Sweetness

The wind has been soft and warm all day, the sky cloudy and the trees bare. When it is balmy, yet grey, something grows inside me that I can't pin down. It makes me feel like I'm home in myself, I'm always sunny when the lights are out. The calm before the storm always seems erotic, perhaps because I am the storm.

I wrote the above paragraph earlier this evening. Honestly, I wasn't sure where the hell that was going. It was like I had a premature case of spring fever coupled with some desire to read some Crowley. I went from being at peace with myself to crying within 10 minutes. The crying led to anxiety, I had not heard from Teacher. Being the crazy bitch that I am, I made up about 101 scenarios on why this man I had laughed with less than 8 hours earlier would just decide out of the blue not to call me. Thing is, when I get like that, I know deep down inside I am being completely ridiculous. I've attempted to train myself to keep my mouth shut and wait it out, less I cause trouble where there is none. It hasn't been easy, but it is working. I was able to calm down enough to engross myself in a documentary on PBS. Just as I was falling into my television equivalent of sub-space the phone rang. It was Teacher.

"Candygram." I had teased him very late last night on the phone that he should drive to the store, pick up a huge box of chocolate and deliver it to me. "You know they already have the Valentine's candy out at the drug store." The chocolate talk continued via email as well. I'm pretty typical when it comes to PMS. After we had hung up, I had a religious experience when I found a stray piece of leftover Christmas chocolate while riffling around my purse for my lighter.

"You're here?" He's not one to just drop by. In fact, he never has. I always know when he's on his way.

"Yep, open the door."

For a second I was freaked out. I would love to say I'm spontaneous, but I'm not. I like have time to get dolled up.

I had no choice but to forget how pathetic I was acting and run to open the door. It just happened that I was topless and in my panties. I ran from where I was wallowing to the front door, exciting like a little kid.

There he was with the biggest smile, looking so hot with his long hair streaming past his shoulders contrasting with a black shirt. In his hand was a pile of candy bars. Not just regular ones, but the big ass king size bars.

"Here you go," he handed them to me.

I jumped up and kissed him, that was so incredibly nice and honestly, unexpected. I wish I had something dirty and nasty to share with you guys, but we only had a short time to be mushy as he had to go take care of some personal business. Don't think I didn't try to get him to stay. The dirty stuff will go down tomorrow.

So anyway this was just another reminder that I need to quit being so hard on myself, after all I have a hot man to punish me, and on occasion treat me very well.