Sit Tight

I am so ridiculous sometimes I have to laugh at myself. For instance at after dinner tonight, Teacher went over some important documents of mine making notes. I sipped my coffee and watched him.

"Teacher, I've never seen your handwriting before." Which being that we only correspond via email is sadly not that unusual these days. I am no writing analyst, but like to look at others as I think you can tell a lot about a person.

He just peered over his glasses at me and kept writing. I'm a wiggle worm. As he worked, I tried to read what he was writing upside down, surfed around on the phone and then I decided he just looked so fucking manly and sexy there in his business garb, writing away to ensure me, his sub, would be prepared for an important meeting. So I took a picture of him with my phone. He gave me another look and kept writing. As he scribbled away I just got more and more aroused from his utterly manliness to the fact that he was taking care of me. I thought about what a gentleman he is from opening my car door to ordering for me. These might seem old fashioned, but not only do they make me feel more sub-ly, but also more feminine and respected.

He is coming back over within the hour for some slap and tickle, so I'm writing this butt (is it buck?) naked in my boots. The purpose of his visit tonight is to prepare me for a rough situation I am to face this week in both providing catharsis and directives. This situation was so awful the other day I honestly had thoughts of suicide and then I felt even worse that I had those thoughts.

I was hysterical that I had gotten to that level of self-hatred and fear, it was late at night and I was alone and terrified. I knew Teacher was out with his friends so I didn't want to ruin his evening, but after an hour I broke down and left him a message. He quickly called back as he was done with his evening anyway, and came over to soothe me.

"Teacher I am so fucking sorry you have to see me like this and I feel so crummy that you had to come over so late" I cried into his shoulder. "X, that is what I am for."

So tonight my dear Dom is going to give me both relief and then help me find the strength that resides in me to handle the monsters that will be beckoning. I promise a good raunchy tale tomorrow.


HisGirl said...

How wonderful He is. i am not sure what is going on girl, but i wish you the best of luck. my good thoughts are with you. Have a good time tonight & remember, you ARE worthy, & you ARE strong!

Songs said...

I get that exact same thing with Bear. I'm always taking pictures of him on my phone doing day-to-day things because he's just so handsome and fascinating and manly.
And I get situations where I break down but don't want to ruin his evening. It's hard.