"Can you handle it little one?"
"Yesss..." My eyeballs were rolling back in my head. I wasn't sure I could handle it, but I was going to handle it
whether I liked it or not. I'm game for anything, I won't let a little pain stop me on the way to a possible orgasm.
Thing is, I didn't know WHAT I was handling, or moreso how many fingers I was handling until I felt my cunt stretch around the width of
Mark's hand.
It went from a run of the mill pussy eating, to a pretty sweet finger banging ("fanger" as my friend & I used to joke), to getting dry fisted.
Well I was not dry, my pussy was nice and lubed from all the other work, but his hand was bone dry. His hairy knuckles were already deep inside me, I flailed around as my muscles clenched around his digits.
"They don't call it snatch for nothin'" I joked with him later on, "my cunt snatched up your hand!"
The feeling of getting fisted is quite different than getting fucked by a large dick, unless you have had the pleasure of being fucked by a dick with the girth of a deli bologna.
You feel the walls of your vagina being spread and prodded, your g-spot gets kneaded over and over.
Motherfucker is a counter. It drives me crazy. "How many times did you come."
"I don't know."
I didn't. I came at least three times, but when I'm in that multiorgasmal state, I kind of just consider it one big ass orgasm that goes and goes.
"At least three times."
That satisfied him. Hell, I was satisfied. I'm just a writer, not a mathamatician.
"Well, now it is my turn."
My cunt was red and raw from the fisting, but I was more than willing to get fucked by his sweet cock.
I put my legs over his shoulders and he slid his prick into my wet and stretched out pussy. Both of us were dripping wet with sweat. As he fucked my my tits slammed against my face. This happens anytime I get fucked this way.
What was that old joke about Dolly Parton jump roping and getting black eyes, I swear that is going to happen to me one day, or I am going to get smothered to death by my own breasts.
Breastesses.
I've meditated on this before, but what the fuck, my two favorite parts of intercourse are the beginning and the end. I love the feeling upon first entry of a dick, and I love the feeling of when my partner cums.
Except I don't count.
Tuesday
The Mathematician
Sunday
Damaged Lovers
Crazy. Both of us. Certifiable with medical records to prove it.
On the crazy scale I'm about a 6 and he's about a 9.
"Sickness attracts sickness," someone once told me, and they were fucking accurate.
Damaged.
Some of it happened during shipping, but most of it happened upon arrival.
Eccentric.
Creative.
Lunatics.
Both of us.
---------
I'm exhausted, so fucking exhausted as I write, but I want to write now not later. I am having a lot of confusion right now, a lot of stuff I'm refraining from sharing because it is too complex and some I need to run by Teacher first.
------------------
So I meet up with Mark prior to going out on the town. His roommates were not around and we had the house to ourselves, meaning I didn't have to worry about being loud. We always have
the music blasting, but still. Things went from zero to sixty in like two seconds. We were making out and then the next thing I know he slaps me across the face, he rips of my clothes, bites my neck and tugs at my hair. My mouth is directed towards hard cock. I lick and suck his swollen prick.
'Want me to fuck your face?"
"Whaha" Who can really talk with dick in the mouth? I can't.
My skull is grabbed and his cock hits the back of my throat again and again.
He gives me a moment to breath and then hits my tonsils again.
I'm a slut.
We fuck like animals, it was the kind of fucking where you just get into that groove where you become one entwined sweaty mass of fuck. We moved from a soft slow rythm, to him drilling my cunt like there's oil up dem dare hills. I see stars. I come like a monster. The luxury of being loud I take advantage of and moan from the depth of my gut.
I start to come again and he joins me, I feel him shake above me and release.
A few moments of post coital tenderness.
We must smoke outside.
"My heart is racing" Mark says as he gets dressed. I just am sitting there spaced out.
"Are you alright X?"
"Yeah, I am just a little out of it." Apparently getting your brains fucked out is not a euphemism.
---
We are out the bar, I'm waiting for my first drink. We mutually agree that we're both still a bit out of it. "Now that is a good natural high."
Yes it is. Too bad I don't stop at that.
Drink
Drank
Drunk.
Just me.
Not him.
He can hold his liquor.
Not I.
There are moments of tumult. I apparently think I can drive. He, thankfully does not agree.
We argue about this that and the other on the cab ride back to my apartment.
I say something that pisses him off, the shit gets emotional, he tells me some heavy shit.
"What about your shit X, you never tell me your shit."
I tell him why I'm crazy.
I cry. I'm mad because I cried.
Volatile both of us. We can explode at any second.
The whole thing is crazy and I know it, but that's how I roll.
The fighters fuck.
"You want me to fuck you in the ass X?"
"Uh-huh"
"You know we couldn't do it before, you really want me to fuck you in the ass."
He was too big for me before, I couldn't make it past the head of his cock.
"Yes, I want you to fuck me in the ass!"
"You want me to fuck you in the ass?"
"Yes, yes, fuck me in the god damned ass!"
Being the sick person I am, I'm determined. Pain schmain.
My ass, his dick are lubed.
"You're not just getting the cock in the ass X, you're going to have this in your pussy while I fuck you."
I had just acquired a curved glass g-spot dildo.
DP=Double Pain
If you're going to be a slut, you better do it fucking right. Right?
The Jack Daniels is still floating around in my system and has properly done its job and numbed my asshole. It wouldn't have mattered at that moment.
My grave was dug. I brought the shovel.
It fucking hurt like a motherfucker, but I rode the pain and I rode the cock.
Mind over matter.
It pays to have a tight snatch. The dildo stayed in place and banged along with they rhythm of his cock.
Do your Kegels ladies. Every red light.
Pain coupled with pleasure is the name of the game.
The double stuffed cunt did the job and provided me with an orgasm.
----
I wake up.
He's snoring.
My head, my body, my ass are throbbing in time.
Teacher.
I was supposed to call Teacher.
See blog below
Thursday
Bitch In Heat Part 2 -The Power of Pussy
My evening wasn't exactly over with Mark. After our session, we went out to a local bar to drop off some CDs. Oh it is a small world, while were there I ran into a Mr. Badnews, this dumb ass drug dealer dude I used to hook up with back in the day. He was a decent fuck, but I always regretted my times with him because ultimately we'd end up somewhere unsavory with unsavory people doing unsavory things. Mr. Badnews has long black hair and olive skin, part Native American and part asshole. I've gone from telling him to fuck off to laying around naked in his apartment doing lines of coke off a record cover to telling him to fuck off. We exchanged hellos and gave each other the "yep, we fucked a look." I was in the midst of catching up with him when I felt on a tap on my shoulder being beckoned by Mark to get ready to leave. Oh, but the world is much smaller than that, then as we walked towards the exit I ran into another dude, this one I had a huge crush on in college. He used to look like Bono. Now he looks like Mr. Clean. Anyway my crush came to fruition one disappointing night where he rubbed my clit so fucking hard it was raw the next day. He was determined to make me cum and I was too young and stupid to tell him to give it up.
Mark wanted to hook up again, but I knew Teacher would be waiting for my call. I bid Mark adieu and drove home, excited, nervous, and very aroused.
--------------
I sat outside my apartment smoking waiting for Teacher's headlights to reflect from the windows on the house across the street. As he approached I felt a huge smile spread across my body. "This is fucking insane" I thought to myself, but hey you only live once.
Teacher had a big shit eating grin and I broke out in giggles.
"How's my little slut"
Oh, he knew, boy did he ever know. He gave me a big hug, and a bigger kiss. As we kissed I felt safe and happy that I was with a man so open-minded. Or let's make it a man who been encouraging me to embark on various sexual adventures and helping me realize that my promiscuous tendencies are not a bad thing at all. In a nutshell a Dom who has taught me to embrace my inner slut. My outer slut as well. While I'm under Teacher's control I'm learning how to have other men under MY control on a certain level.
I'm kicking myself for not writing this part of the blog last night because my dear Dom was chock full of one liners last night that have seemed to have vanished down the drain with the sweat and sperm. He spoke of how he was happy to see me happy and to realize what I am doing is a good thing. He, like myself, was also glad to have happy X back. After two weeks of feeling assy it was good to be on an even keel.
It wasn't too long before Teacher had me undressed and was sucking on my nipples, his forte. Immediately I felt myself get wet and it wasn't long before he had me four on the floor, my ass in the air waiting for him to slip his cock in my cunt. I felt both his hands grasp my neck and I gasped for air and plunged his prick in while releasing his grip on my throat. I knew it was not going to be that long came and I did so fucking hard the muscles of my pussy pushed is cock out of me.
He wasn't going to give me a break. He had me lay down with my legs apart, I though he was going to go down on me, but no he had other ideas. Fisting.
I think I've mentioned this before, but Teacher's got some big ol' hands. Giant mitts. Two of his fingers equal a healthy sized cock. Dousing my already wet cunt with lube, he put one, two, then three digits in sideways and I buckled. "Try four, I can take it." OW! It hurt. It hurt good. From what he told me later on, there was no way a thumb was going to make it in, but that was fine with me. As he twisted and turned in my cunt, he pressed down on my mons with his free hand. I was in eyeball rolling back in the head heaven, coming strongly gripping him harder than his own handshake.
Still no break, Teacher wanted more of my cunt. He laid me on my side, taking me in the spooning position, which with his angled cock is perfect for hitting me right where it counts. As he rammed back and forth, I reached back and held on to his thighs. I'm a leg girl. I love strong legs and Teacher has some. I was on the verge of coming, but he beat me to the chase, which considering how awesome my night was, there was no need to be greedy. I felt his body tighten up behind me, and he grabbed my throat once again rendering me breathless as he came inside me.
When we were done. I sat up on the edge of the bed. "I feel drunk."
I did. I was full of adrenaline, racing endorphins, raging hormones (my own and the shit in the Red Bull), nicotine, caffeine, spit, come, blood and sweat. How the hell I managed to write the first part of the blog is beyond me.
-----------------------
This morning I could barely walk into my office and about an hour into work I started daydreaming about the night before and felt myself get aroused. It was a long day, but the moment I got home, I dropped my bags at the door, tore off my clothes and fucked myself real good. Everyone is hot for me, including myself, and that is a good thing!
Bitch In Heat - Part 1
This bitch has had her period this week and all the dogs have been sniffing around, trying to jump over the fence.
Upon getting permission from Teacher yesterday to see Mark tonight he said, "Sure, but I want to see you afterward."
"OK" I was a bit confused as I've never seen them on the same night.
"Don't worry, I won't be to rough with you."
"Ohhhhh..." Master of the Obvious here took a few moments to realize that Teacher wanted to fuck me after I had been fucked by Mark. Must be a guy thing I figured.
"Now X, just to let you know this is not a competition, I told you the other night I when I want you, I have you and I want you tomorrow night."
"Yes Sir."
"Now you are not to tell Mark that you are seeing me. I am flexible about the time, but I am going to see you no matter how late." He's a night owl, that's why we get along so well.
As soon as he hung up I started wondering how I was going to work this out logistically. It already felt like it was going to be "Three's Company 2008." I've never fucked two guys on the same day, much less had two dates. Mark had already mentioned doing out to a local nightspot as well as staying at my apartment. He's a very persuasive person, and I had already realized earlier in the week that I was going to have to learn to say "No" to him, something that is hard for a pleaser such as myself. But, I recalled reading some where that setting time limits and saying "No" to dudes sometimes works to your advantage, so I came up with some semi-legit reason for making it an early night.
--------------------
Lunchtime today I bought two cans of Red Bull. I had the mental energy, but I was afraid of being exhausted having had very little sleep. The last thing I wanted to do was be a dead fuck for both of my men.
---------------------------
Ran home from work, took a shower, and drove over to Mark's house. It was nice to see his face, it had been awhile. We spent some time listening to the demos of his new album and catching up. He had asked me to bring my new gag over, so I took it out and showed him, as well as gave him some of the condoms I picked up at the conference. It wasn't too long before he had me on his bed kissing on me, nibbling on my ears and throat. While I trust him, being a non-Dom, I made sure he put the gag on just right so I could pop it out of my mouth if I had to do as such. A girl's got to protect herself, right?
Gag in place, my rocker turned into an animal and ripped off my red push-up bra and pulled off my panties. He slapped me across the right cheek and I saw stars, immediately I was moaning. He gnawed on the back of my neck and I yelped into the rubber ball. It felt so fucking good. He had me face down, doggy-style and started ramming his thick cock into me like it was going out of style, pulling my hair with both hands and moaning my name. My cunt contracted around his cock in orgasm, I thrust my ass back towards him for more and he smacked my ass with each thrust, the orgasm didn't stop and I keep coming over and over as he tore my pussy up. As he came, he had his arms around my neck choking me as he tensed and groaned. We collapsed into a sweaty sated puddle.
After a few smokes and a couple of records, Mark was ready for round two. "Want more cock or me to eat your pussy?"
He didn't wait for me to answer, which is style. "I want to eat your pussy."
Who was I to argue.
"You dont' mind me being on my period and all."
"Baby, I'm a vampire."
Right On!
I've written on here before that I think it is cool when guys are not squeamish about period sex, but to have a guy go down on you while you're menstruating is so fucking filthy, and so goddamned sexy because it is so dirty.
"Now get those fucking clothes off." I obliged and laid back and spread my legs open for his tongue. I've had many a guy go down on me, and well most do a rotten job, but I must say this guy has the skills. Like Teacher he knows his way around a pussy, and I was overjoyed when he pulled the hood of my clit back to get down to Grand Nerve Central. As he licked and sucked at my cunt, I pulled at his hair and pulled on my nipple with my free hand. As I came, it was all I could do not to smother him with my thighs.
As satisfied as I was, I was scared he'd wanted to go for another round as I had to save some of my energy for Teacher. "Alright, let's go to the bar."
Whew
-----------
Tomorrow, Part 2, Teacher Fucks His Proud Slut.
Tuesday
Fuckmeat
I've attempted numerous times to try to condense my last two weeks of debauchery into one big dirty post. It is impossible. Had I been smart, I would have posted daily, but alas I didn't. I give up. I'll just start in the middle.
With Teacher's blessing, I've been fucking around with Mark, quite a lot. The dude is fucking crazy, but that makes me want to fuck him more.
The second time we fucked, things were much more active than our inital session.
He, unlike Teacher, is not very much into foreplay, but that said somehow it is ok with him. He makes up for it in dirty talk and a big cock. He gnawed all over me, the back of my neck, my chest, my ears as he fucked me from behind. The same night he slapped me across the face as he fucked me, he also slapped my tits, and held me down in a chokehold as he fucked me into a multiple orgasmic frenzy. The most bizzare thing happened though, it was not the chokehold that made me lose my breath, at some point during this rough session, i lost my breath and blacked out for a second. I chalked it up to the most active fucking I've experienced in ages coupled with some intense orgasms. When were through the windows in his bedroom were fogged, we were drenched with sweat, and both our eyeglasses fogged up when we put them back on. I woke up the next morning sore and black & blue. My tit still has a bruise the size and color of a liver.
====
"Come over and let me eat your pussy before I play." Mark is a musician. "I love going out smelling like cunt." Not only did he go down on me, but proceeded to fist me, my first time experiencing this. It didn't take me long to come, my muscles clenched his entire hand almost instantly. "I'm not going to wash my hands." As he played that night, I sat there watching with a smile, knowing that as he sang the essence of my cunt co-mingled with his sweat. He dragged me back to his place that night and proceeded to fuck me once more.
====
"All I ask X is that you ask my permission to go see Mark," Teacher said to me last night. I have yet to lose my Vanilla guilt programing. "May I go see Mark Monday night?"
"Yes you may"
Tonight our sex was nothing to write home about, but I was able to get him off via a blow job and as I swallowed his cum, I felt satisfied knowing that I had suceeded where apparently many women had failed before. I always am afraid I'll lose my blow job chops. If I didn't have a mouth full of jizz, I would have let out a sigh of relief
___
"Fuckmeat" Teacher called me the other night. He's enjoying me catting around. Tonight he asked me "Do you feel like a slut?"
"I always feel like a slut."
"I guess I'd be more of a slut if I fucked both of y'all the same night."
"I can come over." Oh fuck.
"Ha!Ha!" he laughed. He knew I couldn't handle it tonight.
"You know what Teacher? What would be probably the most slutty if both you guys gave me a creampie the same day. Now THAT would be slutty."
_______
"Sunday night your ass is MINE." Teacher informed me the other day.
I was fine with that. Sundays have been our night for a long time and I missed him terribly.
We spent a lot of time discussing my current dalliance, and well folks in the midst of our conversation, Teacher let out the "L" bomb! Yep, he didn't say "I love you x" directly, but in the course of discussing something. "You just said you loved me!" I kissed him. "You know I kind of knew you did, but was never expecting you to say as such and I figured that was OK."
Teacher showed me his love via a barehanded spanking after fucking me to orgasm. I was already exhausted, so that coupled with the orgasm the pain of the spanking dissapated very quickly and I ended up in a very sleepy-state like subspace. I would not be surprised if I was drooling. When Teacher was trying to rouse me from la-la land I had a hard time making a complete sentence.
----
Fucking has other benefits besides orgasm. I have also lost almost 10 lbs the last two weeks. I have felt incredibly sexy, and have enjoyed feeling the increasing tautness of my ass and hips. But, I am incredibly, incredibly tired. It has been hard to keep up with my basic stuff-like my blog, laundry, and even my tv shows! But the laundry and the tv can wait, my blog is much more important.
Wednesday
The Other Lover and My Love
Lots and lots of catching up to do my readers.
So not long ago I met a guy I'll call "Mark" at my local hipster watering hole. He caught my eye the minute I walked in, it wasn't that he was ultra hot, but that he had some some unique glasses and just a very rock'n'roll aura about him. Having slept with my fair share of musicians, I have a good radar for these types of dudes. Of course at the bar as I was at, anywhere I turned I was in spitting distance from some musician or another.
I mentioned to one of my girls that I thought he was cute, and she suggested I tell him I like his glasses. I poo-poohed the idea and went back to my cocktail, and my evening. Later on I turned around to see him walk by and flashed him a smile, and quickly turned back around. A few minutes later he came over to me "I like your glasses," he said I too, wear some pretty non-conventional frames. Ends up he's a new dude in town.
From the first word it was obvious that he was a slick motherfucker, with major game. After some quick chit-chat getting to know one another, it ended up that we had numerous friends in common. Our social microcosms, despite being 1000s of miles apart overlap. So he flirted with me as I sipped on my drink, "can I get your number, we should hang out sometime." I honestly hesitated, as Teacher was the first person I thought about. I knew giving this guy my number could feasibly lead me to some trouble. Before he left, I had slipped of my glasses and he commented on my eyes, "They're the color of sweet tea." Awww. "Your have pretty lips too." Before I had a chance to thank him, he gave me a quick kiss on the mouth and ran out the door. I swooned the whole way home.
Meanwhile, my girlfriends took it upon themselves to tell me that they thought he was bad news. I, though already knew that from some of the information he gave me about himself and his troubled past. That made me like him more.
Guilt overwhelmed me for having any sort of feelings for another man besides Teacher. The next day I told him "There is a guy who wants to hang out with me."
"Go for it."
"Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"X, you are a young woman. I can only give you so much of my time. Go out with him, you have a lot in common."
"Really Teacher?"
"Have fun. Now if you start want to having a relationship with him, that is an entirely different issue."
"But Teacher, you know if you did the same thing I would be fucking livid. You know how I am."
Have I mentioned Teacher has a fat cow that refuses to go to pasture? She's no threat, just on my time. I'm her threat.
I just didn't' want to set myself up to be a hypocrite.
Now while I heard everything Teacher said, I still couldn't wrap my little mind around it, much less I was in a relationship where I could even bring another person up. Still, I didn't have the ovaries to tell him that I was going to see him the next day and made up some ridiculous story about bowling.
Mark texted and called me the next day. He's a high strung guy, not the insightful listener I have found Teacher to be. But then, this was not going to be about talking I had a feeling. Once my girls got wind that I was going to meet up with this dude, they started razzing me about how I was going to hop into bed with him very quickly. Instead of arguing that I wouldn't, I opted to let my freak flag fly and told them "you're damn straight I'm going to fuck him." They know I'm a slut, but not to the extent of my sluttery.
I'm not in high school my readers, I'm a grown woman and this is my sexual prime. I never want to look back with a withered cunt and an estrogen patch wishing I had enjoyed myself while I had the chance.
Bowling, I did not go. But I did go meet up with Mark. Our chit-chat was minimal. He put on some loud tunes, and threw me down and kissed me. As I told Teacher, it was not the sweet soulful kisses I get from him, but purely animalistic. It was also a tad awkward as we didn't really have any "getting to know you" here's how I operate action. It was zero to 60 in under a minute.
He gave me a few moment to admire his tattoos, and then started ripping off my clothes.
"I'm totally into big asses and big tits," he growled
"You're in right place my friend" I said looking him right in the eyes. He pulled my bra down and admired my breasts. "Those are some gorgeous tits" I, once again, thanked my two girls silently.
"I want to eat that sweet pussy of yours darlin," and he pushed me down on his bed, and pulled my panties down, tossing them aside.
He went to work, parting the lips of my cunt, and properly pulling them back to reveal my taut clit. With skill he licked and sucked, and darted tongue in and out, fucking my pussy with his tongue for quite some time. I had just started digging it when he stopped. "Baby, I love eating you pussy, but right now I just want to fuck. I'm going to eat you out some more later."
"Actually first I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours."
So right then my vanilla cone fell on the floor and got dirty. Hmm, I thought, this might be more interesting than I thought.
He pulled his jeans off. I was not surprised that he was going commando, as it seems to be de rigueur for all the pervy rockers I've ever fucked.
Mark had a very ample sized cock. Very. It was thick, long, and smooth. Not too veiny. In retrospect I guess he did shave around that area, as the rest of him is pretty hairy, but not in a gross way. He is much shorter than Teacher, not buff by any means, just a regular dude, but definitely with sex appeal.
Being the cumslut that I am, I willingly opened my mouth to for the first taste of this new cock. He held my head still as he drove his thickness in and out, ultimately subsiding to let me do my work. As I worked him with my tongue, I thought about my training with Teacher. How lucky this dude was to have a slut as skilled as I was sucking his dick. I gagged as I attempted to take him down my throat, and I could tell he loved the show, groaning, looking very satisfied.
Where the segue way from sucking cock to getting fucked is a blur, but I know I ensured he put on a condom, as Teacher and I have been fucking bareback since forever. Also, I know I was on all fours as he drove his cock into me for the first time. "How do you like that cock, you filthy bitch?" I could do nothing but gasp as his size made my cunt ache.
So Mark is fucking the shit out of me, when he stops and spanks my ass. I yelped. He spanked me again. Not a tap or a smack, but a big old wallop. My actual words have escaped me, but I know I told him how much I dug being spanked.
"You like it rough huh, X"
"Mmmmm"
He proceed to spank me, then fuck me, spank, and fuck. I started to lean down on my arms when I felt my head being yanked up by my hair. Oh yeah!
With both hands he held onto my hair, pulling my head back as he pounded into me. As I started to come, I must have been loud, because he pushed my head back down. "You've got to be quiet" (due to his living situation.)
Of course being me, I didn't mind having my head pushed down as he fucked both of us to orgasm, it just made it even hotter.
We were a sweaty mess afterwards, smoking, and he said "So you liked this spanking, huh" Oh yeah, mind you this cat is still hard, I'm trying not to climb back on him.
"Yep."
"I always end up with the submissive ones."
My mouth just fell to the floor. Mind you this dude has no idea that I am anyone's sub, no word of BDSM has been spoken. I don't even think he's officially a lifestylist, but as Teacher said, just a kinkster.
"Why do you think that is?"
"I'm just a dominant dude." That I don't know exactly, as he's not stereotypically macho, but he no wallflower either.
Still, I don't mention my whole story about being a sub, I just let it be. In case you have not been reading this blog long, or may not remember, part of my finding Teacher was inquiring about how anyone would know a sub is a sub, like on the street. This once again just confirmed to me that I'm truly acting upon my nature.
We went for round two. Knowing, though, this time my proclivities, Mark was a bit rougher. This time the spanks were harder, the hair tugged on a bit rougher, his thrusts stronger and he even slapped my face, which caught me off guard, and I liked. Though Teacher has never done as such and I don't think it is his style.
When the evening was over and Mark walked me to my car, he said, "So you're into kinky sex huh."
"Yep"
"Maybe next time I can tie you up. Would you like that?"
I just smiled.
--------
So I'm all sated, having enjoyed myself, but the whole night I was in mental torment. Teacher had said it was OK for me to hang out with him, but never did mention me fucking him. Then I started thinking about what he'd think about Mark tying me up. I decided that it that was brought up I was going to tell Mark that right now I only trust one person to tie me up. I would to need to truly find out this guys experience with this. I don't need to lose any limbs.
When Teacher came by the following night I came clean. He chuckled and was not one iota upset with me. "I want you to enjoy yourself X. I am very proud of you for being a slut."
I couldn't believe my ears. We had some pretty heavy conversations about the whole thing, and yet still I was feeling utterly guilty.
"I want to write about my experience in my blog, but I don't' want to hurt your feelings."
"You won't X. There is nothing you can do to make me take away your broadband connection."
We cracked up. I'm using his computer and Internet service.
"So I can be explicit."
"I want you to be."
I had to be 100% honest.
I uttered something I have yet to say to him.
"Teacher, I have to tell you something I swore I would never say to you first and I don't' want you to feel obligated to reciprocate."
"OK"
"The whole reason why I am in turmoil about this is not only because I respect you, but because..because I love you." I think I was holding my breath. "I think you already know that but I never wanted to say that."
"I always took your word "adore" as carefully chosen.
He kissed me and hugged me, and all was good in the universe.
Tuesday
Empowerment Through Pain
Teacher.
I was still in my writing head space and nowhere near being in sub mode, in fact quiet the opposite. Having not realized how much time had passed, I did not even had a chance to get myself into position. While Teacher said he didn't mind, I missed an opportunity to start to relax.
As I watch him unpack his case and lay lengths of rope down on my bed it became evident that I was very keyed up and not ready to play. Teacher must have realized this as he sat down and patted the space next to him for me to sit. He lit us both a cigarette. We discussed my BDSM wishlist, he told me things that surprised him --knife play to the point of drawing blood, to things that are possible in the near future -group sex.
Teacher had me stand up and put my arms behind my back, and he started to bind my arms. "Ummm..No."
"Huh?"
"X, I know you want to wear the opera gloves, but your proportions are not going to allow this to happen. Those are for people who can put their arms behind their backs and touch their elbows."
I pouted.
"We'll do this with your arms up." I held my wrists out and he coiled the ropes in a way I had not seen him do before. The rope went around my wrists, around my thighs, and around my ankles, with a long strand that separated my labia around to my ass. "Are you doing Shibari Teacher?" As I felt like I was starting to look like I was being bound in a macramé plant holder. He laughed, and went on to explain that if he did what it would look like. From his explanation I am under the impression that it does not seem like something he'd be into, he's more into the practical than artistic.
Still, I felt beautiful in the ropes. Teacher had me get on my knees with my hands outstretched with my ass handy for him to destroy.
Life has been rough and I had been clamoring to escape myself to such an extent that I must have dove right in. From the moment I felt the first sting of his hand against my flesh I was an entirely different being.
Teacher rotated through a battery (no pun intended) of his pain tools, from this gorgeous blue suede flogger to the crop to the fucking viper tongue interspersed with bouts of drumming on my ass like John Bonham circa Physical Graffiti.
The suede flogger fell with such a thud that there were several times that I almost though he was using his fists, but as the strands fell across my back a quick wash of relief filled my soul. Just as I started to enjoy the thwacks of blue suede Teacher employed the stingy evilness that is the viper tongue.
I was not gagged so I moaned and cursed, "Goddammit" was the word of the evening. Neither was I blindfolded, but my eyes were clamped shut. My sense of smell for some reason was in overdrive. The ropes on my wrists smelled like a hardware store with a top note of fresh paint. Like a huffer with an aerosol can and a paper bag, I inhaled the rope scent. Bondage after all is my drug.
Teacher was truly whipping, flogging, beating me like he has never done before. Using my safe word occurred to me, but apparently it manifested in me squirming away from his strike.
"Keep your ass still X!" Teacher commanded. I did as told for what it seemed like forever, and I focused my damnedest on not moving. I don't know if Teacher stopped, or I flatted down on the bed first but I just lost it, completely hysterically crying:
"I can't do anything right," I wailed.
"That is not true X," Teacher said pulling me into his arms.
"No, I can't do anything right Teacher" Oh man I was hyperventilating. When I have a bout of hysterics I don't fuck around.
"What are you talking about?"
"I..moved my ass and you told me not to move my ass."
"X, I told you to lay down" Apparently he had told me I could move my ass, but those cries of self-loathing were in all actuality in reference to my anger at my current situation. We both knew that. Teacher knew I needed the catharsis and he took me there, and then like a good Dom he both soothed me and then took advantage of my vulnerability.
Teacher, as I have often teased him, is prone to dacryphilia . My tears brought forth a hard cock as he worked on soothing me.
As my tears dried he worked on pumping both nipples with the syringe pump and the attached the chain tweezer clamps to either one. With a set of alligator clamps he attached one to one of my pussy lips and held on to the other side of the clamp, pulling on them as he worked at sucking on my extremely erect and sensitive nipples.
The more Teacher licked and chewed, the wetter I became. He released the clamps and started kneading my entire pussy. Once again I learned a new thing about my body, as he squeezed at my cunt like it was a ball of dough, I felt my orgasm arise from not clit central or even within my vagina, but from the outside, specifically the center of my mound. Holy crap even as I write this I am feeling my cunt twitch, as it was such a deliciously intense feeling and one of those orgasms that is not just a quick pulse, but a full-on explosion that renders your entire being utterly in ecstasy.
I was still coming as Teacher stood over me and shoved his thick cock in my mouth, greeting my tongue with a taste of pre-cum. As I was laying on my back he chose to fuck my mouth versus me sucking on his dick. Having your face fucked is so fabulously filthy isn't it? He slammed his meat in and out of my mouth, taking stabs at insides of cheek and back of my throat, while his balls slapped against my head.
Just when I though he was going to unload he flipped me over, dragged me towards him and stuck his cock into my puddle of wetness. Teacher felt harder than normal, or perhaps I felt tighter than normal, but all I know is I loved the fullness of him as he lay into me.
He must have felt my cunt starting to contract..
"Come on my cock you slut" he growled, pulling on head back, still fucking away.
"Come on my cock!" he commanded and then paused to feel my cunt muscles twitch. The dirty talk and the idea of my muscles grabbing onto his dick made me orgasm as told.
"That is a good girl," he said grinding into me, scratching at the rawness of where he had beat on me. I was on the cusp of coming again when he took that final plunge, all the while holding my wrists down to the bed.
I love to feel my baby come, I truly do.
When all was said and done, I looked down at the wreckage on my floor and saw the paddle. "You didn't use that did you?"
"No"
"I didn't think so, thank G-d." As much as I like being spanked and whipped, I'm also starting to honestly hate some of these implement. "You know Teahcer, that flogger, it made me feel like I was walking through a car wash with all those flaps and brushes smacking me."
..........
Today I was able to tackle my visit with EVIL without crying. While I dealt with Satan & Co., I felt the heat on my ass from my beating and I felt a whole lot stronger than I would have ever imagined.
Pillow Talk
Teacher and I had a pretty sickly sweet evening of fawning and pawing at each other. It had been a few days since we had seen each other and well, I guess we honestly missed one another.
So we're all snuggling, nibbling, and staring into one another's eyes when he just yanked my top down to reveal my breasts. Well actually the rest of my breasts as I was wearing a pretty low-cut shirt and a push up bra.
With his mouth he latched on to my right nipple and went to town. Sucking, biting and tweaking it and I felt little sparks flying in my panties and had stars in my eyes. I've never come from straight up nipple play, but this was getting me pretty fucking close.
I guess he either got bored or heard me breathing hard because he unzipped my pants and shoved his hands down my panties, straight to my now sensitive little pleasure nub. You know I always write about how cool Teacher is, and well I know no one is perfect, but if there is one thing that I think makes him a wonderful lover is that he not only tries to figure out what turns me on by exploration or taking my cues, but that he remembers.
So that he remembered where my most sensitive part of my clitoris was, well I was more than happy. As he maneuvered his thumb and forefinger around my clit, rolling it back and forth like a marble, I found myself gnawing on his shoulder (He's called me a vampire before.) Why is it that the moment before you come is like the most amazing and difficult time all jumbled together? But that fucking realize, holy shit. It wasn't long before I came an eyes rolling in the back of your head orgasm. It wasn't long either before Teacher commanded "Get down on your knees over here." No arguments there.
He slid his very firm cock right in to my still spasming pussy. He's fucking away and I'm digging it, but figuring we're just having straight up vanilla sex I figured it was okay to ask for what I wanted.
"Teacher can you pull my hair?" He grabbed a handful of my locks and pushed my head down onto the bed and continued slamming me from behind. I longed to rub my clit as he did this but I couldn't fucking reach the way he had me. I don't' know if it s the mild pain or the caveman like act of hair pulling, but it always gets me hot.
Still pumping away, Teacher smashed my head into the bed even further, "You like this you filthy slut, don't you"
"Mwmwwhah" like I could speak.
"This is why you're my little cockwhore" Oh God I love dirty talk. It makes me feel, well, dirty! I had my legs up in suck a way that he held on to either foot and continued to fuck me, his nicely curved cock hitting me right in my G spot and I came once again. I think I found my new favorite position.
I felt his finishing up thrusts. As much as I love having my hair pulled and dirty talk, I love that moment right before a man comes, it is sex at is most erotic. As he shot his load, I smiled and savored the moment of his finally pumps spilling himself inside me.
This was the perfect sex for me, and perhaps because it is a sub girly thing. We had that initial connection, all mushy and stuff and then he used me like the dirty cumslut that I am.
Sunday
Viper
After he hung up the phone, I ran to my bedroom, tore off my clothes, and put on my new boots. Dressed, or rather under dressed, I ran around lighting candles and dragged a big cushion to the foyer. I called him back, "The door is open." Usually this is a prearranged situation, as I have mentioned previously he's instructed me to leave my door unlocked and be ready to present myself. This time I decided to do it on my own volition.
There in the darkness, in front of my door, I kneeled in my presentation position until my feet went numb, then I rearranged myself on all fours and just practiced breathing. The breathing allowed me to unwind a bit and I began to feel at peace. When my knees grew weary, I went back to my presentation position. How long I sat there, I am unsure, but when he opened the door, I could not help myself but look up. Teacher looked shocked to see me as such, as he did not request me to do so. He put his keys down, and crouched down to my level, and lifted my head up by the chin and kissed me. Immediately I started sobbing. It was one of those moments where my submission felt tactile, real.
"What is wrong X?"
"I...," I stammered through the tears "I don't know."
Honestly at that second, I was unsure myself. He led me to my room. I hugged on him for a long time, feeling so safe against my baby's chest. "I guess I felt like I disappointed you, not being available." He laughed. I told him the truth, how I had turned off the phone and why. He knows how I feel, and how I obsess about things, so I think he understood. I am such a stereotypical emotional woman at times it makes me want to puke. It ended up that he had a very rough day, and that is why he sounded so weary when we had spoken.
So we hung out for a long time smoking and talking, oh yes, he loved the boots! Then I remembered what I had hanging amongst my belts. "Ooh, I have something to show you!" I wiggled my way over to the closet,"I got something new to review. It is called a "Viper's Tongue" and I added my own snake hiss sound-effect that was more amusing than sexy. "I'm going to need your opinion as well since you'll be wielding it, not me."
I handed it to him, and silly me since he didn't have his case with him, I just assumed he'd probably take a few swings and we'd really use it another time. So I got myself on all fours and stuck out my ass for him to test out the Viper's Tongue. Before I go on, I must note that since we've met I've only experienced a leather flogger a few times as his stuff had been stolen not long after we started my lessons, so really most of my leather/flesh experience has been from the riding crop.
So my ass is out and I have no idea what to expect. The few initial swats at my tush were tolerable, but quickly went to me feeling like my ass was on fire. Back and forth, back and forth, up and down my tender bottom and back. Oh I was cussing up a storm, it hurt so fucking much I was pulling my own hair. At some point I grabbed an adjacent pillow and started biting into it. One day I wish to not have thin walls and nosy neighbors so I can honestly scream! He paused for a second and I though "Whew, thank God" and then he started again. I was kicking my feet like a little kid who just got punished, and I kind of felt like one as well. There was another pause and Teacher started again,but this time with his bare hands. My ass sort of was numb, but not if that makes one iota of sense, because as he laid the blows on my ass it started to feel like I was getting pummeled by his fist (I asked him later on, he wasn't). Just as I started getting used to the hands, damn if Teacher didn't switch back to the Viper's Tongue. "You're getting some great marks." I have never used my safe word with Teacher, and I came close.
As my back was to him, I was unable to see that he had cock had hardened. So he slapped down the leather to my own hide again and again, and occasionally running his fingernails down the redness, and I'm thinking of yelling for mercy when he put the flogger down long enough to pull me back onto his hard dick.
Apparently I was so focused on the blows, that I didn't realize that the rest of my body was reacting as well, because the minute his cock entered my cunt, it contracted and grasped onto his thickness and I instantly shuddered with orgasm. Teacher continued to thrust into me, balls deep, all the while flogging my oh so sore bottom! I had never felt anything like it before. Thrust, thwack. It was also a major mindfuck. One millisecond I'm overcome with arousal, and then next blip of time I'm overcome with pain. Every nerve in my body was on red alert and as Teacher took his final thrusts before shooting his load inside me, I too was groaning with yet another orgasm.
Not one to leave me alone, Teacher withdrew his cock, and using the cum that was dripping out of my pussy he started rubbing on my clit, it was already so engorged it was almost painful when he laid his finger upon it. Teacher knows my sweet spots, but last night I developed a new one, it was directly under my clit, neither right nor left, and it gentle upward strokes, this sub was writhing around as soaking cunt drenched his hands. Even as I laid down next to Teacher, I still shuddered with orgasms that were pending in the que.
When all was said and done, I reached over to feel the damage done, nice thick dotty welts where strewn across my skin. Yet again I had reached a new level in my submissiveness to Teacher. I did what came naturally, to be there prepared for him. He did not need ask, I did what I did because that is what I am to do. Not to mention, I hit new heights on the pain and pleasure scale.
I have yet to post my review for the Viper's Tongue, but I can promise you guys it will be most definitely positive.
Update: Most importantly I forgot to add that today, I could barely walk.
Saturday
Monday
Shackled
I'm one of those people who laugh at inappropriate times. Besides that, it never fails, a song will pop into my head when it is not the most opportune time.
Thursday
Stuffed Like a Turkey
Full, bloated by a sodium soaked meal ranging in color from beige to brown, it is hard to feel sexy after a day of indulging. There are plenty of meals that are sexy, but Thanksgiving is just not one of them. I'm sure green bean casserole was not how the Puritans tamed their libido, but it does the job.
Yesterday was a different story, I felt light as a feather and thanks to Mother Nature I was oozing sex. Hell I woke up with my hands down my panties. Women may not get morning wood, but my little nervy nub was ready for a rub down the minute my alarm blared in my ear. If Teacher had not blessed me with his company, well I am certain I would have spent the night having a one-woman orgasm party.
Folks, I am unsure what is in the air, but the last two times I've spent with him we've had the most fucking intense, well, fucking. It was like we've amped up our intimacy. Monday our flavor was primary vanilla, but I did not complain. I was told I was being "coquettish" and you know he just brings that out in me. I do tend to be a bit of a flirt, silly, and at times a bit of a sexpot. It has always been my nature. But when I see his face, it is like my entire being erupts into one giant smile. I don't HAVE to TRY to be submissive around him, because it just comes naturally.
I've always had a bit of a hand man fetish. Give a guy a hammer and some nails and my panties get damp. So when Teacher came over to fix one of the multitude of broken items in my hovel, just seeing his pile of tools made me want his tool.
As he sat at my desk working, he asked me to plug something in. I crawled underneath and found myself right in easy access of his cock. If he would have let me I would have stayed down there an sucked him off, but I knew by his focus that it was wise for me to just get the hell out of the way. I sat in my room trying to focus on this awesome book I'm going to be reviewing here, doing all I could not to go bug him. I peeked out and saw him plugging away and it made me happy to know that he was there to take care of me. I didn't ask him to do any of this, he merely got wind of what was fucked up. Knowing that he did that on his own accord made me beyond appreciate, and well increasingly horny.
I never understood nor respected any woman who felt like they were "obligated" to fuck a man, because he bought them dinner or was their husband. To me is it something you just do, because well I enjoy it. I like to fuck. I like to suck dick. I like to know I made someone else have an orgasm. So while having sex with Teacher after he fixed my crap might seem to an outsider that it was part of the deal, it is something that I just do because I like him! I don't even think this is a submissive issue, it just seems like the common sense, healthy way to be.
That all said don't think I didn't enjoy him pinning me down, or telling me to suck his cock, or calling me a slut, or pinching my nipples. Don't think that last night when he spanked me to the cusp of subspace and then stopped to fuck me hard enough that I came, then repeated the show again.
Oh there was humiliation involved. It wasn't even meant to happen, but he fucked me to the point where all the muscles in my cunt were spazzing out as I came and well, damn it, I farted! Oh G-d! I was MORTIFIED! But I laughed, he laughed and teased me. The first time we were laughing so hard it was major coitus interruptus. Oh yes, I did say the first time--it happened again! That time he just kept fucking me. He told me he was glad to know he fucked me so hard that I was that out of control. I am still pretty embarrassed. I'll live, but as someone who enjoys being sexy, who has only queeffed a few times, that threw me for a loop. I'm glad he is good humored. I told him so, I am sure there are assholes out there would leave. I am sure there are also guys who'd love a woman to fart on their dick!
What I omitted to tell him is that I've been working overtime on my Kegels. I have a major bad habit of clenching my legs together when I come, and I've been trying in vain to train myself to not do as such. It can be an interference to the other part at time. So, I deduced I needed to work out some contingency plans for my orgasmic pleasure. It is easy to get in a rut getting off the same way--any vibrator owner will tell you. So every time I've been at a red light, or while driving to work, watching TV, or at my desk, I've been contracting and retracting my vaginal muscles. I've gotten pretty good at this to the point where today I almost made myself come just practicing. This all may not be news to other people ,but to someone who spent the majority of her life coming by squeezing her thighs together this is a big step.
Well I think I've worked off a few calories on this rambling post. Hope everyone had a good time today and Godspeed you crazy fucks who are going out on Black Friday
Wednesday
Mindfuck
It can be words whispered in my ear, or demands spoken out loud. It can be a dirty talk while fucking, or merely innuendo within the body of a email.
What turned me on initially about Teacher is well, we never saw pictures of each other until a week or so of our correspondence. Actually, I take that back, I saw one picture of him, one that does not do him justice, and he saw none of me. He merely was working on my own description of my self. Yes, until we had our first date, he had not one glimpse of my visage. Needless to say I was nervous, and from what I gather he was not disappointed.
But the weeks up until our meeting, and what truly led me even consider meeting him was because he got me hot in the brain. Also, I think that is definitely a huge facet of my submissiveness. The instructions, the commands, the demands, all of the verbiage that is involved appeals to the part of my brain that connects to my clit.
Maybe dumb is sexy for dudes who just want something breathing to stick their dick into, but as a woman, I need some brain upstairs, and well downstairs. Teacher has both. The mere fact that he wrote, and continues to write, me well written and sexy emails made me adore him.
"I think ur hot LOL I cant wait till we bang next" or this, part of an email I received today:
"But rest assured, you will be just as thoroughly fucked as you were in lesson 2, just with more intensity." Reading that before I left the house this morning sent me off to work with a smile and damp panties.
Which would you prefer?
