Fuck Christmas

For those who do get the title reference, I give you bonus points. When I first saw those two words put together they were spray painted on the wall of a punk rock squat in my hick town. I'm not religious, but I recall it seemed so subversive at the time.

So it is Xmas eve. I spent the day with Teacher. He surpised me with a very thoughtful gift that will ultimately benefit both myself, and you, my dear readers. I gave him a little sumptin' sumptin as well. I was more happy to be with him two days in a row more than anything material.

I got a vibrator in the mail today as well to review, and we took it for a test drive. It made too much racket. I've had a hard time being impressed by vibrators ever since a friend showed me that a good majority of them have a regular silver bullet vibrator inside and showed me how to dig them out. Ultimately, I still ended up craving Teacher's cock and he fucked me well. He also treated me to some holiday cungillingus, his favorite Christmas meal. Some dudes try to do all sorts of bells and whistles, but he does a mean job, and does what I love the most and something I highly recommend, is just plain old sucking on my clit. I find it much more arousing than plain old lapping and flapping.

Teacher also gave me an interesting thing, tiny metal collar to hang outside my house, sort of like a BDSM mezzuzah, so people will know there is a sub inside. I can not lie, I would have loved a collar, collar, but alas I must remain patient.

As nice as the day was I woke up this morning out of sorts, I had a horrific jealousy tinged nightmare involving numerous women, with a grand finale of me beating up a maid and tossing her out of a hotel room telling her to go back to her country. Anyway it was a lousy way to wake up. He laughed when I told him , but there are some reasons why I had that dream, one of them is a complete and utter psycho with giant wrists and no neck.

So we had a nice time and then we seperated to go be with our seperate families, and well now I am alone, and go figure, depressed. It is one of the most painful things in the world to be with someone and yet, still lonely as fuck. Every year I wish I could shake it and look at it as just another day on the calendar, but at leaast here in the USA it is not. It is inescapable. Any other night I'd be content watching tv, playing on the computer, or reading. Instead, I sit here thinking of how I am not with Teacher and feeling sorry for myself. Pretty pathetic.

I'm invited to go out for drinks, but it is with a couple. Blech. Granted they are both co-dependent cokeheads, but still.

Honestly, I'm merely looking forward to giving the kids in my family their gifts and I want tomorrow to be the fuck over.

I'm not entirely ungrateful, but after tomorrow I will slice anyone who drives around with a wreath on their car or wears a Christmas sweater.

So for those who didn't get the fuck Christmas reference, here it is in your face.

Fear