, back and forth, up and down my tender bottom and back. Oh I was cussing up a storm, it hurt so fucking much I was pulling my own hair. At some point I grabbed an adjacent pillow and started biting into it. One day I wish to not have thin walls and nosy neighbors so I can honestly scream! He paused for a second and I though "Whew, thank God" and then he started again. I was kicking my feet like a little kid who just got punished, and I kind of felt like one as well. There was another pause and Teacher started again,but this time with his bare hands. My ass sort of was numb, but not if that makes one iota of sense, because as he laid the blows on my ass it started to feel like I was getting pummeled by his fist (I asked him later on, he wasn't). Just as I started getting used to the hands, damn if Teacher didn't switch back to the Viper's Tongue. "You're getting some great marks." I have never used my safe word with Teacher, and I came close.

As my back was to him, I was unable to see that he had cock had hardened. So he slapped down the leather to my own hide again and again, and occasionally running his fingernails down the redness, and I'm thinking of yelling for mercy when he put the flogger down long enough to pull me back onto his hard dick.

Apparently I was so focused on the blows, that I didn't realize that the rest of my body was reacting as well, because the minute his cock entered my cunt, it contracted and grasped onto his thickness and I instantly shuddered with orgasm. Teacher continued to thrust into me, balls deep, all the while flogging my oh so sore bottom! I had never felt anything like it before. Thrust, thwack. It was also a major mindfuck. One millisecond I'm overcome with arousal, and then next blip of time I'm overcome with pain. Every nerve in my body was on red alert and as Teacher took his final thrusts before shooting his load inside me, I too was groaning with yet another orgasm.

Not one to leave me alone, Teacher withdrew his cock, and using the cum that was dripping out of my pussy he started rubbing on my clit, it was already so engorged it was almost painful when he laid his finger upon it. Teacher knows my sweet spots, but last night I developed a new one, it was directly under my clit, neither right nor left, and it gentle upward strokes, this sub was writhing around as soaking cunt drenched his hands. Even as I laid down next to Teacher, I still shuddered with orgasms that were pending in the que.

When all was said and done, I reached over to feel the damage done, nice thick dotty welts where strewn across my skin. Yet again I had reached a new level in my submissiveness to Teacher. I did what came naturally, to be there prepared for him. He did not need ask, I did what I did because that is what I am to do. Not to mention, I hit new heights on the pain and pleasure scale.

I have yet to post my review for the Viper's Tongue, but I can promise you guys it will be most definitely positive.

Update: Most importantly I forgot to add that today, I could barely walk.

This and That

*For a month now I've been eyeing a particular pair of boots waiting for them to get marked down and I am wearing them now and utterly turning myself on. Their knee high, black leather, high heeled and corset style lace up the back. I don't think I fetishize footwear, but there are some things that get my nipples perk up and my cunt wet the minute I put my feet into them, and these are as such. Teacher, I am sure, will appreciate me wearing them, I'm certain. I'll post pictures soon.

*A link I submitted to Fleshbot was posted and a guaranteed laugh. Welcome Fleshbot readers, btw.

*Today I received a new flogger to review for EdenFantasys and I can't wait to put it into Teacher's hands to smack my ass around. I spent a good five minutes after opening the box whipping the pillows on my bed. Silly, I know, but I enjoyed myself. There are benefits to living alone. I must say it was a great way to get my agressions out after a long work week, do you Doms out there ever think of stuff pissing you off when you flog your subs? "And this one if for the fucking mortgage company...and this is for the goddamned asshole who hit my car..."

*While being grilled by Dr. Fuckedinthehead today I realized that Teacher has provided me with much better therapy than she has, even though his medical credentials are no more worthy than Dr. Phil's. Last night as I got paddled I caught myself growling and grunting, like releasing anger whereas I usually moan and whimper. The catharsis that BDSM has provided me, truly, has been unbelievable.

Shackled

I'm one of those people who laugh at inappropriate times. Besides that, it never fails, a song will pop into my head when it is not the most opportune time.

Tonight Teacher was locking my new wrists cuffs together and damn if a song I used to rollerskate to in jr. high popped into my head "Shackles,"complete with vocoder effects and I just lost it. Lucky for me he's good humored, because we started out pretty heavy, with me in position, naked waiting for his arrival. So as he is locking my wrists together I tried to remember the words "Shackles on my feet won't let me dance..." Not really that appropriate either. Oh but the fun didn't stop there, so he's holding me, my arms are above my head and he starts kissing on my breasts and moving down my torso and his mustache turned into the most intense tickler ever! My cracking up had him cracking up and attempting to tickle me again.

Somehow we got back into the groove though, it wasn't too hard once he held his hand against my windpipe and I was gasping for air. It was obvious that he had retained control. Mind you I had just told him of this freak I read about today in the news who chopped up and ate his girlfriend. Miss Overactive Imagination here was wondering if he thought I'd be good with some salt and pepper.

I was back in my favorite position for him to spank me, which is almost a spooning position. I lay on my side, with my ass facing him, one of his arms is around me and the other one is free to wallop my hide. When we lay lie this, I almost instantly fall into subspace. As he lays on the blows, I hold onto his arm like it is the handlebar on a rollercoaster. Safe is how I feel under the crook of his arm. It is the weird juxtaposition of being both in pain and comfortable that allows me to slide away.

He roused me from my state with several spanks to my pussy, and then started pulling down on my labia. My pussy bat wings. Ha! Still all snuggly next to him I let him poke and probe me, I felt like a beautiful fuckdoll for him to explore. Soon enough his fingers were right on g-spot central and was ramming against his hand with his knee which was oddly intense, then he moved to my clit, moving it between his fingers like a pearl and bringing out some new sounds I didn't know I had the capacity to make.

Sated, I crawled down to his hard cock and put it my mouth, working the shaft with both my tongue and hand. It seemed like so long since I had given Teacher head, that I put all my effort into it, taking as much of him in as I could all the awhile gagging, gasping and drooling. Teary-eyed I got up for some air and he flipped me over on my side and started banging the ever living shit out of me. I love to feel him cum inside me, the initial explosion and subsequent shock waves. Likewise, I like to feel his cum spill out of me, down my legs as we lay there enjoying our blissful states.

I think I'll sleep like a baby tonight.

All Tied Up and No Where To Go

Last night Teacher and I moved venues to a motel, just to change things up. Unbeknown to me, he was feeling sickly, but he knew I was looking forward to spending New Years Eve with him, and he wasn't going to let me know. I'm the hypochondriac in this couple. Anyway, he managed to give at least myself a memorable evening before the ball dropped. He'll be paid back kindly in blow jobs.

He told me just to wear jeans and a sweater, but underneath I wore a black garter belt, stockings with the line up the back, and a black bustier. Not to mention my "cripplers in which I still have not mastered walking.

We got settled in the room and he started unpacking his tools and toys. I laid on my stomach and watched him take each item out. Rope. Check. Clothespins. Check. Vibrators. Check. Lube. Check. Paddle-a new one. Check. Ball Gag. Check. Big fucking humongous bowie knife. WTF!

As I've mentioned before, we've included knife play in our scenes but the previous implements were not even remotely as threatening as this hunk of steel. "What the hell are you doing with a knife like that?!" Teacher is fully armed from bats to bullets, but yet he always seems to find something to freak me out. While it is not this exact knife, it is damn close. He proceeded to lay the cool blade on my chest. Oh, I knew what he had in mind. But it just looked like what it was, something to rip the guts out of some unlucky person. He proceeded to show me ways to hide it, flipped it around, and basically got me pretty scared. I didn't grow up around weaponry, so the mere sight of it gives me the heebie jeebies.

"We've played with knifes before X," he said looking me straight in the eyes.
"I know." I whimpered.

"You know you are always safe with me."
I didn't answer.

"That look you gave me doesn't seem like you're too confident in that."
"Well..." I laughed it off, but in all honestly, I can't shake the fear of that he may snap and gore the ever living shit out of me, leaving me a bloody, lifeless, carcass. Of course, that fear is half the purpose of him bringing that damn thing along with him.

Next, He showed me the newest paddle he made, which was a bit smaller, yet sturdier than the prototype he used on me last week. It is the normal paddle shape, but there all sorts of holes drilled into it.

Between seeing the knife and paddle, I was already breathless. I has been a few weeks since we've truly played hard. I felt like I was back at square one, any remnant jadedness went out the window and I returned back to what I am--sub nouveau. I must not forget it.

Bondage, oh how I love thee. I was excited to see my ropey friends and offered my hands with no struggle. As the knot was secured, I felt instantly a lot happier than I did when I had walked in the motel room door. The more and more I experience it, it becomes apparent that being restrained is my favorite type of BDSM play. I know part of it is because for so long, I have felt out of control. I've often joked that "I need to be put in a cage." Well I've never meant that literally in the past, and actually I'm not over anxious to be caged, but the ropes serve the same purpose. I like those reigns pulled in on me (unlike Linda Ronstadt.)

Teacher rolled me over onto my stomach and tied my ankles together and then rolled me back with my face up. Bliss. A leather blindfold was put over my eyes. The gag I guess got lost in the mix, but that was OK.

He started gently, kissing my face, stroking my hair, and then pulled down the bustier to reveal my breasts. Upon each exposed breasts, he yanked the nipples taut and applied a clothespin.

Teacher started flicking the pins back and forth with what I quickly learned was the big knife. Click, clack, click, clack. Each tap made my nipples sting. I was chewing my lip. My fear of the knife did not wane whatsoever, so when the chunky Bowie knife was pressed, flat side down on my ribcage I immediately gasped. He traced the knife then across my lips so I could feel the thick serrations and then slowly down tracing my throat, down across my torso, down to my pussy where he flicked my labia with the dull, but still cold edge. I tried to hold still, but I was trembling.

He positioned me across his knee and with little warm up, started spanking the shit out of me with the plastic handle of a flyswatter he once used on me, sans the long lost swatter. He's usually good about starting off slowly, but in retrospect I think it was because he felt like ass. My ass felt like it had never been spanked before and I was screeching and moaning, apparently so much so I heard a knock from the room adjacent to us. Cheap motel. Thin walls.

He moved me from his knee back on the bed. I was face down with my ass up. He then switched over to his bare hands rotating from cheek to cheek, and automatically I was chewing my arm and my pillow. I started to drift off but then the fucking goddamn room phone rang, and rang, and rang, ultimately throwing us off for a few minutes. Of course there was no one there. I was highly irritated, as I was in throes of punishment.

Getting back to business, Teacher took out that evil fucking paddle. EVIL. That piece of wood is possessed by the devil, I swear. This time he started out a bit slower, but I was yelping immediately. This tender tucas couldn't take it. I bit into the pillow, I scratched on Teacher's arm, I caught myself drooling. This thing was intensely painful. Once again I started to drift, and bang, he hit this one extra tender part that made me scream, but not for mercy. I was intent on taking my punishment, my tied feet kicking as much as possible.

The paddle was put down, and then he scratched down my ass with his fingernails. You'd think this would feel good, but it was fucking intensely painful. He doesn't have creepy long nails, but there was enough that I could feel them. Then he resumed the paddling. This time I started to drift off for real.

I don't know where I got the idea, but I just assumed that subspace was the same each time. Apparently, and I confirmed this with Teacher, it is not. So while in the past I've been very much at peace through my pain, this time I was a bit more anxious and my mind was all over the place.

Still, I was able to get into the rhythm enough that something amazing happened that had never happened to me before from being spanked. I felt like I was going to orgasm.

"I think I'm going to cum" I panted out to Teacher.

"You probably will" he said, or something akin to that. I know realize I shouldn't have said anything as that threw me off focus. I generally need to focus hard to cum, but this was the opposite so I was utterly shocked, and yet I fucking ruined it!

The spanking continued for awhile longer, along with some more scratching and then I heard the whirl of the G-spotter. He burrowed the purple toy between my now pretty hairy little pussy that was still accessible, even though my legs were tied.

Wielding the purple beast, it was no too long before I was a hot little orgasmic mess. Not being able to move my legs made it even more intense. Who knows how many times I came before I ultimately collapsed. All I know was intensely satiated.

As I said in the beginning my poor Dom was on the cusp of virus city, so the antics pretty much ended there.

Walking to the elevator later on I realized how swollen my butt was. "I'm going to have to sit on a pillow all day tomorrow!!" I declared, but I most certainly was not complaining. It was much more pleasant to wake up with a sore ass, than a hangover on New Years Day!

picture from whipped ass

(ps. i know i fucked up "nowhere" but when i changed it, it screwed up the url & many sites have linked here.bad spelling vs. bad linking. a difficult choice)

Blissed Out

"When you get home I want you to do the following," Teacher told me as we finished up the last drops of our wine, "first of all, do you have any other big earrings other than hoops?"
"I think so, I'll have to go through my jewelry box."
"Wear some for me." He has a thing for big earrings, a fetish that is easy to manage, "Then I want you to take all your clothing of except for heels..."
"Are my boots OK?" I was wearing tall 5 inch black leather boots that clung to my legs like a pair of gloves.
"Yes. Also I want you to find some music you'd like to hear and put that on." That sounds easy but my idea of good music involves Marshall stacks and his involves a harpsichord. "Also, no light except your candles." I have a little makeshift altar on my dresser of various candles, from smelly votives to ones involving Jesus.
"OK" All this was a non-issue for me
"Take out the red box and put it on the edge of you bed." This is the box of our various toys,ropes,and other sexual accouterments.
"I will call you on my way over, I will give you enough time to unlock your door. You are to be waiting for me in your kneeing position."
"No problem."
We left the restaurant, he went to take care of some bs, and I went home and scrambled around for some music. I like Slayer, Teacher likes Bach. I settled on Roxy Music's "Avalon." You can't get sexier or smoother than some Bryan Ferry. I lit my candles, peeled my dress off, but fresh batteries in my vibrators and waited, and waited. I am the world's most impatient woman. I even found some pretty blue glass bead earrings to wear for him.
After what seemed forever Teacher called me. "I'm about 5 minutes away."

I went and unlocked my door.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I pretty much live in the proverbial hood. I am also very much a scaredy cat.

My apartment was dark, except for my candles, I managed my way back to my room, and got into position, kneeling, sitting on my feet, my legs spread and my palms upturned on either thigh. My head was down.

The longer I was in position, the more vulnerable I felt. I imagined someone other than Teacher walking in on me. I lock my door even to take out my garbage 15 feet away from my door, so this is something I always fear. Teacher knows that about me. A

Bathed in the glow of the candles, I felt more naked than nude. I was there for the taking. I knew in my heart that it would be Teacher coming into the room, but my mind was racing.

The door creaked, my heart started to race. I heard the footsteps coming towards my room. I was instructed to advert my gaze, so I only knew by sneaking a quick look that yes, it was Teacher in my room.

My body erupted into goosebumps as I heard him get his stuff together, at this point I was feeling very much my submissive self. He leaned down into me and kissed my neck. My feet were falling asleep underneath me, the heels of my boots digging into the flesh of my buttocks. Still, I was determined to present myself as requested.

While he did not ask me to, I closed my eyes. I am a notorious fidget, and I knew if I didn't keep my eyes closed, I would not be able to get into the right head space where I could keep myself from squirming.

In the darkness there is no time, so I don't know how long I was waiting before I felt Teacher's hand come around my neck, pulling my head towards his mouth to kiss my throat.

Still in position, he placed a leather blindfold over my already closed eyes. He tied my hands behind my back with rope and walked away. I heard him rustle around, I didn't know what was going to come next.

Every tiny hair on my body stood up as the tiny strand of leather on top of his crop trickled up and down my back, and broke out into small smacks. He kneeled behind me, lifted my blindfold, and then brought the crop in front of me to see him play my body like it was a violin, slowly wielding the leather across my breasts and around my nipples. The music that emitted was small moans from mouth and drops of wetness from my cunt.

Pulling the blindfold back down, I was escorted to another part of the room, made to bend over to accept the leather bound strikes across my ass and back. I am so accustomed to his bare handed spankings that the sting of the leather always gives me a bit of a shock. Wincing, I accepted each swat with an exhale trying to work through the pain.

My legs were willingly pushed apart by small swats of the crop, I felt myself lower my pussy so it too could be smacked all the while knowing the pain on my tender labia is the hardest to bear. Each snap made me want to crumble, but I still wanted more, but that was not to be, as the crop was laid down and Teacher worked his thick finger right into my wet cunt immediately going straight for my throbbing vaginal sponge. A master of the g-spot, he had me instantly writhing into an orgasm instantaneously. As one who has historically had a rough time getting off, this was yet another breakthrough. Perhaps if all my previous lovers had been so skilled and attentive as Teacher is with my body, then this orgasm would have been old hat, but that was not the case.

Barely catching my breath, he then inserted his cock into my pussy that was still pulsing from cumming. With each thrust, I pushed my ass back towards him so he could feel the warmth of the pain he inflicted upon me. I turned into a bit of a little beast, and could not stop myself from biting him partially as an outlet of my pleasure, and subsequently marking my territory. "X was here." He repeated the favor, and we bit and clawed at one another until he came inside me, both of us collapsing with pleasure.

My blindfold was still intact, but I was able to find my way to lay my head upon Teacher's belly. He stroked my hair, and I nodded off in a state of bliss.

photo, and more hot photos from sex & submission

VU

I can't be for certain that  Initally learned about BDSM from the Velvet Underground, but I most definitely gleaned a bit of knowledge about it from my interest in the band and before that Andy Warhol.

I first got turned on to them in High School while reading one of my all time favorite books "Edie," for a big report I did on Andy Warhol. Subsquently I had to look up other stuff, "who are the Marquise de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch?" and "what is a femme fatale," and why the fuck would anyone do heroin?

I was a total art fag in college (dead milkmen reference, anyone?anyone?), and I recall having a postcard of the book that inspired the song "Venus in Furs" over my dorm room bed. Still, I am unsure if I really "got" it.  I think I just knew it that S&M was dark and deviant. I am not that old, but damn when there was no internet zooming information into my home, you actually had to make an effort to obtain information.

So here I am many years later looking through the eyes of a submissive in training, and damn if I keep finding the obvious that has been in my life for eons. Just the other day I was riflig through my music collection to pick something to listen to on the way to work and the first Velvet Underground & Nico album was there under the dusty jewel cases. The one with the infamous banana cover.

For those of you who are not familar with the Velvet Underground, they were a highly influential band formed in the mid sixties and were part of the whole Warhol "Factory" crowd. For more on them here is a brief history. Below are a few videos:


Venus in Furs



and because no one is sexier than Nico (R.I.P.)

Femme Fatale

The Perfect Implement of Pain

One of my favorite comedy bits is from Dennis Leary. The schtick is how "being a pothead turns you into a fucking carpenter." Well being a Dom apparently makes you a fucking carpenter, leather craftsman, welder, iron smith, and any other craft that was once run by guildsmen.

My Master, Teacher, had always been one to fiddle around with carpentry, but generally to fix stuff around the house, when I came into his life his focus changed. His workshop became headquarters for his burgeoning custom paddle and cane business. He no longer wanted to work on household repairs, but rather work on championing the cause of damaging tender asses across the globe.

Above his worktable was a bulletin board covered with letters and email print-outs of praise from his customers. Knowing that he helped a fellow Dom mark his sub was a source of pride and motivation to create even more painful implements. But, as it is inevitable in the business world, there is always at least one disgruntled customer. His unsatisfied Dom was a certain man I will call "Master Lucas."

Master Lucas' gripe was that his cane was not properly balanced, which prevented him from having a clean swing on his sub's flesh. Teacher found this highly unnerving, as one of his quality control points was to ensure that the canes were entirely level. I'd often see him out in his workshop peering down the edge of a freshly made cane like it he was a pool shark choosing the most perfect cue stick. Twice he accepted returns from Master Lucas and sent him replacement canes. The third return, though, that was another story.

"Jesus Christ X," he sighed when he accepted the package from the UPS man, "I'm certain this guy is either the most anal retentive Dom ever or he's in dire need of a caning himself." Knowing that it was wise to steer clear of Teacher while was pissed, I went to the kitchen to go make us some dinner. Somehow, I knew my own ass was going to get the wrath Teacher wanted to lay on Master Lucas. Thinking about this, I smiled as prepped our food.

That evening as I was finishing clearing up our dinner table, and getting ready to make Teacher an aperitif, he instructed me to go to shower.

"Go get beautiful for me X," he said, "well rather, extra beautiful my darling. I want you to put on the leather corset I bought you for your birthday along with your black stockings, and those heels of yours, the 6 inch black ones with the red soles."
I was tempted to ask "How come?" but I never questioned his commands, nor did I ever mind getting gussied up for him. Just putting on the corset itself could take me one quarter of the way to subspace. "When you are finished with your girly stuff, please return yourself to me and I expect you in position."
"Yes, Teacher."

I took my time preparing myself, luckily Teacher is one of those rare men who do not question the time a woman takes getting ready, in fact he finds in a yet another factor in what makes women such intriguing little creatures. "It is a lot more fun to punish my X when I can see the streams of tears exaggerated by her mascara. I find it highly erotic to see my slut's face smeared with her lipstick after I've forced my cock in her throat." It is another tangible way to see his work, just like rope marks, welts, and bruises. Knowing this pleased me as well.

Obeying his request, I presented myself to Teacher as he sat in his favorite burgundy leather chair, a classic masculine piece of furniture. He was not a La-Z-boy kind of guy, being neither lazy nor a boy.

"Tonight X, I have a special task for you. I do not expect any arguments as this does not violate any of your hard limits, but it is something you have never experienced. You are to do as told and know that this task is not only very important, but will be proof of my skilled training and will in essence effect my reputation. You, X, as my sub are representative of me."
I was quite puzzled as to what the hell was going on. It had been awhile since we went over my limit list, and some of my "yes" answers had escaped memory. Still, I was ready to do what ever was requested of me.

"X, bow down, with your head to the floor, your hands clasped behind your back and your ass facing me." I arranged myself as told, feeling the threads of the oriental rug scratch my forehead and the cool air of the ceiling fan pass over my exposed ass. I heard Teacher walk away, out of the room with his footsteps getting fainter. Then as always after many minutes that seemed like an eternity the footsteps became louder and I felt his presence over me.
"Take a deep breath X, I want you to prepare yourself for a long evening."
"Yes Teacher."I inhaled and exhaled into the rug, thinking I was glad he did not have any cats. I sighed out loud when he put my leather cuffs on my wrists and clasped them together. Being bound always allowed me to relax.
"X, the cane I am about to use on you is the most perfect one I've ever created. Rather all my cane craft is perfect. I took extra measures with this particular cane to ensure that there is nary a flaw. The only thing more perfect in the universe, my little girl, is your divine ass that is aching to be beat and fucked." With the last words barely out of his mouth, he started tapping on my ass cheeks, which felt more vulnerable than ever before.

First he was on my left side, using his perfect tool to inflict small starter taps. These were the taps that always for some reason fooled me into thinking I was going to be able to handle the inevitable pain without a wince. There was no medium in-between taps at all. In fact from the small pats things quickly change, down came down a huge blow that sent a rocket of pain up my spine, which exploded projecting stars behind my closed eyelids. I had no time to recover before the next wallop was administered. I wished Teacher had restrained me to the ground somehow because it was increasingly harder to not squirm myself down the rug, which I knew was not a good thing as it could cause him to miss his mark and ultimately inflict unwanted damage.
"X," he spoke as yet another strike knocked the breath out of me, "This cane which I am now going to inflict pain onto your exposed asshole, cunt and thighs..."
Thwack! My poor anus!
"is a masterful tool. Not unlike the swords that were crafted for the ancient Samurai, this cane is for only the most highly skilled Doms. To be used by a lesser creature would to be a shameful thing."
Thwack! Oh my poor tender labia, no amount of hair could shield the sting of this cane
"Only a complete moron would not realize the beauty of the way this implement strikes flesh, the way it cuts through the air almost silently, how it has just the right amount of give.."
Whack! Fuck you Master Lucas!
The pain started to dissipate, and Teacher's words started to fade away. I was on the cusp of sliding to my little happy world when he laid the cane in front of me and rubbed my back, rousing me from la-la land.
"Do not go away my darling sub, there is more in store," he told me as he removed the cuffs."stand up."
I clumsily made my way from the carpet to my two feet to find Teacher standing in front of me with a glass of ice water and an envelope. He handed the glass to me.
"Drink this" I gladly accepted and thought of what a sweet Dom he was as I guzzled it down.
"See this envelope X?" he waved a off-white envelope, which I knew was from his personal stationary. It even had a red wax seal on the back. I was elated to see he had used the monogrammed seal I had given him for his birthday.
"Yes, Teacher."
"You are to deliver this envelope for me."
"To whom"
"Master Lucas"
"Master Lucas, Master Lucas?" I repeated the name in disbelief.
"Yes. You are to remain in his presence when he opens the envelope. You also are to follow the instructions enclosed as he directs you to. Do you hear me?"
"Yes Teacher."

Teacher had never sent me to another Dom, in fact, we had only played with another couple one time and that was more of a vanilla swap. In retrospect I think I was more nervous about how Master Lucas would look, smell, and act. What if he has only three teeth, no neck, a mullet and weighs 400 lbs? If he were sending me to a Domme I would be happily excited, but this was terrifying. I felt comfortable in my trust that Teacher would not send me into a dangerous situation, so I was mostly worried this guy would smell like a petting zoo. Shallow? Perhaps, but it was a lot easier for me to fixate on that then the possibility that Master Lucas would go all Ed Gein on my ass. I did not want to end up being made into a lampshade.

"I will be out in the car the entire time X." He must have sensed my fear, "If you don't leave the house in one hour he'll be meeting my friends Smith and Wesson." I love it when he's so macho! Being an old-fashioned type of woman, feeling protected like that makes me very, very hot. I kneeled down in front of him and reached for Teachers zipper. I wanted to show him my adoration, and my submission.
"Oh X, you are such a good girl." Unearthing his hard cock from his pants, I put it in my mouth. Working the shaft with my tongue, I felt the head of his prick working it's way to my throat. Rotating his cock in my buccal cavity deftly with my tongue, I relaxed my muscles enabling his thickness down into my head. To avoid choking I imagining my throat was a pussy. I released and contracted my throat muscles around his cock. He tugged on my hair, bringing my face closer to him. I could smell his arousal through his sweat. As he reached the edge of orgasm, I felt his cock start pulsing, his grip on my hair became harder, and he started roughly fucking my mouth. He emitted a loud groan as he came and a hot stream of jizz shot into my mouth. I savored Teacher's taste as I let it trickle down my throat.

Sated, he zipped up, instructed me to go fix my hair and makeup. When I emerged from the bathroom he was at the door for me with my long, black trench coat. "No need to wear anything else X."

Master Lucas lived in an adjacent city in our metropolis that was about 30 miles away. Our ride to his home was a silent one, except I did inquire as to if Master Lucas was aware of our intent to visit. "Well my sweet sub, he is actually only expecting me."

Oh shit. This is going to be very interesting, I thought to myself.

We pulled up into a nondescript subdivision in front of your typical generic suburban American home--two car garage jutting out further than the main part of the house, two stories, a sprinkling of trees, white siding with blue shutters, and one of those stupid flags with a Labrador Retriever. Certainly not the scary ramshackle home I had imagined. Granted, all I knew of Master Lucas was that he was a pain in the ass customer.

"X. You are to go knock on his door, inform him you are there on my behalf. Then hand him the envelope. Please tell him to open it up and read it in front of you. As I told you earlier, I'll be sitting here in the car." I was sweating. "Also, I need you to give this to him as well." He reached into the backseat and handed me a long box.

I was trembling, and I was having one of those "what the fuck have I gotten myself into moments," moments that materialize with increased frequency since I've become a sub. Rarely have I been disappointed. Still, this was definitely a lot intimidating to me than the time Teacher shoved a ginger root up my ass and made me stand still with a pile of books on my head or fucked me with icicles as I laid naked, in broad daylight, in two feet of snow. When I am with him I always know in the end all will be fine.

Somehow I managed to make it to Master Lucas' door without hyperventilating. I rang the bell, and fantasized about ripping down that stupid flag and wiping my ass with it. "Coming" I heard him holler as he approached the door. As he opened it, I could tell he was not expecting a woman, much less one in six inch heels, red lips, a long coat holding an envelope. Master Lucas, I am happy to say had all his teeth, in fact, they were a perfect set of chompers. He was about 45, 6ft tall, light brown short but tousled hair. He was dressed to match his surroundings in a golf shirt and Dockers. Not my type, but definitely a decent looking guy. He also seemed to smell more of laundry soap instead of petting zoo.

"I am here on behalf of my Master Teacher," I told Master Lucas as he took in the vision of me,"he has requested that you read what is enclosed in this envelope in my presence."
"Is he here?"
"Yes, he is" He looked out to the driveway, as did I and Teacher's car was not there. I was freaking out, but I was not going to say as such.
"Where?"
"Oh, um he went to go get a pack of cigarettes." I was hoping that was the case.
"Well let's see what is in this envelope," why don't you come in.
"Uh, no. I was told for you to read it before I do anything."
"Wow, what an obedient sub you appear to be," he sniffed.
He tore open the envelope, scanned the letter, and then read it aloud to me.

Dear Master Lucas,

As a craftsman, I find it horribly frustrating that you have been repeatedly unsatisfied with my craftsmanship. If these canes were not items made with my own sweat and tears, I would have not have dealt with you any further after your first return. Instead, I have taken your dissatisfaction with my canes as a challenge. While I did not see anything wrong at all, quite the contrary, with the previous canes you purchased, I have decided to take this opportunity to craft such a cane that is beyond any you, nor anyone has had the pleasure of wielding. If, you are still unsatisfied with the cane I am delivering to you via my sub "X" I will then suggest you take your business elsewhere.

Before you make any decisions about this new cane, I would like to request that you do the following. Do note that X has come her consensually and is aware she is to follow the instructions below:

1. Please inspect the cane marks I have inflicted upon X approximately two hours ago.
2. X is to show you the various marks on her ass, thighs, upper back, cunt, asshole, and breasts. as you will see that these are not your ordinary cane welts. Even the tiniest flick of this cane will leave a dent in the thickest of skin. X, like many subs, appreciates the artwork that is left behind after a scene. You, too I expect will be very impressed.
3. After the inspection, I would like to offer you the opportunity to try out the implement on my sub. Since she is currently highly marked, along with the cane I've included a jar of ink. If you so desire to see the marks you, yourself have left on her, you have my permission to wipe the cane down with the ink prior to using it. If you chose to keep the cane, I will cover the cane in black lacquer if you so desire.
4. X is to be standing upright when you cane her. With her arms above her head the entire time. I've included her gag in the box, as she is a loud slut. She too is a squirmy slut, but it is not my desire to have her bound for this trial.
5. If upon reading this you do not wish to try out the cane, please return X and the box back to the car and I will consider our business done.
6. If you do decide after trying out the cane that is the best cane you have ever used, please escort X back to my car as well and we will discuss both the behavior of the cane as well as my sub. I am confident you will love this cane, but if it so happens that you do not, please refer to number 5.

I expect to have a resolution to this situation within the hour.

Regards,
Master Teacher
Crandon Canes, Inc.

That sounded reasonable enough, and I was grateful Teacher did not ask him to fuck me, but then he didn't mention that he shouldn't' fuck me either. Master Lucas had already proven to be an asshole so I was not certain he'd respect Teacher's wishes.

"Well it sounds like your Master is pretty damn certain his cane is the best. I didn't think his other ones were so great, so I have my doubts" he said in a bitchy tone, "but, you seem to be quite a beautiful specimen X, and I am going to take this opportunity to try out your Master's canes, if anything just so I can see you naked." He leered at me and I felt like a piece of meat. He waved my way into his house. "He's quite a big shot your Master is, isn't he?" Master Lucas said as he locked the door behind him. Motherfucker was testing me. I was not going to say anything negative about Teacher!
"No, he is not. He is a very brilliant man."
"Well you are loyal little sub, please follow me to my playroom, he must be a very lucky man."
I smirked and followed him down a carpeted hallway with pictures of what must have been his children. I did not see any pictures of an apparent wife, yet by the flowery decor of the house there had definitely been one in the overall picture. "Those are my kids. I divorced the frigid bitch that is their mother just a few months ago."
"Oh." Great, a dude in the midst of his misogynistic anger phase about to spank my ass. That day my role was apparently "human whipping post."

Master led me into his playroom, which was entirely different than the rest of the joint. "This used to be my ex-wife's sewing and craft room, but once the cunt left I decided it was time to make it mine," he said with obvious lingering hatred of the ex-wife. The room was painted a crimson red with black trim. In one corner was a metal cage, in the other a black leather recliner with a leopard skin rug the covered the floor. It looked more "early whorehouse" than dark scary dungeon. While it was not a complete set-up there was plenty of room to hold a spanking bench, a small day bed, some random toys and oodles of floggers, whips and paddles hanging from the walls. One thing I did note was that there were no canes. Very interesting.
"So X, has Master Teacher shared you with many men?"
"No." I didn't want to let him know I was the first as to make him feel special.
"Interesting, especially since you appear to be filthy little whore. Remove your coat and stand as requested with your hands up in the air." I removed my coat and he admired my body in the leather corset, boobs heaving, waist nipped.
"As much as I love a woman in a corset, I wish to have you undress entirely to see this magnificent handiwork I was told about."
Undressed, I stood in position. Naked, and feeling pretty damn humiliated to be in this situation, I found myself getting turned on, the juices in my pussy started to flow lubricating the inside of my thighs. Master Lucas remained in his suburban garb. I watched him open the box. This guy was such a dickhead I honestly was not happy that he even remotely aroused any pleasure out of me.

Inside the box was a smaller leather case. Master Lucas lifted the lid of the case to reveal the cane which was lying on a bed of purple velvet like a precious jewel. I had never seen Teacher pack the canes as such. He wasn't fucking around, of that I was certain.

Master Lucas held the cane in his hand and just like teacher he eyed the length of it, holding it parallel to the length of his arm. He held it between two fingers and watched it wobble. He sliced it through the air. Whatever you could do with a cane besides hit someone, he did. He ignored me the entire time and I felt my body get sore as I waited. Oh how wanted to put my arms down, but I feared the worst if I did. I was there on behalf of Teacher and I was not going to fail him.

Finally, he finished fiddling with the cane and laid it back down in it's velvet cushion. He came over to me and looked me up and down, finally settling on my eyes. Not removing his gaze he said, "Well X, let me admire these spectacular marks I have heard about." He moved from my eyes down to my exposed breasts. He ran his finger from my neck down the crevice between them. Following the fresh abrasions like a map, he traced a thick red welt that Teacher had left behind on my right breast crossing the entirely of my chest. While he grazed his fingers across my breasts, I felt both my nipples become erect. I could not look down due to my stance, but I know from experience the skin was puckered and turned from its normal light brown to a more pinkish brown hue. "This is very nice X, and my you have some nice cans."
Cans? I winced, this guy was obviously a frat boy at some point. Go figure. I always hated those conformist assholes, these were the guys who automatically saw my rock'n'roll attire and large tits and assumed I was a cheap slut. Somehow their asshole demeanor did tempt me, but I never took it as an opportunity, but moreso as a blow to my ego. I was only a slut for certain people, and those were people who did respect me beyond my cunt.
From my breasts he found his way down my belly, to my pussy. He ran his finger through the hair, stopping to rub his finger not only the two welts that had formed on my upper mound, but to graze my clit. I moaned just a little. But once again, I did not want him to thinkI was enjoying his inspection. After all I was there for him to only look at Teacher's markings. "You've quite a little nub there X. Very hot. I prefer my women shaved, but to each his own." He lifted his fingers to smell my fragrance and smiled.
From my cunt, he circled around me like I was a statue to see the stripes on my ass, thighs, and back. Their laid the red ribbons that truly showed the master craftmanship of both the cane and of Teacher's might. Shiny, puffy and raw, they appeared at first glance to be huge keloid scars. I heard Master Lucas mutter something to himself, but all I made out was "mmmm.."
"I was told you were smacked on your asshole X." I'm going to need to spread your legs out a bit more to see this" I did as told. He pulled either cheek apart roughly. A shockwave of pain spread from the epicenter of the mother of all canings. There in the valley between either buttock was one humongous red stripe that ran up and down, it's pain had apparently had been delayed, because as I was widened for inspection I had to gasp for air, it was like my pulse had moved straight to my anus. To make matters worse, Master Lucas thought it would be good to retrace the line stopping to shove his rather large finger inside without warning. He didn't leave it there very long, but I heard him chuckle as I cried "Ow!"
"You like pain, I'm certain you slut, look at you," he hissed into my ear.

He went back to the case and removed both the ink jar and the cane. I was never into messy play, but I had no choice.

Master Lucas unrolled a large plastic tarp and instructed me to stand on top of it. My arms were numb from holding them up for so long, pins and needles started to erupt. "You stay here you pretty bitch, I'll be right back." He left the room and came back wearing plastic gloves, a black t-shirt and pants. "I can't mess up my good clothes." Ha! to me any clothes in black were my good clothes. I longed to shake out the pain of my limbs, but I chose to work through it no matter how excruitating.

Master Lucas saturated the cane with the ink, letting the excess run into a pile of newspapers he had brought in for the purpose.

"So this will be the test of this cane. It is obvious that your Master has some impressive work on his sub. I need to be certain that was not merely from his brute strength, but via this cane he thinks is the shit. You see X, I was not there to witness his work, how I am to know he did not use something else. Did he?"
"No."
"How do I not know you are not only a snotty bitch of a slut, but a liar as well.?"
"I am not a liar Master Lucas."
"We shall see, won't we."


This guy was just not going to let it go.

"Kiss the cane"
"Wha."
"Kiss the cane." Now I would normally kiss the cane for Teacher as a sign of submission to him, but this honestly confused me. Was I still submitting to him by kissing the cane for Master Lucas, or was I getting Master Lucas' rocks off? I decided since I was there to show how wonderful Teacher's work was and I, too, was his work, that I should kiss the implement he created with his own hands out of respect.
Kiss the cane, quick as it was left me looking like I had chewed a pen until it exploded.
Master Lucas laughed, "Oh shit that is hilarious! You're going to have black lips all week X, how embarrassing." Completely embarrased and pissed off, I knew it would be a week of being humilated whereever I went, but it was for Teacher and that was ok with me.
I spit out the little ink that was in my mouth. "You are a bit fiesty. I think I'll use that gag Master Teacher sent with you." I was actually pretty glad about that otherwise, I think I would have said some rotten shit.

Unlike Teacher, he did not give me warm up taps, or warm-up anything. From the moment the gag was tied behind my head, Master Lucas did not waste any time getting to work. Unbeknownst to me, he had looked at the clock and saw we only had 15 mintues left.

He started on my ass, slicing through the welts left by Teacher, causing several of them to open up and bleed. Cruely ,he did the same on my thighs. The sting of the cane was so immense I was on the verge of nausea. Immediately it became apparent that I was not comfortable enough to relax like I did with Teacher. Instead, I clenched up which made all the blows entirely more difficult to take. I found myself starting to slump over and then my head was pulled back up by Master Lucas, but he did not stop. Instead he applied the blowsto my breasts, back and cunt. In the midst of all this, I faded out, but unlike the various versions of a twisted tropical paradise I go to when I go into supspace with my true Master, I apparently just blacked out.

My eyes opened, I was on the floor on the leopard rug. I was aroused from my state by a hand rubbing my back, a familar hand. It was Teacher!
"Are you OK X?"
"Huhh.." I felt kind of drunk. "You were so deep in subspace, Master Lucas had me intervene."
"Where were you, you left the driveway."
"X, I was here the entire time my sweet baby sub."
"You were what?" I was entirely confused.
"I was not goign to let my prized possession, you, not the cane, be in the hands of a strange Dom without being present. While Master Lucas read you the letter I entered his house through the back door."
"What about your car."
"Oh, it was down the street, that was just to scare you a bit."
"I was."
"I know. You did good X, you not only obeyed my instructions via Master Lucas, but you showed your loyalty to me."
"Where is he?"
"Oh he went to go get his checkbook"
"He liked the cane, huh?"
"Very much so, but he also liked you. He is paying for you to save for your tattoo removal when and if I chose for you do as such."
"But, wait, I don't have a tattoo."
"Yes, you do."
I looked down at my chest, there mingling in the welts and blood was the ink.
"You proved tonight that you were truly worthy of my ownership. You are mine now X and I had you marked as such." Stunned, I didn't know what to say, instead I just teared up. Tattoos were on my "Yes" list, but this was beyond my expectations. "I know how much you love looking at your various marks from play X and how sad you are when the are gone. Now, my dear, you never have to be sad again."

Weeks later the welts have healed, and there amongst my various freckles, birthmarks, and scars lay various blue stripes each one to make me think of my Master, Teacher.

*the end*


fiction copyright by sub nouveau, creative commons protected picture from Training of O