Teacher.
I was still in my writing head space and nowhere near being in sub mode, in fact quiet the opposite. Having not realized how much time had passed, I did not even had a chance to get myself into position. While Teacher said he didn't mind, I missed an opportunity to start to relax.
As I watch him unpack his case and lay lengths of rope down on my bed it became evident that I was very keyed up and not ready to play. Teacher must have realized this as he sat down and patted the space next to him for me to sit. He lit us both a cigarette. We discussed my BDSM wishlist, he told me things that surprised him --knife play to the point of drawing blood, to things that are possible in the near future -group sex.
Teacher had me stand up and put my arms behind my back, and he started to bind my arms. "Ummm..No."
"Huh?"
"X, I know you want to wear the opera gloves, but your proportions are not going to allow this to happen. Those are for people who can put their arms behind their backs and touch their elbows."
I pouted.
"We'll do this with your arms up." I held my wrists out and he coiled the ropes in a way I had not seen him do before. The rope went around my wrists, around my thighs, and around my ankles, with a long strand that separated my labia around to my ass. "Are you doing Shibari Teacher?" As I felt like I was starting to look like I was being bound in a macramé plant holder. He laughed, and went on to explain that if he did what it would look like. From his explanation I am under the impression that it does not seem like something he'd be into, he's more into the practical than artistic.
Still, I felt beautiful in the ropes. Teacher had me get on my knees with my hands outstretched with my ass handy for him to destroy.
Life has been rough and I had been clamoring to escape myself to such an extent that I must have dove right in. From the moment I felt the first sting of his hand against my flesh I was an entirely different being.
Teacher rotated through a battery (no pun intended) of his pain tools, from this gorgeous blue suede flogger to the crop to the fucking viper tongue interspersed with bouts of drumming on my ass like John Bonham circa Physical Graffiti.
The suede flogger fell with such a thud that there were several times that I almost though he was using his fists, but as the strands fell across my back a quick wash of relief filled my soul. Just as I started to enjoy the thwacks of blue suede Teacher employed the stingy evilness that is the viper tongue.
I was not gagged so I moaned and cursed, "Goddammit" was the word of the evening. Neither was I blindfolded, but my eyes were clamped shut. My sense of smell for some reason was in overdrive. The ropes on my wrists smelled like a hardware store with a top note of fresh paint. Like a huffer with an aerosol can and a paper bag, I inhaled the rope scent. Bondage after all is my drug.
Teacher was truly whipping, flogging, beating me like he has never done before. Using my safe word occurred to me, but apparently it manifested in me squirming away from his strike.
"Keep your ass still X!" Teacher commanded. I did as told for what it seemed like forever, and I focused my damnedest on not moving. I don't know if Teacher stopped, or I flatted down on the bed first but I just lost it, completely hysterically crying:
"I can't do anything right," I wailed.
"That is not true X," Teacher said pulling me into his arms.
"No, I can't do anything right Teacher" Oh man I was hyperventilating. When I have a bout of hysterics I don't fuck around.
"What are you talking about?"
"I..moved my ass and you told me not to move my ass."
"X, I told you to lay down" Apparently he had told me I could move my ass, but those cries of self-loathing were in all actuality in reference to my anger at my current situation. We both knew that. Teacher knew I needed the catharsis and he took me there, and then like a good Dom he both soothed me and then took advantage of my vulnerability.
Teacher, as I have often teased him, is prone to dacryphilia . My tears brought forth a hard cock as he worked on soothing me.
As my tears dried he worked on pumping both nipples with the syringe pump and the attached the chain tweezer clamps to either one. With a set of alligator clamps he attached one to one of my pussy lips and held on to the other side of the clamp, pulling on them as he worked at sucking on my extremely erect and sensitive nipples.
The more Teacher licked and chewed, the wetter I became. He released the clamps and started kneading my entire pussy. Once again I learned a new thing about my body, as he squeezed at my cunt like it was a ball of dough, I felt my orgasm arise from not clit central or even within my vagina, but from the outside, specifically the center of my mound. Holy crap even as I write this I am feeling my cunt twitch, as it was such a deliciously intense feeling and one of those orgasms that is not just a quick pulse, but a full-on explosion that renders your entire being utterly in ecstasy.
I was still coming as Teacher stood over me and shoved his thick cock in my mouth, greeting my tongue with a taste of pre-cum. As I was laying on my back he chose to fuck my mouth versus me sucking on his dick. Having your face fucked is so fabulously filthy isn't it? He slammed his meat in and out of my mouth, taking stabs at insides of cheek and back of my throat, while his balls slapped against my head.
Just when I though he was going to unload he flipped me over, dragged me towards him and stuck his cock into my puddle of wetness. Teacher felt harder than normal, or perhaps I felt tighter than normal, but all I know is I loved the fullness of him as he lay into me.
He must have felt my cunt starting to contract..
"Come on my cock you slut" he growled, pulling on head back, still fucking away.
"Come on my cock!" he commanded and then paused to feel my cunt muscles twitch. The dirty talk and the idea of my muscles grabbing onto his dick made me orgasm as told.
"That is a good girl," he said grinding into me, scratching at the rawness of where he had beat on me. I was on the cusp of coming again when he took that final plunge, all the while holding my wrists down to the bed.
I love to feel my baby come, I truly do.
When all was said and done, I looked down at the wreckage on my floor and saw the paddle. "You didn't use that did you?"
"No"
"I didn't think so, thank G-d." As much as I like being spanked and whipped, I'm also starting to honestly hate some of these implement. "You know Teahcer, that flogger, it made me feel like I was walking through a car wash with all those flaps and brushes smacking me."
..........
Today I was able to tackle my visit with EVIL without crying. While I dealt with Satan & Co., I felt the heat on my ass from my beating and I felt a whole lot stronger than I would have ever imagined.
Tuesday
Empowerment Through Pain
Sunday
Viper
After he hung up the phone, I ran to my bedroom, tore off my clothes, and put on my new boots. Dressed, or rather under dressed, I ran around lighting candles and dragged a big cushion to the foyer. I called him back, "The door is open." Usually this is a prearranged situation, as I have mentioned previously he's instructed me to leave my door unlocked and be ready to present myself. This time I decided to do it on my own volition.
There in the darkness, in front of my door, I kneeled in my presentation position until my feet went numb, then I rearranged myself on all fours and just practiced breathing. The breathing allowed me to unwind a bit and I began to feel at peace. When my knees grew weary, I went back to my presentation position. How long I sat there, I am unsure, but when he opened the door, I could not help myself but look up. Teacher looked shocked to see me as such, as he did not request me to do so. He put his keys down, and crouched down to my level, and lifted my head up by the chin and kissed me. Immediately I started sobbing. It was one of those moments where my submission felt tactile, real.
"What is wrong X?"
"I...," I stammered through the tears "I don't know."
Honestly at that second, I was unsure myself. He led me to my room. I hugged on him for a long time, feeling so safe against my baby's chest. "I guess I felt like I disappointed you, not being available." He laughed. I told him the truth, how I had turned off the phone and why. He knows how I feel, and how I obsess about things, so I think he understood. I am such a stereotypical emotional woman at times it makes me want to puke. It ended up that he had a very rough day, and that is why he sounded so weary when we had spoken.
So we hung out for a long time smoking and talking, oh yes, he loved the boots! Then I remembered what I had hanging amongst my belts. "Ooh, I have something to show you!" I wiggled my way over to the closet,"I got something new to review. It is called a "Viper's Tongue" and I added my own snake hiss sound-effect that was more amusing than sexy. "I'm going to need your opinion as well since you'll be wielding it, not me."
I handed it to him, and silly me since he didn't have his case with him, I just assumed he'd probably take a few swings and we'd really use it another time. So I got myself on all fours and stuck out my ass for him to test out the Viper's Tongue. Before I go on, I must note that since we've met I've only experienced a leather flogger a few times as his stuff had been stolen not long after we started my lessons, so really most of my leather/flesh experience has been from the riding crop.
So my ass is out and I have no idea what to expect. The few initial swats at my tush were tolerable, but quickly went to me feeling like my ass was on fire. Back and forth, back and forth, up and down my tender bottom and back. Oh I was cussing up a storm, it hurt so fucking much I was pulling my own hair. At some point I grabbed an adjacent pillow and started biting into it. One day I wish to not have thin walls and nosy neighbors so I can honestly scream! He paused for a second and I though "Whew, thank God" and then he started again. I was kicking my feet like a little kid who just got punished, and I kind of felt like one as well. There was another pause and Teacher started again,but this time with his bare hands. My ass sort of was numb, but not if that makes one iota of sense, because as he laid the blows on my ass it started to feel like I was getting pummeled by his fist (I asked him later on, he wasn't). Just as I started getting used to the hands, damn if Teacher didn't switch back to the Viper's Tongue. "You're getting some great marks." I have never used my safe word with Teacher, and I came close.
As my back was to him, I was unable to see that he had cock had hardened. So he slapped down the leather to my own hide again and again, and occasionally running his fingernails down the redness, and I'm thinking of yelling for mercy when he put the flogger down long enough to pull me back onto his hard dick.
Apparently I was so focused on the blows, that I didn't realize that the rest of my body was reacting as well, because the minute his cock entered my cunt, it contracted and grasped onto his thickness and I instantly shuddered with orgasm. Teacher continued to thrust into me, balls deep, all the while flogging my oh so sore bottom! I had never felt anything like it before. Thrust, thwack. It was also a major mindfuck. One millisecond I'm overcome with arousal, and then next blip of time I'm overcome with pain. Every nerve in my body was on red alert and as Teacher took his final thrusts before shooting his load inside me, I too was groaning with yet another orgasm.
Not one to leave me alone, Teacher withdrew his cock, and using the cum that was dripping out of my pussy he started rubbing on my clit, it was already so engorged it was almost painful when he laid his finger upon it. Teacher knows my sweet spots, but last night I developed a new one, it was directly under my clit, neither right nor left, and it gentle upward strokes, this sub was writhing around as soaking cunt drenched his hands. Even as I laid down next to Teacher, I still shuddered with orgasms that were pending in the que.
When all was said and done, I reached over to feel the damage done, nice thick dotty welts where strewn across my skin. Yet again I had reached a new level in my submissiveness to Teacher. I did what came naturally, to be there prepared for him. He did not need ask, I did what I did because that is what I am to do. Not to mention, I hit new heights on the pain and pleasure scale.
I have yet to post my review for the Viper's Tongue, but I can promise you guys it will be most definitely positive.
Update: Most importantly I forgot to add that today, I could barely walk.
Saturday
This and That
*For a month now I've been eyeing a particular pair of boots waiting for them to get marked down and I am wearing them now and utterly turning myself on. Their knee high, black leather, high heeled and corset style lace up the back. I don't think I fetishize footwear, but there are some things that get my nipples perk up and my cunt wet the minute I put my feet into them, and these are as such. Teacher, I am sure, will appreciate me wearing them, I'm certain. I'll post pictures soon.
*A link I submitted to Fleshbot was posted and a guaranteed laugh. Welcome Fleshbot readers, btw.
*Today I received a new flogger to review for EdenFantasys and I can't wait to put it into Teacher's hands to smack my ass around. I spent a good five minutes after opening the box whipping the pillows on my bed. Silly, I know, but I enjoyed myself. There are benefits to living alone. I must say it was a great way to get my agressions out after a long work week, do you Doms out there ever think of stuff pissing you off when you flog your subs? "And this one if for the fucking mortgage company...and this is for the goddamned asshole who hit my car..."
*While being grilled by Dr. Fuckedinthehead today I realized that Teacher has provided me with much better therapy than she has, even though his medical credentials are no more worthy than Dr. Phil's. Last night as I got paddled I caught myself growling and grunting, like releasing anger whereas I usually moan and whimper. The catharsis that BDSM has provided me, truly, has been unbelievable.
Monday
To Catch A Thief
Some moron ripped off Teacher's "toolkit" out of his car. Not all, but most of his arsenal was ripped off...floggers, clamps, etc. Plus two books I had given him. He's been a lot more good humoured about it than I would be. Mind you I am pretty hot headed, but it just yet another reminder of how many assholes inhabit our planet. It is a good argument for Eugenics. Who knows maybe the thief was a brilliant, yet desperate meth-head.
3. Not stolen, but we've discussed the need for a spreader bar, unlike most women I tend to want to keep my legs closed, this adjustable one comes with cuffs, which got swiped. 
