Parallel Dating

Is a bitch.
Not that long ago, I was bemoaning being single. A long dry spell peppered with one night standsw.
I was certain I was destined to be alone.
I exuded it. Actually I exuded desperation in my over the top dress and behavior.
I took bad girl to a whole new level and it bit me in the ass.

Along came Teacher.
He became the calm in my storm. He guided me through the dark clouds into the light, even though what I was learning was sort of a dark art. After all BDSM, is not all bunnies and rainbows.
I fell in love.
Along came Mark.
He became the earthquake, rattling my solid foundation.
I became infatuated. Even though he was destroying my house, I had a morbid curiousty to see what would happened if I remained outside of the shelter as the ground shook.

Along came reality.
I kept going back from safety to danger.
When I was back where it was safe and warm, I was tired.
Unable to be fully there for Teacher. Still in my exhaustion, I kept running back to the danger.
Teacher noticed.
I disappointed him.
Failed. Even though somehow all of this back and forth made me love Teacher more.

I had to go out today and get a hammer and nails to repair the damage.
I'm afraid I still might need something stronger.
I'm still allowed to go to the disaster area, but this time I'm wearing a helmet.