The Damsel In Distress Is Back

Being a "Damsel in Distress" has been a recurring theme in this blog. Mostly as fantasy fodder, and I've even deduced it might be part of my sub puzzle.

Sometimes, though, being a distressed damsel is a total drag, like when it is reality based vs. fantasy. For instance, since I've returned from Hotlanta Teacher has had to "rescue" me several times.

First Time- Your oversexed blogger lost touch with reality over the last couple of weeks and forgot to pay her electric bill. Now normally she IGNORES her bills, but this time she honestly forgot. While waiting for the eclectic company to come turn on the lights, Teacher came over and kept me company. Which leads me to...
First Time Part 2 -The forgotten electric bill brought me negative in my bank account and I was subsequently hysterical that I was not going to be able to get to work on fumes. Teacher filled up my tank.
Second Time - A few days later I apparently left my lights on while at work and Teacher once again drove to my rescue to help me jump my car. This episode ate up a whole bunch of time we had alloted to play. Teacher has been very adamant about me getting to bed on time to be ready for work.

None of this is sexy whatsoever. But when we got back to my apartment, and I sat there gnawing on a chocolate bar Teacher brought me, I told him, "You know before I would have called 'Bob'(my platonic male bff)" .
"No you call me."
"Not now Teacher, but before we met."
"I know that X, but you always call ME first. Understand."
"But of course Teacher" He pulled off a string of caramel that was hanging from my lip and kissed me. We have been discussing his ownership of me. By default he has become my first contact for,well, anything, but I guess I need reminding sometimes.

I was kind of upset that we didn't have time to play last night as it was the first time I felt remotely sexual since last weekend's episode, and well I know I am truly deserving of some punishment. Still, I went to bed comforted in knowing that our relationship has, like the dogwood tree outside my window, blossomed this Spring.

Tick Tock

Tick Tock, I'm sitting here waiting for Teacher's cock! He's running late, so here I sit.

I did all my usual pre-visit nesting and grooming well pre play visit nesting and grooming. Poor guy surprised me earlier this week and had to see me at my most unsexy, looking like a total ragamuffin. He was good humoured about it, but I was utterly mortified.

Tonight in anticipation of his arrival I took it upon myself to lay out on a big floor cushion all the tools of our trade--the new clamps, lube, dildo, flogger, crop, cane, etc. He'll have his case of stuff, but I figured he'll appreciate that I have prepared everything ahead of time. It never fails I'm scrambling to find something for him or I'm wishing he'd used something on me, but I had it squirreled away. Out of site out of mind. He's very tolerant of my ADHD, more than most, but if I can do even just one thing to have it not interfere with our evening, I will. If any of you Doms or Dommes reading this are topping a ADHD sub, God Bless you. I know we must be more of a challenge than your regular run of the mill "normal" (cough-cough) sub. I would imagine it is like trying to wrangle a wild animal.

It also dawned on me that I made it the entire week without masturbating. It wasn't on purpose, it just was. I think though, that will be a positive thing later on when we get down to business.

Must go get in position.

Transition

This is definitely a transitional period.

Teacher, as I have mentioned, has put the bug in my ear about considering taking our BDSM out of the bedroom, to expand my horizons as a sub, for us to be able to evolve to a a deeper D/s relationship.

If I have learned anything the past couple of months with Teacher is to be patient. I am so fucking antsy, anxious, impulsive, and impatient that within the first couple of weeks of us hanging out I was wondering when this would occur. Little did I know I was not ready at the time. Having spent my entire life in a rush, and rarely following through on anything I start, being able to see the results of us slowly build upon each meeting, each lesson has been a major area of growth. For you long time readers, you know I gave up counting my lessons quite some time ago. When I started this blog I did think that it was going to be like that, merely lessons-"Lesson A--spanking, Lesson B--bondage," but that has not been the case, and in this moment I am here to say I am glad that Teacher was not hurried, and I am glad I chose to follow his lead and be patient. I know I've ruined many a romantic, albeit vanilla, situation in the past by being impatient.

I am still "sub nouveau" there is no doubt in my mind, but I am increasingly becoming less "sub naive." When I first reached out into the sea of strangers to seek out knowledge of this artful way of living, I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into and I certainly didn't expect to meet such a wonderful person.

Today I mentioned to Teacher via email, that I was considering joining a gym, with my goal being able to have more stamina and flexibility, not to mention getting myself into shape. I am not a big woman, but I am not tiny either. Zaftig, majorly top heavy, with some nice gams. My problem is I fucking HATE to exercise. Well go figure that Teacher had joined the gym I was going to join just yesterday. I was concerned he wouldn't want me to be in his space, but quite the contrary. In fact, it appears a fitness regime is going to be part of our first foray into my submission to him outside of our regular trysts. We are to discuss this in more detail in person, but I already think I'm cool with it. I feel totally comfortable about my body with him, and he has never spoken negatively about my appearance. From what I am gathering from our correspondence, this is more about my long-term health, and as he put it "to be honest, my intention with all these homilies about health and diet, is not to be preachy or altruistic. I want you in better shape so I can use you harder and longer and you want that too." Meow! Yer darn tootin'!

We're to meet tomorrow night. I have oodles of questions for him. What has piqued my interest more than anything is "punishment" vs. regular play, and what to expect.

He's never seen "Secretary" but all day I thought about James Spader having Maggie Gyllenhaal eat her four peas, spoonfull of potatoes and all the ice cream she wanted. When I first saw that movie, I didn't think that was sick like the friend who watched the movie with me, but very sexy. To surrender myself to Teacher, I think will be a beautiful thing.

So in this transition, I am getting closer to the submissive experience I had been yearning for all these years whether I knew it or not.

photo from "the training of o"