Sex 2.0 Part 2 -Tears and Trauma

I felt like it was taking me forever to get ready for the Fetish Ball. Giving up on my false eyelashes (I've only inherited the liquid eyeliner skill gene), I asked Teacher if he was irritated by me taking so long.
"Not at all, this is your coming out party."
"I've always wanted to be a debutante! Now I'm a dirty deb!" This was going to not only be my first time going out to a Dungeon with Teacher, but actually going out and socializing with Teacher. We've gone to dinners and hotels, but never mingled.
"I went to sex school all day and now I'm going to the dirty deb ball!" I had taken to calling Sex 2.0 "sex school" while reminding Teacher that he was a lucky Dom for having such a hip sex nerd for a sub.

We both looked hot. Teacher rarely sees me in clothes,much less dolled up. As we rode to the club I became very nervous. "Just in case Teacher, my insurance card is in my wallet." I puffed on my cigarette. "Also, I'm a hyperventilator when I'm nervous."

Now I'm not going to be brutally honest here, it was not even remotely what I had expected in my own little personal fantasy of Atlanta's kinky and swinging elite. "Teacher, there is not one man here I'd want to put his dick in me!" The event was a fetish night hosted by a local swinger's club, so the night was definitely more swingeresque vs. fetish. I only saw one scene of some old dude getting his ass beat by his Domme. There were, though, lots of foxy women in the crowd.

A woman I will call "Donna" who attended the conference particularly caught my eye. She must be in her early twenties, she reminded me of myself when I was in the hardcore (punk)scene with her short hair and Doc Martens earlier in the day, well when I saw her in the club she was glowing in a short miniskirt with her gorgeous tits hanging out each with a clothespin on them.
She told me she got spanked for the first time, "Girl, you know those clothespins are going to sting like a motherfucker when you take them off!"

She kept them on for a cute boob contest. The winner (I don't know who it was really)in my opinion was Lumpesse who not only flaunted some gorgeously humongous boobage, but Twittered on her cellphone as she danced around. If that is not a dedicated blogger, I don't know what is!

Anyway, so Teacher and I explored the various rooms. There really was no action other than some people milling about. The music was blasting, so it wasn't really fit for any serious scening, but it did not stop us from trying out a cool spanking bench. One and long a gymnastic horse. I climbed right on top, hiked my dress up and Teacher when to town spanking my ass.

Well JUST when I was getting into it, I heard a voice. "She's really into it"
I looked up and saw a young black dude with a drink in his hand literally right next to my face
Teacher spoke up, "Back off!"
"I just want to know if I can join in."
"Get the fuck out of here!"
The guy kept flapping his gums, and Teacher got increasingly pissed. "This is a scene do not interrupt."
I'm assuming the guy was totally ignorant to what the hell was going on. The club let in single guys, and there were a bunch of young thugs dudes in hoodies and baggy pants. He left for a few minutes and then he came back in and Teacher piped up. "I told you to get the fuck out of here."
"I thought if I was quiet I could come back in."
The piece of shit then had the nerve to come up right next to me, I looked up again and just saw his crotch, "Can I put my dick in her mouth."
I was so fucking pissed and Teacher was, as I write we can't recall what was said, but the fucker just ruined the evening. I just now found out that Teacher, my commando Dom, had his knife out ready to castrate that guy had he had made a move on me. Honestly, I was scared there was going to be a shoot-out at the OK corral.

Little did I know right then that he had ruined more than the scene.
Teacher and I attempted to move on, but it became apparent that it was just a sucky party. The rest of the 2.0 crew was leaving as well. I must note that this crappy party had nothing to do with the amazing people who organized the event, it just so happened to fall on the same day.

We considered going downtown with everyone, but I was horny and realized I just wanted to play with Teacher. "Let's just go back to the hotel and have some fun. There was no argument there.

Back in the hotel, Teacher erotically undressed me, something I totally love considering I'm usually greeting him fully naked. I felt so sexy and loved.
"Get on your hands and knees X!"
I did and he started barehanded spanking me. The more he spanked, the more I got agitated, but mind you my mind was clear. I was focused on what was going on between him and me. My ass started to numb and I headed into subspace, but I was cognizant enough to be aware of a ball of anger building. I wanted to be cuffed right then. Teacher brought out the beautiful blue flogger and started flogging my ass and then my back, as the flogger strokes lessened, I blurted out "Teacher cuff me!" He didn't get mad at me topping from the bottom, but as he rifled around in his bag for the cuffs, I remained on my hand and knees and it just fucking hit me. "I hate that mother fucker! I hate him!" I was thinking of that asshole at the club who wanted to put his dick in my mouth. The more I thought of it, the more violated I felt, and then I just got fucking hysterical.

The asshole had awakened dormant skeletons of past violations. Yes that is plural. Once upon a time I had been molested, gang raped, drugged and sodomized, raped and sodomized, and fucking just plain old taken advantage of while in a drunken blackout.

I broke down.
"I feel so violated!" I did. I did. I was crying, blubbering, and wailing. Every ugly buried feeling about those situations surfaced. "I want to fucking go back there and find that piece of shit Teacher and kill him!" I felt his ugly ball of emptiness and hate in my chest.

So that guy had not only ruined my scene, but ruined my evening. He also ultimately ruined a night Teacher had been looking forward to after a horrific week. Being intimate was out of the question at that point.

Needless to say, Teacher consoled me and was concerned. He questioned if it was safe for me to participate in BDSM. I reminded him that it was not him who brought me to that state but the awful man . Even through my own tears, I felt concern for Teacher.

I do think it is safe, if not safer. I was able to release a lot of stuff that obviously has been weighing me down. I've been in and out of therapy for years, but even to this day I haven't been able to get to the level where I can recall much less discuss all the hell I have been through.

A few moments ago I just told Teacher he could read this if he wants, but he said he didn't think he could.

One thing I mentioned to him last night was stuff I had read that when you're in subspace anything can happen.

Still despite that shitty episode, I have enjoyed my weekend with Teacher.


Amber said...

Hi subnoveau!

Yeah, here's the thing. Those parties always suck (I've been to a few) and they are filled to the brim with assholes who should have a special conference for them consisting solely of an 8-hour version of the "How not to be the creepy guy" session, complete with beatings as necessary.

The party Sat. night, in particular, would've sucked like the others I've been to if the awesome Sex 2.0 people hadn't been there - when we were doing our thing, free of prying eyes, it was fun. When the prying eyes showed up, the fun immediately stopped.

I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience, but I just wanted to let you know that unfortunately, that's how those things go. Personally I think letting in single guys is a HUGE red flag of a mistake. And the organizer of Swinging Atlanta is basically a creepy guy himself, and he's a salesman for his events, making them out to be the opposite of what they really are.

Let's have our OWN awesome, sexy parties instead!

Sakura said...

That sucks darling! I wish I had been there, I would have punched him in the face. I am so glad I got to meet you! I linked you from my blog. Keep in touch.

Sub Nouveau said...

Amber- thank you so much for your comment, email, etc. I am glad to hear from you. It confirms exactly what I thought.

Yes sexy parties for the smart folks!

Sakura, I'm clicking over to your blog right now!