I Have A New Dom

Just when you think I gave up on this, I have some wonderful news! I have a new dom! I guess I should tell you a little about him, as much as he will allow me to share of course. He has read the blog and has encouraged me to keep on writing. I am going to call him "Simon"

Simon closer to my age than any of the others I have mentioned here and that makes for a really good connection as we have a lot in common. I met him on a fetish dating site, he lives pretty close to me which is great. He's very, very tall which being short I greatly adore! I love looking up at a strong man. Yes, he's strong, literally he's ripped but not in a juiced out way, but in a nice sinewy way and has some chest hair which I also just totally love!

What really made me fall into his grasp is his excellent mindfuckery which seemed to start from the moment we first chatted. He has gotten me riled up only to fall back in laughter that I fell for what he said. He's also used this in more seductive situations that I will describe in later posts, for instance he's the first person to hypnotize me!

He is well equipped, and I am  not talking about his dungeon, which does have a nice one in his basement with oodles of toys, spanking bench and a rack. He's a handy guy, so he's building some other stuff for play.

What else is there to tell?  TONS. I just wanted to make this an introductory post about me and my adventures with the incredible Simon

Back From Hiding

By popular demand, I've unhearthed my old posts for your reading pleasure.

A few updates;

1. Teacher is still in my life, as a friend and mentor. While we don't see each other often, we do see each other and he and my current love are friendly. They trade war stories and chit-chat.  

Also, we'll be both working for Teacher in the near future helping him turn out a  cadre of whore slaves, as I may have mentioned in the past, I have always wanted to top a chick.

2. The economy has bit my ass, as it has the asses of so many so--I'm officially a 'sex worker'--see the 'Call Me' button on the right. I should be live in a couple of days, do let me know that you're calling from this blog, this way if you want to talk about Sub Nouveau stuff, I'll know where you're coming from, literally and figuratively.

2a. Speaking of $$, those of you who have so kindly signed up to any of the sites advertised on here, thank you SOOOOO much. I don't make a lot, but the few checks here and there have been lifesavers!

3. I don't plan on posting any more stuff on here, but do check out my other blog from time to time.

Note: links removed

Baby Bird Leaves The Nest. Can She Fly?

I don't know how to even start this post.
This is the deal.
Mark and I are in love.
It was in the works for awhile, though there have been times where I've hated him.
While I've been busy being enamoured, I have felt at times I have not given Teacher my all.
While I have not been giving Teacher my all, he has been extremely busy with his work.
The entire time he has said, "Go X, have fun."
So I did. But it got to be where I was always talking to Teacher like he was my girlfriend, asking him advice about Mark all the time. He said it was no biggie, but it kind of made me feel guilty.
Our sex life started to dwindle a bit due to all the logistics involve, and I started to feel shitty about posting just about me fucking Mark, and how I have been having some of the most incredible sex.
So when Mark uttered the "L-bomb" on me the other night, and professed his desire for us to be an official item, my immediate reaction was to think "What about Teacher?"
Mark has known about Teacher, but not so much. I have always let it be known that Teacher is very important person in my life.
I didn't tell Mark my concern, but as I am wont to do, I just stewed in it and made myself very upset. I arranged to speak with Teacher last night.
Hysterical I was, crying and blubbering. Teacher laughed, "X, I will always be in your life."
"You will..."
"Yes."
"I knew this was coming, and in fact, I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner."
"You did? How?"
He mentioned a post of mine, but I am not sure exactly which one.
"I want you to do this. You NEED to do this X. I think know how it is going to end up, but you never want to look back on your life and regret that you never gave something a chance."
See Teacher knows all of Marks bullshit. I am handing over my heart, in a way, to a madman, but a wonderfully brilliant, funny madman and I can't help that I am in love. It has been a very long time since I've felt this. I do love Teacher, I do, it is a different love though and that is why I felt so bad even bringing it up with him.
"You're not offended"
"No"
"Why? I would be mad if someone told me that they don't love me in a way they love another."
"Don't be ridiculous."
I cried and cried and cried and I held on to him and still, even as he reminded me over and over that he was not going to disappear from my life I was scared he would.
"What if Mark doesn't want me to see you."
"We're just friends X. I'd love to meet him."
"No, not yet. Maybe you can talk to him though."
See while I went forth with this experiment in to Polyamoury thinking it was for me, I think it is unfair to do a half-assed job of it. No matter how cool either party said they were, I couldn't shake that I was perhaps hurting someone's feelings. Mark and I plan on having a semi-open relationship with conditions I don't want to write about just yet.
"I feel like a baby bird Teacher, a baby bird that has decided to leave the nest before it is ready, struggling with fluttering it's baby wings."
I did.
I do.
The rest of the night was lovely, yet I was not going to rest until I knew from Mark that he would be cool that I continue my friendship with Teacher.
"Absolutely! Don't you think I'm still going to have my girl friends? He means a lot to you X"

One thing about Mark that made me very happy was something he said about BDSM, as I have written he's very kinky, dominant most definitely, but has never deemed himself a Dom.
"I want to do everything you want and need X"
"Only if you want to Mark. It has to be real. It has to be organic."
"It is, I want to do these things for you." He reminded me of prior experiences dating subs. "But I need to know what you need."
"If anything, I need to be spanked. A lot. Not just a slap while we're fucking, but lots of spanking."
"Done."

Another thing that made me very, very upset last night was this blog.

"Teacher, what about the blogggggg." I was crying
"Still do it."
"I can't," it is not fair.
"Yes, you must. What are you going to stop everything you love to do?"
"No"
"But you must not ever tell Mark about it. "
I heartily agreed with that.
"Will you let me write your Valedictorian address."
I laughed, "Yes."

So my readers, this blog is not going to vanish, quite the contrary, while I've thought I've ended my journey, I have realized I've only just begun.

Now where are my Kleenex?

Does A Scene A Switch Make?

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Bad Sub Nouveau

"I let you off the leash X and you were expected to come back. You didn't and that is very disrespectful."

I had Teacher's permission to hang out with Mark yesterday, and his only request was that I contact him to update him on my whereabouts.

I fucked up.

Teacher wasn't asking for much and I am very grateful I have someone who cares if I get home safely.

So I called Teacher and apologized for my negligence and being disrespectful to him. Needless to say he was pissed off. He thanked me for apologizing, but he said he was going to have a talk with me about this later today.

I could write a good post about the sex I had last night right now, but it doesn't feel right. Submission is not just about sex, and even if this was a Vanilla relationship I still would be in the wrong.

You guys will get the smut later on.

Different Strokes

By the time I headed home from work last night I was wound up to the point where if I was a dude it would be either fuck or fight. To say I was in a foul mood would be an understatement. Between a weekend full of various car related debacles, family bullshit, and throngs of bargain crazed customers I was mentally and physically exhausted. Add a visit from "Aunt Flo" and well it is amazing I didn't spontaneously combust. It was one of those rare times where I actually wanted my weekend to end so I could start fresh.

Poor Teacher has had to deal with me being a basket case since the fiasco in Atlanta and all the garbage that I threw in the basket afterwards. Being the excellent Dom that he his, he knew exactly what the medicine I needed was to recover.

He gave me ample time to calm down after work, but I still was on edge when he opened the door to my apt. Naked, wearing some new peep toed platforms, I didn't feel as sexual as I would normally. It was like all the anger and angst had coated me with a film and rendered me lackluster. As he unpacked his bags though, I felt my tension subside a tad.

I brought out my shiny new gag for Teacher to buckle around my head Once it was secure in my mouth, I had a few moments of panic that I don't think Teacher saw because he was still getting his tools together. Being gagged always makes me a bit scared. Being highly neurotic I think of shit like that I'm choking on my own saliva. I have to remind myself to focus on breathing through my nose.

Once he was all settled, Teacher slipped a new leopard print blindfold over my eyes and had me put my arms behind my back to cuff and clip together. I think it was because I was still in panic mode, but I couldn't seem to bend over correctly for him to hogtie me. I kept collapsing and falling over. I started to think he'd just say "Fuck it" and leave. As they say in certain circles, I was a hot mess!

Finally I had my shit together, bound and in position I felt the tickle of the tip of little strand on the top of Teacher's crop. Those pleasant tickles didn't last for long. Teacher whipped my ass like he had never done before and I screamed into the rubber ball.

Switching from the crop to the suede flogger mighty wallops felt across my ass and back. My ascent into subspace began. I started wondering if I could take it. It seemed like forever and my skin was fresh.

Out came the dragon tail, and they don't call it "Dragon" for nothing. Stupid me moved at one point while the leather was flying and a blow destined for my ass instead went right between my asschecks striking my pussy. If I was able to I would have flown across the room. Back to the flogger and I was at that point where my ass was numbing and I was flying.

Teacher crouched down next to me and whispered into my ear, "The paddle is going to let you fly X to where you belong" and as he laid the paddle down on my ass, I grabbed his free hand and he let me hold on to it as he spanked the fuck out of me. Now it is moments like that when the pain is juxtaposed with the tenderness of his loving hand that make me feel so utterly close to my Dom.

I am unsure exactly how long I was under, but I felt myself collapse like jelly. For those of you reading this who have never been in subspace, what I can tell you is, imagine if you will falling asleep while having your teeth drilled. Maybe that is not a good analogy, but basically I was feeling no pain whatsoever and only mildly cognizant of what they hell was going on. All without drugs, which as someone who likes a good chemical buzz, is fucking amazing.

Teacher got me out of my haze with some strong slaps with the flogger and worked back up to a bare handed spanking from hell. In the midst of all of this, I was bleeding from my cunt which did not dissuade Teacher from driving his hand up to reach my g-spot. My pussy muscles contracted and I trapped his hand like a fucking boa constrictor as I came around his fingers.

When it was all said and done, it looked like a crime scene, both of us and the sheets covered with blood. Now I was more out of it than I can ever recall after a session. I even felt a bit nauseated which I thought was odd, but then I read something similar on another site today so perhaps it had something to do with all the adrenaline from both the spankings and me being so angry earlier in the evening.

Teacher and I spent a lot of time talking afterwards. "I feel bad that I don't want to fuck Teacher"
"I know"
"You're not mad are you"
"No"
"If I wanted it X, I would take it"

He's so good to me, he knew that it was the pain not the sex that was necessary last night. I never ever ever want to be half-assed in bed, an unenthusiastic lover. Teacher knew that it was necessary for me to have closure for the rough week so I could relax refresh and move on.

I slept like a baby.

The Other Lover and My Love

Lots and lots of catching up to do my readers.

So not long ago I met a guy I'll call "Mark" at my local hipster watering hole. He caught my eye the minute I walked in, it wasn't that he was ultra hot, but that he had some some unique glasses and just a very rock'n'roll aura about him. Having slept with my fair share of musicians, I have a good radar for these types of dudes. Of course at the bar as I was at, anywhere I turned I was in spitting distance from some musician or another.

I mentioned to one of my girls that I thought he was cute, and she suggested I tell him I like his glasses. I poo-poohed the idea and went back to my cocktail, and my evening. Later on I turned around to see him walk by and flashed him a smile, and quickly turned back around. A few minutes later he came over to me "I like your glasses," he said I too, wear some pretty non-conventional frames. Ends up he's a new dude in town.

From the first word it was obvious that he was a slick motherfucker, with major game. After some quick chit-chat getting to know one another, it ended up that we had numerous friends in common. Our social microcosms, despite being 1000s of miles apart overlap. So he flirted with me as I sipped on my drink, "can I get your number, we should hang out sometime." I honestly hesitated, as Teacher was the first person I thought about. I knew giving this guy my number could feasibly lead me to some trouble. Before he left, I had slipped of my glasses and he commented on my eyes, "They're the color of sweet tea." Awww. "Your have pretty lips too." Before I had a chance to thank him, he gave me a quick kiss on the mouth and ran out the door. I swooned the whole way home.

Meanwhile, my girlfriends took it upon themselves to tell me that they thought he was bad news. I, though already knew that from some of the information he gave me about himself and his troubled past. That made me like him more.

Guilt overwhelmed me for having any sort of feelings for another man besides Teacher. The next day I told him "There is a guy who wants to hang out with me."
"Go for it."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"X, you are a young woman. I can only give you so much of my time. Go out with him, you have a lot in common."
"Really Teacher?"
"Have fun. Now if you start want to having a relationship with him, that is an entirely different issue."
"But Teacher, you know if you did the same thing I would be fucking livid. You know how I am."
Have I mentioned Teacher has a fat cow that refuses to go to pasture? She's no threat, just on my time. I'm her threat.
I just didn't' want to set myself up to be a hypocrite.

Now while I heard everything Teacher said, I still couldn't wrap my little mind around it, much less I was in a relationship where I could even bring another person up. Still, I didn't have the ovaries to tell him that I was going to see him the next day and made up some ridiculous story about bowling.

Mark texted and called me the next day. He's a high strung guy, not the insightful listener I have found Teacher to be. But then, this was not going to be about talking I had a feeling. Once my girls got wind that I was going to meet up with this dude, they started razzing me about how I was going to hop into bed with him very quickly. Instead of arguing that I wouldn't, I opted to let my freak flag fly and told them "you're damn straight I'm going to fuck him." They know I'm a slut, but not to the extent of my sluttery.

I'm not in high school my readers, I'm a grown woman and this is my sexual prime. I never want to look back with a withered cunt and an estrogen patch wishing I had enjoyed myself while I had the chance.

Bowling, I did not go. But I did go meet up with Mark. Our chit-chat was minimal. He put on some loud tunes, and threw me down and kissed me. As I told Teacher, it was not the sweet soulful kisses I get from him, but purely animalistic. It was also a tad awkward as we didn't really have any "getting to know you" here's how I operate action. It was zero to 60 in under a minute.

He gave me a few moment to admire his tattoos, and then started ripping off my clothes.
"I'm totally into big asses and big tits," he growled
"You're in right place my friend" I said looking him right in the eyes. He pulled my bra down and admired my breasts. "Those are some gorgeous tits" I, once again, thanked my two girls silently.
"I want to eat that sweet pussy of yours darlin," and he pushed me down on his bed, and pulled my panties down, tossing them aside.
He went to work, parting the lips of my cunt, and properly pulling them back to reveal my taut clit. With skill he licked and sucked, and darted tongue in and out, fucking my pussy with his tongue for quite some time. I had just started digging it when he stopped. "Baby, I love eating you pussy, but right now I just want to fuck. I'm going to eat you out some more later."
"Actually first I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours."
So right then my vanilla cone fell on the floor and got dirty. Hmm, I thought, this might be more interesting than I thought.
He pulled his jeans off. I was not surprised that he was going commando, as it seems to be de rigueur for all the pervy rockers I've ever fucked.

Mark had a very ample sized cock. Very. It was thick, long, and smooth. Not too veiny. In retrospect I guess he did shave around that area, as the rest of him is pretty hairy, but not in a gross way. He is much shorter than Teacher, not buff by any means, just a regular dude, but definitely with sex appeal.

Being the cumslut that I am, I willingly opened my mouth to for the first taste of this new cock. He held my head still as he drove his thickness in and out, ultimately subsiding to let me do my work. As I worked him with my tongue, I thought about my training with Teacher. How lucky this dude was to have a slut as skilled as I was sucking his dick. I gagged as I attempted to take him down my throat, and I could tell he loved the show, groaning, looking very satisfied.

Where the segue way from sucking cock to getting fucked is a blur, but I know I ensured he put on a condom, as Teacher and I have been fucking bareback since forever. Also, I know I was on all fours as he drove his cock into me for the first time. "How do you like that cock, you filthy bitch?" I could do nothing but gasp as his size made my cunt ache.

So Mark is fucking the shit out of me, when he stops and spanks my ass. I yelped. He spanked me again. Not a tap or a smack, but a big old wallop. My actual words have escaped me, but I know I told him how much I dug being spanked.
"You like it rough huh, X"
"Mmmmm"
He proceed to spank me, then fuck me, spank, and fuck. I started to lean down on my arms when I felt my head being yanked up by my hair. Oh yeah!
With both hands he held onto my hair, pulling my head back as he pounded into me. As I started to come, I must have been loud, because he pushed my head back down. "You've got to be quiet" (due to his living situation.)
Of course being me, I didn't mind having my head pushed down as he fucked both of us to orgasm, it just made it even hotter.

We were a sweaty mess afterwards, smoking, and he said "So you liked this spanking, huh" Oh yeah, mind you this cat is still hard, I'm trying not to climb back on him.
"Yep."
"I always end up with the submissive ones."
My mouth just fell to the floor. Mind you this dude has no idea that I am anyone's sub, no word of BDSM has been spoken. I don't even think he's officially a lifestylist, but as Teacher said, just a kinkster.
"Why do you think that is?"
"I'm just a dominant dude." That I don't know exactly, as he's not stereotypically macho, but he no wallflower either.
Still, I don't mention my whole story about being a sub, I just let it be. In case you have not been reading this blog long, or may not remember, part of my finding Teacher was inquiring about how anyone would know a sub is a sub, like on the street. This once again just confirmed to me that I'm truly acting upon my nature.

We went for round two. Knowing, though, this time my proclivities, Mark was a bit rougher. This time the spanks were harder, the hair tugged on a bit rougher, his thrusts stronger and he even slapped my face, which caught me off guard, and I liked. Though Teacher has never done as such and I don't think it is his style.

When the evening was over and Mark walked me to my car, he said, "So you're into kinky sex huh."
"Yep"
"Maybe next time I can tie you up. Would you like that?"
I just smiled.
--------
So I'm all sated, having enjoyed myself, but the whole night I was in mental torment. Teacher had said it was OK for me to hang out with him, but never did mention me fucking him. Then I started thinking about what he'd think about Mark tying me up. I decided that it that was brought up I was going to tell Mark that right now I only trust one person to tie me up. I would to need to truly find out this guys experience with this. I don't need to lose any limbs.

When Teacher came by the following night I came clean. He chuckled and was not one iota upset with me. "I want you to enjoy yourself X. I am very proud of you for being a slut."
I couldn't believe my ears. We had some pretty heavy conversations about the whole thing, and yet still I was feeling utterly guilty.

"I want to write about my experience in my blog, but I don't' want to hurt your feelings."
"You won't X. There is nothing you can do to make me take away your broadband connection."
We cracked up. I'm using his computer and Internet service.
"So I can be explicit."
"I want you to be."

I had to be 100% honest.

I uttered something I have yet to say to him.
"Teacher, I have to tell you something I swore I would never say to you first and I don't' want you to feel obligated to reciprocate."
"OK"
"The whole reason why I am in turmoil about this is not only because I respect you, but because..because I love you." I think I was holding my breath. "I think you already know that but I never wanted to say that."
"I always took your word "adore" as carefully chosen.

He kissed me and hugged me, and all was good in the universe.

Ain't Nothing Free

Money, it is the bane of my existence. Oh I love to spend it, but it is beyond me to manage it. I've been taught the process of budgeting, saving, etc. numerous times but I still always seem to find a way to slither down into the putrid hole of debt.

As much as I hate being in debt, I hate asking anyone for money. To do so is to admit I'm a fuck-up, if anything admitting it myself. To owe someone you know money is a whole lot different ballgame than say, owing a bank. But desperate times make for desperate measures. One thing I've never done and never wanted to do is to borrow from a boyfriend.

Today I broke my promise to myself.

He sat in the lot of the gas station in his sleek ride, hair in pony tail, cigarette in mouth. I pulled up beside him, happy to see his face, but I considered crawling over to him. I felt too low to walk.

"Here's your money X," he handed over a check to me. As lowly as I felt, I felt utterly thankful that I would be able to pay off the party that was harranguing me. Of course I was still in debt, but now in debt to Teacher. We had already made plans for my repayment out of my next paycheck.

I opened my mouth to thank him, and he snatched the check right out of my hands.

"You thought it was going to be that easy X?"

I was a tad dumbfounded, but mostly scared.

"You're going to learn from this loan my sweet," Teacher exhaled smoke out his window and took a long hard look at me. Me, well I was gnawing at my lip trying not to tear up.

"I now have a mortgage out on your pussy X," he cackled in such a way I was starting to wonder if this was the same Teacher who held me against my door last night and spanked the shit out of me and then cradled me in his arms for the rest of the evening.

I worked up the courage to speak up. "Teacher, I thought we had already made plans for me to pay you back."

"That is true X, but that is in regards to the financial debt. See, you also must repay your debt to me for your utter slackness, I've spend a lot of time trying to train you X, and well I'm very disappointed that you have been so..hmm..sloppy with your finances."

I felt my face break out in the heat of shame.

"I'm so fucking sorry Teacher. Honestly. Sincerely. You have no earthly idea how mortified I am at this moment, much less mortified that I had to even ask you."

"Now I will give you a teeny bit of credit for coming to me first, as your owner you are ultimately my responsibility. Imagine, if you will, a dog that has decided one day they were never housebroken. The owner comes home from work, ready to walk his pet and there on the floor is a sight he has not seen since the dog was a puppy--a big puddle of pee. Now he doesn't even have to say anything to the dog because the dog already knows he was wrong and is cowering in behind the couch. Still, he's pissed off it has been a long day. Now he could do a few things. The dog's master could clean the puddle, reprimand the dog and go on with his evening OR decide that this dog was useless and give him away, despite all the time invested in the training and building of a relationship with that dog."

I still was chewing on my lip. It was increasingly hard to look Teacher in the eye.

"A master worth his salt would keep the dog and figure out the cause of the dog's poor behavior, and strive to correct it. A shitty master would just give up, get rid of the dog and find a new one."

A new dog?! A new sub?! No!

"Teacher I think you are a master worth his salt and I know you wouldn't just toss me out."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are. I'm not just saying that. I know you believe in me, otherwise you would not have taken me on. Still, I do want you to know that I will do everything I can to rectify my shitty ways."

"Are you truly worth my trouble X?"

"Yes Teacher Sir, I am." I was so humbled, I could barely get my words out.

"Now if that is the case, I think you can start repaying me today."

"But Teacher, I don't get paid till Friday." My quick reply made it seem as if I had not listened, but I did, I was just so nervous. I could see in Teacher's eyes he was getting a bit perturbed. He doesn't hide is irritation very well.

"That is not what I was talking about X, " he said putting his face so close to mine that I instinctively started moving backwards my head almost touching the passenger side window.

As I opened my mouth to reply, Teacher grabbed a fist full of hair.

"THIS is what I was talking about my dear sub," as he spoke he unzipped his jeans and unleashed his cock, which was just as hard and angry as the rest of him, red and purple and veins bulging. He pushed my my head down, his fingers entwined between my brown locks, onto his prick.

I didn't fight it. I'm sure some would, but then we're talking about me, a sub who derives pleasure from being sufficated by cock stuck in her airways.

"You little fucking whore X, you're going to fucking take all of me in that mouth of yours"
He didn't give me a chance to wrap my tounge around the head of his cock because he was fucking my throat, my head banging against the steering wheel, totally oblivious to the fact that we were just in a busy gas station parking lto.
I'd have a second to breath and he'd ram himself right back in. Drool and tears soaked both Teacher's jeans and my chin.
My panties were soaking as well.
"You are going to pay back every fucking dollar X, whore or no whore, you got me?"
I made an attempt at replying which probably sounded like "waawaaawa."
"Got me X?"
"wawaaa"
"I can't hear you X speak a bit louder!"
"WaWAwaa" it was impossible to speak with cock slamming into my palate.
"Louder X"
"WaWAAAAA" I didn't have to try much longer because he shoved his cock down my gullet and let go a hot stream of cum.

Usually Teacher takes his time on the recovery end of a sex act, but today was not a normal day. He zipped up, handed me the check, kissed me on the forehead and said "Get your ass out of this car and go pay that goddamn bill"
"Yes, Teacher" I obeyed. It if is possible to do the walk of shame in less than five feet, I most certainly did it.

When I got back in my car I looked at the check. In the notes section he put "CMSLT"

Maybe I should have gotten an advance on my taxes.

Nah.




original erotic fiction by subnouveau based on some reality. some.

Be Careful What You Wish For

"X be careful what you wish for," Teacher said with smirk. Well I don't know if he was smirking because we were on the phone, but he certainly sounded like he did.

He took my BDSM wish-list to heart. In a few weeks we will be having a little fetish fête with another Dom and his slave. Sounds good on paper, but having never been in such a situation I would be a total liar to not say I'm not a bit nervous. But I'm excited. Very excited. So much so that it has been the main topic of all my masturbatory fantasies since he's shared his plan with me.

I have not been with another MF couple in a vanilla situation either. I have been with two guys at one time--thank you Jack Daniels! I did have a MFF threesome but it was a coke fueled evening and it ended up being more like me and the dude and the chick passed out.

Anway, this situation is going to be different on many levels. One it is planned. Two I'll be sober. Three, and most importantly, I will be involved as a submissive.

Teacher and I have yet to play in public, much less with another couple. I have also yet to mingle with those in my local kinky community, so this two will be very interesting for me to see another D/s couple interact.

One thing I have given much though to and have brought up to Teacher is protocol and my behavior around the other couple. He and I have our own thing, and I think he's possibly more lenient with me than the other Doms I read about. Part of this I think is that he knows my nature is like one of a young calf trying to stand up for the first time on wobbly legs coupled with Mr. Magoo and perhaps early-onset Alzheimer's. Imagine if you will a three-year old running around, switching from toy to toy to toy wreaking havoc and finally the mother yanks the kid and tells them to sit down. That my readers is me. Now as I write this I'm sure I'll have hell to pay for saying he's taken it easy on me.

Now I told Teacher I want to know exactly how to behave, as I want him to be a)proud of me as his sub and more importantly b)I know I am a reflection of him and I want to make sure he is regarded as the good Dom that he is. He told me that he had already planned to have that discussion with me. Good to know we're on the same wavelength.

So I'm certain he and this other Dom I'll call, hmmm, Mr. Spank must have something up their sleeves. I mean, I know I would. Considering the competitive nature of men I would imagine I might be in for some intense pain, major mindfuckery, and God willing a mouth full of pussy and cock.

Speaking of pussy and cock, I must say that I'm mostly aroused by the thought of possible interaction with the other sub. My current fantasy has us tied together in such a manner that our cunts are smashed together, clit touching clit, making it virtually impossible to not come. I've thought a lot how I will handle it if Teacher fucks that woman. I think I can deal with it as this is not a local situation. Somehow that makes it OK with me. Not to mention that her man will be there. I think a single chick is where I'd be threatened. I am also a bit of a voyeur so just getting to see live and person some beatings and fuckings seems like a total party to me. Being fucked by the other Dom at this point is not really on my mind. I would though, be interested in an attempt at some good ol' dp-double penetration.

I think I watch too much porn.

photo from wiredpussy

My BDSM Wishlist

One thing that I think makes BDSM so appealing is the endless possibilities for play between partners. You always see advice columns suggesting vanilla couples "spice things up" and even do some light bondage with furry handcuffs of course. But from what I can tell so far, those of us who are of the kinky contingent are rarely boring. I get bored VERY easily and I think that is one of numerous reasons I love this lifestyle.

There are so many things within the realm of BDSM that I, as a sub, have yet to experience. I know that I am to be patient, though it is my tendency to be otherwise.

Still here is a list of stuff I hope to experience in the future, I don't know if I've shared all these with Teacher or not:

• Suspension - now here I honestly don't know what I'd be getting myself into. I have a terrible fear of heights and falling. Still, the idea intrigues me. Every account I have read makes it seem quite mind blowing.
• Complete sensory deprivation. No Limit Slave had a great post this week about her experience. Once again I think It would challenge some of my deepest fears and I am at the point where I can trust Teacher to take me through this.
• Hot wax play
• Public play - dungeons, doing tasks in public for Teacher, being made to wear certain things
  
• Group sex, though I must admit most of my fantasies around this are more of the lesbian ilk. But, under Teacher's watchful eye I could handle another dude providing he wasn't gross.
• Latex/PVC -I just like how it looks and think I'd like to at least wear some one night
• Fisting - Teacher I don't think is keen on this as I am, he has mighty big hands. Maybe I am wrong.
• More verbal humiliations. Which if you guys even had an inkling of my bullshit that I am going through right now would seem utterly absurd.
• Different forms of bondage -I love those behind the arm Opera gloves. I think I'd like to be tied up and left alone for awhile.
  
• Needle and more knife play, perhaps to the point of cutting.
  
• Some more extreme play in general, water, electric who knows.
  
• I wish to relinquish more of my control over to Teacher. I am at a point where I must escape myself more than ever before.
  

What items are on your BDSM wish list?

photo from waterbondage

My Hero

Months ago I wrote about the influence of the damsel in distress archetype via cartoons on my sexual psyche. As a submissive, the idea of being rescued and protected is fully ingrained into my skull and my panties.

This past weekend I found myself out with some girlfriends having a nice evening of chit-chatting over some cocktails when the night took a turn for the worse.. This crazy jerk I am sadly acquainted with got entirely too close to yours truly. "I want to lick your asshole" he said, spitting all over my face. Instinctively I pulled back. "What," he said, "Do I have bad breath?" Yes, he did. "You're spitting on me, get the hell out of my face." I shot him the evil eye and he whimpered off. My girlfriends were busy with their own drama. I just was ruffled I shot Teacher a text about the asshole. He immediately wanted to know where the hell I was and if he needed to "take care" of that moron. I told him that I thought things would be OK. I did, actually as I know the bartenders there and I was pretty certain they'd rough up that dude if need be.

In the interim, my drunken girlfriends put me in a situation where I was without a ride. I thought I'd hang out and get a cab later. Oh, but drunk jerk wasn't finished with me. He got up really close again and said some other shit. "Get the fuck out of my face, I suggest you leave my ass alone or you'll regret it." AT that point, I had enough. I went outside to talk to Teacher. "I'm going to take a taxi home."
"You are not!"
"It is only a short ride! I'll have him stop at the ATM so I can get some cash."
"You are not fucking doing that X! I'm picking you up!" Mind you Teacher was about 20 miles away across town.
"I'll wait outside"
"No, go inside."
I did as told and went back into the bar, but I could not go back to my earlier relaxed state. I honestly was scared Teacher would come in and kill the dude. I've never seen him in action, but I know that he could do some damage. He's a big man. A big man with a mighty presence. If he had walked into the bar, it would be like a scene out of a Quentin Tarantino movie.

While I waited, I saw the moron skulk off. He was a lucky dude. Teacher called me that he was nearby. As I saw his sleek ride pull around the corner, I was so stinking happy. I hopped in and without going into detail, Teacher had some weaponry at ready in case the fucker was still around. Nothing illegal mind you, but pretty vicious. Had the guy been around he'd be hating life right now and a lot of people I know would be glad about it.

Immediately I slid over and planted a big kiss on Teacher and thanked him. I could tell he was a tad disappointed he didn't get to rough up the dude, but just knowing that he could have done of such for little ol' me made me swoon. Had this been a cartoon I would have said, "My hero" and fanned myself.

We got back to my apartment. It was pretty late and under the circumstances there was not going to be any official BDSM action going on, but I submitted and thanked my Dom by offering him my pussy. He accepted my thanks and impaled me on his hard cock. As he fucked me, I felt yet another level of connection with Teacher. I don't honestly like being in bad situations, but it was nice to know that if forbid I am in another predicament, I have a man who has my back when he doesn't have me on my back.

Mindfuckery

Backwards. That is how I tend to learn. Or maybe it isn't backwards as much as grasping for the chunks of debris that are sprayed out of a tornado.

See, I am only now realizing that bondage does not have to involve ropes and restraints, but my head.

I have a terrible phobia of people dying on me. It is not a normal fear of people passign away, but something that I obsess over. Let's leave it as major abandonment issues.

So when I didn't hear from Teacher as I normally have for the last six months, my mind started to race. I couldn't contact him and I hadn't heard from him. I went on about my day, but he was always on my mind. I had a social enagement and proceeded to get loaded which only made things worse for this worry wort. All ended up being ok with Teacher, but I ended up feeling like a total jackass and babbled on to him drunk on the phone early in the morning. I was utterly ashamed that he had to hear me in that state. A lot of lessons were learned that evening that had nothing to do with my submission to Teacher, but his dissaproval of my idocacy ate me up inside until I saw him last night.


He already pointed out that I had realized on my own that I can't go back in time and live like I once did, but still I was expecting a major punishment even though I honestly didn't do anything inappropriate.

When he came over he had me join him under the blankets and held me. "You are where you need to be right now. With me." I confessed my stupid fear and how I would be devasted to lose him. I tried to supress crying. "You want me to cry don't you sicko," I teased him, "I hate that I am always crying around you."
"Your tears don't scare me X, they let me know that you are being honest about your feelings." Oh boy, there I went again to Kleenexville. When I still had streams of hot tears running down my face, he leaned in an kissed me oh so passionately. We paused and I presented my throat to him for a nibble, instead I got his hand around my throat. Perhaps that is what I really wanted
I gulped at the air.
I did want that.
"Feel yourself surrender X."
I did.
He let go of his grasp and kissed me again.

Then he fucked the hell out of me, but nary a tap, or spank, or slap. I was a bit confused when he left and I fell asleep. Still, I felt a whole lot better. For the love of God, this is the first person who has not run from my neurotic ways.

He explained it to me this morning.

.

... No, you didnt get spanked last night, no, you didnt get bound or blindfolded. Last you got what you needed more than anything: to be held tightly and treated with careful attention. You need to feel yourself close to me and realize that you are a part of me; to know that in my arms you are safe from the world, ...

I replied with a coy "You enjoy fucking with my head, dont' you. Even just a teensy bit."

He admitted as such, as it is part of my training.

I told him that is why I adore him. Even without him telling me what he thinks I need, he is so fucking right. If anything then and even now, I yearn to feel safe, to feel reigned in, that if I run even a bit out of control there will be a tug at the leash, and in my case it is a figurative one.

Wipe Away Those Tears

Turmoil. My life has been in utter turmoil. I've had several things occur that rattled me to my core. I am on both on the edge of failure and the cusp of a fresh beginning. I had someone be unnecessarily cruel to me, lost something that meant a lot to me, and realized that it is utterly useless to attempt to fit my eccentric circle into the boring world of squares. I've tried in vain, but it only causes me pain, heartbreak, fucks with my self-esteem, and exasperates problems I already have.

I spent a good part of last weekend in hysterics, terrified, lost and mad at myself. Teacher, bless the man, proved once again to be good Dom. Someone who I honestly respect, who I can go to for advice, and yes, seek comfort. "Comfort from a Dom?" and outsider might question, but yes, it is possible.

"I am glad you called me first," he said as I wailed on the phone about the trauma. I once had a so-called boyfriend who ran the minute I needed him. So when Teacher didn't blow me off, or attempt to temper my tears by telling me "It'll be OK." I knew I was in good hands. That was on Friday.

Saturday morning, my soul only hurt worse, I woke up even more upset than I was the night before. Somehow through my hysterics and snot bubbles I was able to absorb much of his advice. I yearned for vengeance, he instructed me to let the powers of the universe do their job. That was not easy for me to grasp. It still isn't. Though, I know if it was a male who had hurt me so, he would have taken the vengeance into his own hands. I don't call him "Tough Guy" on a regular basis for nothing.

Somehow I muddled through my weekend obligations and found myself Sunday night in position waiting for him to unlock my door. It was a struggle to clear my brain. I rocked back and forth trying to relax. When I was almost at that point Teacher arrived.

I could see his cowboy boots even with my eyes turned downward. I felt 1000 times more vulnerable than ever. I was inside out. Raw. I heard him unzip his suitcase. Normally he escorts me to my room, so for him to get things going in the foyer threw me for a loop.

"Put your arms out and your forehead on the floor X," he commanded. I obeyed. He attached my wrist cuffs and clipped them together. A few moments passed and I felt soft strands glide up and down my body. I had no idea what he was using and he hadn't mentioned shopping. It felt so nice against my tense body. The softness beget gentle strikes that spread over my entire back. Oh how good it felt, as my back is where I carry my stress.

Immediately I started sobbing. It was not sobbing because of the pain, but from the release. Soon, he lifted me up. I felt into his chest and he hugged me but I could not hug back due to my wrists being restrained. "What was that?" He showed me this gorgeous handmade leather flogger he purchases from a local artisan. A wooden handle with long strands of both red suede and regular leather intermixed.

I try not to top from the bottom, but I requested that he flog my back some more. It felt so amazing and was exactly the therapy I had needed all weekend. He kindly did as such. As each strike of the leather hit my back and shoulders I was able to let go some of the toxic psychic waste that had built up over the last couple of days. Crying the entire time. I also fantasized about going to a Russian bath being scrubbed and beaten with birches.

When he stopped again, he held me tight. "I'm so proud of you X"
"What?"
"I am proud of you."
"What for?" How could he proud of ME his fucked up sub who was on the road to ruin. I was utterly confused. "How could you Teacher. I am so weak."
"whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrow of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of adversity, and by opposing it thus prevail.":
"What is that from?" I, being a victim of Cliff's Notes.
"Hamlet."
"OK." I honestly was unable to absorb the meaning at the time and inquired today as to why he was proud of me. I don't think he'll mind me sharing. (If so, we'll know if I take this down)

"I am proud of you for being able to kneel before me with sincere devotion when everything else in you wants to withdraw and breakdown. I am proud of you for having the faith in me to show you weaknesses, knowing that they will not cause me to think less of you. I am proud of you for acknowledging that your submission transcends your emotion and gives you strength to endure life outside of that. Yes, I am proud of you"

Things might be sucking for me, but this makes me realize at least on one level I am a lucky girl.

Tick Tock

Tick Tock, I'm sitting here waiting for Teacher's cock! He's running late, so here I sit.

I did all my usual pre-visit nesting and grooming well pre play visit nesting and grooming. Poor guy surprised me earlier this week and had to see me at my most unsexy, looking like a total ragamuffin. He was good humoured about it, but I was utterly mortified.

Tonight in anticipation of his arrival I took it upon myself to lay out on a big floor cushion all the tools of our trade--the new clamps, lube, dildo, flogger, crop, cane, etc. He'll have his case of stuff, but I figured he'll appreciate that I have prepared everything ahead of time. It never fails I'm scrambling to find something for him or I'm wishing he'd used something on me, but I had it squirreled away. Out of site out of mind. He's very tolerant of my ADHD, more than most, but if I can do even just one thing to have it not interfere with our evening, I will. If any of you Doms or Dommes reading this are topping a ADHD sub, God Bless you. I know we must be more of a challenge than your regular run of the mill "normal" (cough-cough) sub. I would imagine it is like trying to wrangle a wild animal.

It also dawned on me that I made it the entire week without masturbating. It wasn't on purpose, it just was. I think though, that will be a positive thing later on when we get down to business.

Must go get in position.

Bound, Gagged, Smacked, Fucked

Dueling cases of colds did not hold me and Teacher back from meeting up last night. Amongst boxes of Kleenex and bottles of Nyquil, we made room for some action. As I write I feel like utter ass, but I'll tough it out long enough to share the goods.



Things changed up a bit from my previous post, as we ended up running some errands and well, that involved me dressing up to go out in the cold, but when we got back, he had me undress, put on my corset lace boots and stand up on my knees. Candles were lit and we were quickly back in the mood.



He attached cuffs to both my wrists and ankles, and then connected those so I was linked together but still facing straight ahead. Taking two neckties he had left at my apartment, he applied on to my eyes as a blindfold,and one as a gag. As I did mention, I put on some of my music, and he was cool with it, as he said it was for my pleasure. (I am sorry I can not divulge the band name, as they're pretty obscure and I've been ranting about them to my friends, but let's just say it's some doom metal). Go figure though, I don't really recall hearing the music other than the noises in my own head.



Teacher started out by lightly flogging my tits. He really hasn't flogged my tits much, so this was a new sensation. I must have liked it because I recall sticking my chest out for more. Blindfolded, I honestly fell into subspace pretty damn quickly. I felt myself go a bit limp, that was until he started flogging my back and ass with the Viper Tongue. That damn thing feels like 101 bees stinging all at once and all I know is I started moaning to the point I almost felt I was going to speak in tongues. I had never heard this sound come out of me before, I wasn't crying or yelling, but one long extended groan. How long he flogged, who the hell knows, I know my ass was almost numb when he roused me from my state by scratching down either cheek, at that point I kind of wanted to stay where I was in my head, but he wasn't having any of that, he unbuckled my wrists as they were apparently changing colors, and had me place my hands on the bed with my ass facing him.

I heard the click of the lube bottle open, and then a cold slick of the lube was applied to my asshole. It had been awhile since we've had anal sex, but I was prepared as I would ever be. He took his time working his cock into my anus, and then fucked me oh so hard. Teacher, was talking dirty to me, I wish I can recall what he was saying, because he's normally not a big talker while fucking me. That said, I knew he was enjoying himself immensely. Something happened with me though, I think I got so detached while being flogged, that I just couldn't, or possibly didn't want to get off. No particular reason, I think I knew I just didn't have it in me. Being sick and then going into subspace was a lot on my body. I didn't dislike it, I think this session was just not sexual for me, and Teacher told me later on that that is OK. Meanwhile Teacher got out the flogger and started whacking my back. That, I did enjoy, it is almost like a massage for me as I hold all my tension in my neck, back and shoulders.

When Teacher came in my ass, I curled up next to him, still bound at the ankles, gagged and blindfolded. He took off my blindfold and I just started sobbing. "I don't know why I'm crying!" I muttered.

"You don't have to have a reason X" and he held me for a long time. "I can't imagine anyone doing what we just did and just leaving the sub," I said to him.

"That would be rotten, this is aftercare and it is very important, plus I like lying with my little X (insert his pet name for me)" I then told him how I read about aftercare prior to us meeting and how I was terrified that I'd meet someone who would just leave me high and dry, like many men, albeit Vanilla men, had done before.

Sometimes I think all my posts might seem the same, but I know they are not. Each time we do what we do, it gets to be more intense, more of a mind fuck.

It wasn't the smartest thing in the world to play while we were both all sniffley, but I am glad we did.

painting by trevor brown

Sub With Her Head Cut Off

For the last hour I've been scrambling around trying to prepare according to Teacher's instructions. None of them were out of the ordinary, but one of his requests was for me to "have the bed clear." Sounds simple, except I'm a huge slob. So I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off straightening up. Oh, but then he wants me to "wear the boots you wore the other night." Damn if one of them got sucked into the abyss. I panicked, but luckily thanks to my personal guardian angel who helps me find everything I lose, it showed up.

The biggest challenge is going to be this. "Put on some music that puts you in the mood." Well my darlings what puts me in the mood are songs that most people would not deem romantic. I like my music like I like my spanking, heavy and often pretty dark. Teacher on the other hand is no fan of the rock, which makes it even more amazing that I adore him. I really don't even own anything mellow, except some Roxy Music, but I played that before and it doesn't get me into the mood.

I've been sick, and well this is going to sound ridiculous and under normally circumstances TMI, but I thought I'd share this, I am not taking my cold meds until after he leaves because most over the counter cold remedies will dry everything out, your nose and your twat. Seriously.

On a positive note, I am to be sans clothing which is one less stressor.

Viper

When I got off of work, I called Teacher as I always do and he was not there. Instead of thinking that he was probably working on his project, I started obsessing that instead he was with my arch nemesis. The more I thought of it, the angrier I got, even though I knew that I was more than likely full of shit. We didn't have plans for the night, so I decided that the healthy thing for me to do was to just turn my phone off so I would not obsess about him calling me. I did as such, and busied myself with Internet crap for at least an hour. Around 11:30, I turned the phone back on, he had called and sounded a bit miffed, as he had planned on seeing me. Immediately, I rang him and he said he'd turn around and come over. Still, to me, he sounded disappointed.

After he hung up the phone, I ran to my bedroom, tore off my clothes, and put on my new boots. Dressed, or rather under dressed, I ran around lighting candles and dragged a big cushion to the foyer. I called him back, "The door is open." Usually this is a prearranged situation, as I have mentioned previously he's instructed me to leave my door unlocked and be ready to present myself. This time I decided to do it on my own volition.

There in the darkness, in front of my door, I kneeled in my presentation position until my feet went numb, then I rearranged myself on all fours and just practiced breathing. The breathing allowed me to unwind a bit and I began to feel at peace. When my knees grew weary, I went back to my presentation position. How long I sat there, I am unsure, but when he opened the door, I could not help myself but look up. Teacher looked shocked to see me as such, as he did not request me to do so. He put his keys down, and crouched down to my level, and lifted my head up by the chin and kissed me. Immediately I started sobbing. It was one of those moments where my submission felt tactile, real.
"What is wrong X?"
"I...," I stammered through the tears "I don't know."
Honestly at that second, I was unsure myself. He led me to my room. I hugged on him for a long time, feeling so safe against my baby's chest. "I guess I felt like I disappointed you, not being available." He laughed. I told him the truth, how I had turned off the phone and why. He knows how I feel, and how I obsess about things, so I think he understood. I am such a stereotypical emotional woman at times it makes me want to puke. It ended up that he had a very rough day, and that is why he sounded so weary when we had spoken.

So we hung out for a long time smoking and talking, oh yes, he loved the boots! Then I remembered what I had hanging amongst my belts. "Ooh, I have something to show you!" I wiggled my way over to the closet,"I got something new to review. It is called a "Viper's Tongue" and I added my own snake hiss sound-effect that was more amusing than sexy. "I'm going to need your opinion as well since you'll be wielding it, not me."

I handed it to him, and silly me since he didn't have his case with him, I just assumed he'd probably take a few swings and we'd really use it another time. So I got myself on all fours and stuck out my ass for him to test out the Viper's Tongue. Before I go on, I must note that since we've met I've only experienced a leather flogger a few times as his stuff had been stolen not long after we started my lessons, so really most of my leather/flesh experience has been from the riding crop.

So my ass is out and I have no idea what to expect. The few initial swats at my tush were tolerable, but quickly went to me feeling like my ass was on fire. Back and forth, back and forth, up and down my tender bottom and back. Oh I was cussing up a storm, it hurt so fucking much I was pulling my own hair. At some point I grabbed an adjacent pillow and started biting into it. One day I wish to not have thin walls and nosy neighbors so I can honestly scream! He paused for a second and I though "Whew, thank God" and then he started again. I was kicking my feet like a little kid who just got punished, and I kind of felt like one as well. There was another pause and Teacher started again,but this time with his bare hands. My ass sort of was numb, but not if that makes one iota of sense, because as he laid the blows on my ass it started to feel like I was getting pummeled by his fist (I asked him later on, he wasn't). Just as I started getting used to the hands, damn if Teacher didn't switch back to the Viper's Tongue. "You're getting some great marks." I have never used my safe word with Teacher, and I came close.

As my back was to him, I was unable to see that he had cock had hardened. So he slapped down the leather to my own hide again and again, and occasionally running his fingernails down the redness, and I'm thinking of yelling for mercy when he put the flogger down long enough to pull me back onto his hard dick.

Apparently I was so focused on the blows, that I didn't realize that the rest of my body was reacting as well, because the minute his cock entered my cunt, it contracted and grasped onto his thickness and I instantly shuddered with orgasm. Teacher continued to thrust into me, balls deep, all the while flogging my oh so sore bottom! I had never felt anything like it before. Thrust, thwack. It was also a major mindfuck. One millisecond I'm overcome with arousal, and then next blip of time I'm overcome with pain. Every nerve in my body was on red alert and as Teacher took his final thrusts before shooting his load inside me, I too was groaning with yet another orgasm.

Not one to leave me alone, Teacher withdrew his cock, and using the cum that was dripping out of my pussy he started rubbing on my clit, it was already so engorged it was almost painful when he laid his finger upon it. Teacher knows my sweet spots, but last night I developed a new one, it was directly under my clit, neither right nor left, and it gentle upward strokes, this sub was writhing around as soaking cunt drenched his hands. Even as I laid down next to Teacher, I still shuddered with orgasms that were pending in the que.

When all was said and done, I reached over to feel the damage done, nice thick dotty welts where strewn across my skin. Yet again I had reached a new level in my submissiveness to Teacher. I did what came naturally, to be there prepared for him. He did not need ask, I did what I did because that is what I am to do. Not to mention, I hit new heights on the pain and pleasure scale.

I have yet to post my review for the Viper's Tongue, but I can promise you guys it will be most definitely positive.

Update: Most importantly I forgot to add that today, I could barely walk.

100% Organic

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All Tied Up and No Where To Go

Last night Teacher and I moved venues to a motel, just to change things up. Unbeknown to me, he was feeling sickly, but he knew I was looking forward to spending New Years Eve with him, and he wasn't going to let me know. I'm the hypochondriac in this couple. Anyway, he managed to give at least myself a memorable evening before the ball dropped. He'll be paid back kindly in blow jobs.

He told me just to wear jeans and a sweater, but underneath I wore a black garter belt, stockings with the line up the back, and a black bustier. Not to mention my "cripplers in which I still have not mastered walking.

We got settled in the room and he started unpacking his tools and toys. I laid on my stomach and watched him take each item out. Rope. Check. Clothespins. Check. Vibrators. Check. Lube. Check. Paddle-a new one. Check. Ball Gag. Check. Big fucking humongous bowie knife. WTF!

As I've mentioned before, we've included knife play in our scenes but the previous implements were not even remotely as threatening as this hunk of steel. "What the hell are you doing with a knife like that?!" Teacher is fully armed from bats to bullets, but yet he always seems to find something to freak me out. While it is not this exact knife, it is damn close. He proceeded to lay the cool blade on my chest. Oh, I knew what he had in mind. But it just looked like what it was, something to rip the guts out of some unlucky person. He proceeded to show me ways to hide it, flipped it around, and basically got me pretty scared. I didn't grow up around weaponry, so the mere sight of it gives me the heebie jeebies.

"We've played with knifes before X," he said looking me straight in the eyes.
"I know." I whimpered.

"You know you are always safe with me."
I didn't answer.

"That look you gave me doesn't seem like you're too confident in that."
"Well..." I laughed it off, but in all honestly, I can't shake the fear of that he may snap and gore the ever living shit out of me, leaving me a bloody, lifeless, carcass. Of course, that fear is half the purpose of him bringing that damn thing along with him.

Next, He showed me the newest paddle he made, which was a bit smaller, yet sturdier than the prototype he used on me last week. It is the normal paddle shape, but there all sorts of holes drilled into it.

Between seeing the knife and paddle, I was already breathless. I has been a few weeks since we've truly played hard. I felt like I was back at square one, any remnant jadedness went out the window and I returned back to what I am--sub nouveau. I must not forget it.

Bondage, oh how I love thee. I was excited to see my ropey friends and offered my hands with no struggle. As the knot was secured, I felt instantly a lot happier than I did when I had walked in the motel room door. The more and more I experience it, it becomes apparent that being restrained is my favorite type of BDSM play. I know part of it is because for so long, I have felt out of control. I've often joked that "I need to be put in a cage." Well I've never meant that literally in the past, and actually I'm not over anxious to be caged, but the ropes serve the same purpose. I like those reigns pulled in on me (unlike Linda Ronstadt.)

Teacher rolled me over onto my stomach and tied my ankles together and then rolled me back with my face up. Bliss. A leather blindfold was put over my eyes. The gag I guess got lost in the mix, but that was OK.

He started gently, kissing my face, stroking my hair, and then pulled down the bustier to reveal my breasts. Upon each exposed breasts, he yanked the nipples taut and applied a clothespin.

Teacher started flicking the pins back and forth with what I quickly learned was the big knife. Click, clack, click, clack. Each tap made my nipples sting. I was chewing my lip. My fear of the knife did not wane whatsoever, so when the chunky Bowie knife was pressed, flat side down on my ribcage I immediately gasped. He traced the knife then across my lips so I could feel the thick serrations and then slowly down tracing my throat, down across my torso, down to my pussy where he flicked my labia with the dull, but still cold edge. I tried to hold still, but I was trembling.

He positioned me across his knee and with little warm up, started spanking the shit out of me with the plastic handle of a flyswatter he once used on me, sans the long lost swatter. He's usually good about starting off slowly, but in retrospect I think it was because he felt like ass. My ass felt like it had never been spanked before and I was screeching and moaning, apparently so much so I heard a knock from the room adjacent to us. Cheap motel. Thin walls.

He moved me from his knee back on the bed. I was face down with my ass up. He then switched over to his bare hands rotating from cheek to cheek, and automatically I was chewing my arm and my pillow. I started to drift off but then the fucking goddamn room phone rang, and rang, and rang, ultimately throwing us off for a few minutes. Of course there was no one there. I was highly irritated, as I was in throes of punishment.

Getting back to business, Teacher took out that evil fucking paddle. EVIL. That piece of wood is possessed by the devil, I swear. This time he started out a bit slower, but I was yelping immediately. This tender tucas couldn't take it. I bit into the pillow, I scratched on Teacher's arm, I caught myself drooling. This thing was intensely painful. Once again I started to drift, and bang, he hit this one extra tender part that made me scream, but not for mercy. I was intent on taking my punishment, my tied feet kicking as much as possible.

The paddle was put down, and then he scratched down my ass with his fingernails. You'd think this would feel good, but it was fucking intensely painful. He doesn't have creepy long nails, but there was enough that I could feel them. Then he resumed the paddling. This time I started to drift off for real.

I don't know where I got the idea, but I just assumed that subspace was the same each time. Apparently, and I confirmed this with Teacher, it is not. So while in the past I've been very much at peace through my pain, this time I was a bit more anxious and my mind was all over the place.

Still, I was able to get into the rhythm enough that something amazing happened that had never happened to me before from being spanked. I felt like I was going to orgasm.

"I think I'm going to cum" I panted out to Teacher.

"You probably will" he said, or something akin to that. I know realize I shouldn't have said anything as that threw me off focus. I generally need to focus hard to cum, but this was the opposite so I was utterly shocked, and yet I fucking ruined it!

The spanking continued for awhile longer, along with some more scratching and then I heard the whirl of the G-spotter. He burrowed the purple toy between my now pretty hairy little pussy that was still accessible, even though my legs were tied.

Wielding the purple beast, it was no too long before I was a hot little orgasmic mess. Not being able to move my legs made it even more intense. Who knows how many times I came before I ultimately collapsed. All I know was intensely satiated.

As I said in the beginning my poor Dom was on the cusp of virus city, so the antics pretty much ended there.

Walking to the elevator later on I realized how swollen my butt was. "I'm going to have to sit on a pillow all day tomorrow!!" I declared, but I most certainly was not complaining. It was much more pleasant to wake up with a sore ass, than a hangover on New Years Day!

picture from whipped ass

(ps. i know i fucked up "nowhere" but when i changed it, it screwed up the url & many sites have linked here.bad spelling vs. bad linking. a difficult choice)

Blissed Out

"When you get home I want you to do the following," Teacher told me as we finished up the last drops of our wine, "first of all, do you have any other big earrings other than hoops?"
"I think so, I'll have to go through my jewelry box."
"Wear some for me." He has a thing for big earrings, a fetish that is easy to manage, "Then I want you to take all your clothing of except for heels..."
"Are my boots OK?" I was wearing tall 5 inch black leather boots that clung to my legs like a pair of gloves.
"Yes. Also I want you to find some music you'd like to hear and put that on." That sounds easy but my idea of good music involves Marshall stacks and his involves a harpsichord. "Also, no light except your candles." I have a little makeshift altar on my dresser of various candles, from smelly votives to ones involving Jesus.
"OK" All this was a non-issue for me
"Take out the red box and put it on the edge of you bed." This is the box of our various toys,ropes,and other sexual accouterments.
"I will call you on my way over, I will give you enough time to unlock your door. You are to be waiting for me in your kneeing position."
"No problem."
We left the restaurant, he went to take care of some bs, and I went home and scrambled around for some music. I like Slayer, Teacher likes Bach. I settled on Roxy Music's "Avalon." You can't get sexier or smoother than some Bryan Ferry. I lit my candles, peeled my dress off, but fresh batteries in my vibrators and waited, and waited. I am the world's most impatient woman. I even found some pretty blue glass bead earrings to wear for him.
After what seemed forever Teacher called me. "I'm about 5 minutes away."

I went and unlocked my door.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I pretty much live in the proverbial hood. I am also very much a scaredy cat.

My apartment was dark, except for my candles, I managed my way back to my room, and got into position, kneeling, sitting on my feet, my legs spread and my palms upturned on either thigh. My head was down.

The longer I was in position, the more vulnerable I felt. I imagined someone other than Teacher walking in on me. I lock my door even to take out my garbage 15 feet away from my door, so this is something I always fear. Teacher knows that about me. A

Bathed in the glow of the candles, I felt more naked than nude. I was there for the taking. I knew in my heart that it would be Teacher coming into the room, but my mind was racing.

The door creaked, my heart started to race. I heard the footsteps coming towards my room. I was instructed to advert my gaze, so I only knew by sneaking a quick look that yes, it was Teacher in my room.

My body erupted into goosebumps as I heard him get his stuff together, at this point I was feeling very much my submissive self. He leaned down into me and kissed my neck. My feet were falling asleep underneath me, the heels of my boots digging into the flesh of my buttocks. Still, I was determined to present myself as requested.

While he did not ask me to, I closed my eyes. I am a notorious fidget, and I knew if I didn't keep my eyes closed, I would not be able to get into the right head space where I could keep myself from squirming.

In the darkness there is no time, so I don't know how long I was waiting before I felt Teacher's hand come around my neck, pulling my head towards his mouth to kiss my throat.

Still in position, he placed a leather blindfold over my already closed eyes. He tied my hands behind my back with rope and walked away. I heard him rustle around, I didn't know what was going to come next.

Every tiny hair on my body stood up as the tiny strand of leather on top of his crop trickled up and down my back, and broke out into small smacks. He kneeled behind me, lifted my blindfold, and then brought the crop in front of me to see him play my body like it was a violin, slowly wielding the leather across my breasts and around my nipples. The music that emitted was small moans from mouth and drops of wetness from my cunt.

Pulling the blindfold back down, I was escorted to another part of the room, made to bend over to accept the leather bound strikes across my ass and back. I am so accustomed to his bare handed spankings that the sting of the leather always gives me a bit of a shock. Wincing, I accepted each swat with an exhale trying to work through the pain.

My legs were willingly pushed apart by small swats of the crop, I felt myself lower my pussy so it too could be smacked all the while knowing the pain on my tender labia is the hardest to bear. Each snap made me want to crumble, but I still wanted more, but that was not to be, as the crop was laid down and Teacher worked his thick finger right into my wet cunt immediately going straight for my throbbing vaginal sponge. A master of the g-spot, he had me instantly writhing into an orgasm instantaneously. As one who has historically had a rough time getting off, this was yet another breakthrough. Perhaps if all my previous lovers had been so skilled and attentive as Teacher is with my body, then this orgasm would have been old hat, but that was not the case.

Barely catching my breath, he then inserted his cock into my pussy that was still pulsing from cumming. With each thrust, I pushed my ass back towards him so he could feel the warmth of the pain he inflicted upon me. I turned into a bit of a little beast, and could not stop myself from biting him partially as an outlet of my pleasure, and subsequently marking my territory. "X was here." He repeated the favor, and we bit and clawed at one another until he came inside me, both of us collapsing with pleasure.

My blindfold was still intact, but I was able to find my way to lay my head upon Teacher's belly. He stroked my hair, and I nodded off in a state of bliss.

photo, and more hot photos from sex & submission